A Tar Baby, without naming names I'd like to talk a bit about being White. Or as my beloved friend Omar Bradley explained to me; as being a "Honkie."
I am deeply ashamed of being white. More so now; during the Presidential Elections with Uncle Tom on the Supreme Court.
U see MR. AMERICA i don't have to hurt you to take you apart. There are no fat, skinny, or Middle Weight white boys I won't mess with. The Robber Barons were chastised and never got over it. THEY the 1% bought off the Uncle Tom pretending to be generous when actually they were bought off selling their children for a fist full of money honey.
. . . and where, oh Dear God is Anita Hill when I need her?
What I adore about writing, aside from the joy of doing it; however well or poorly I do. Is simply that I no longer have to make my living from standing in wait to serve the vanity of what are essentially puppets of the Rich. Being paid to be objectively indifferent to, the swill, the sewer, of no-speak coming out of politician's mouths.
This polemic is without hope of apology.
I changed during a wedding I volunteered to photograph. Never thinking that I might, in the gesture, have humiliated someone I presumed need me to cover that cost.
Somewhere before or after the New Testament Reading of: 1 Corinthians 13 I began to weep uncontrollably. Not sob. Just weep. And since I'd promised the Groom or Best Man, brothers it seems . . . or maybe it was the Maid of Honor, or Bride, or another of the four sisters there that I would step forward with my kerchief should the Kleenex become sodden and therefore useless.
I am not a wannabe gangster like the kids and men I see with kerchiefs wrapped over the heads or tied 'gang' style around their foreheads to stop the sweat from stinging their eyes. Being White, I am a gangster in disguise.
Once a sophist, always a sophist.
Once a priest, always a priest. http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/Once+a+priest,+always+a+priest
The soul's vocation is not made; it is born at birth and trained by first: the small community of a family, no matter how dysfunctional. The the Public School, not matter how dysfunctional. And then the higher levels of education.
Unavoidable do to the culture of lies we are schooled in.
Finicalness by . . . U got it . . . old white men with ill gotten gains from usury . . . or what dad loved, admired and advocated: "the sweat of other men's brows!"
I am an anomaly. A kid educated in the Greenwich Connecticut Public School System where it was not allowed: the teaching of certain things, topics and subjects inimical to the 'system' of lies or merely those who profited from the deaths of others for little pay and 'patriotism' to attempt to destroy other young women and men that we might more fully rape their natural resources for profit and fun.
A doctor is, a doctor in all practice or experience; neither an entertainer like Sammie Davis or Miles Davis or Mile's wife . . . there is so much I could say and/or do but choose not to because, because, because; simply stated I am a sovereign self as all life is created not made.
The unexamined life is unworthy of living. This life, the one who or what writes, was kept enthralled by women starting with my mother and ending with M . . . women/girls, men/boys you are on your own dime; rescue yourselves.
Neither God nor Jesus nor i will do it for you . . . free will is the nature of creation and the Creator.
120930 22:49 regrets mr president
Preemptive forgiveness to the woman/man/teenager texting/sexting who renders me dead or merely quadriplegic.
Shiver my timbers. Being a freebooter I know a fellow pirate when I see's em. And like the Drug Lords I can, may or might torture you for my amusement before killing you three or four hours later.
Why?
Because I am bored; and I can.
I was turned inside out during Ray & Bert's, 1st to get married daughter's, wedding.
I, to myself, am not this body, these thoughts, this name, those things I was told as a child and I will come back if you kill me just like Jesus . . . maybe, maybe not "I" will be a Black Jewish or Coptic lesbian pregnant with a rapist child who will be born with a crack cocaine addition and AIDS.
I tried the "privileged white boy from Greenwich Connecticut United States of America routine." It didn't/doesn't work for me. I can watch you die and feel nothing. Not because I feel nothing. It is only that I know what it is to be helpless and have no reason to be alive.
No go to, stay for, return or hold my breath for an hour and suffocate or like the Tibetan Buddhist Nuns am willing to douse myself in gasoline and self-immolate for a cause.
These are only words. Yet I actually kiss the naked feet of Jesus covered in urine and feces, you see He was God and remains God though thought dead. And the sentiment of diapers is inappropriate.
. . . however, in that i am nothing and you are U, it is appropriate for you to redeem yourself through experiment. Name your poison or addiction: money, sex, death, rock-n'-roll, gangsta rap, hip hop, power politics fame and acclaim etc. I see you naked and your soul as well since at Ray and Bert's show I was turned inside out and became more real to me than at any other moment in my consciousness. And I will never again ask a woman to love me because I love them just the way they are. That's the way God loves me and i love God.
u can't con a con
any more than I can convince M that I love her and not because of projection or transference. I stopped being a child filled with longings of any kind, to love and be loved in return, to heal someone who, like the Good Eagle Scout I am not, didn't want to cross that street. Not there, Not then and had having no intention of going backwards or forwards because I wanted to be needed or praised. Or worse: Loved.
Why should I acknowledge a person of any gender, gender proclivities or preferences, race, creed ambition or none? Other than to be just like the Author of All Life willing to watch as U destroy the USA all the rest of the 'world' helpless to change you or your perceived self-ordained, by 'Divine Right to be, or not to be whatever you think it is that is best for you.
You can dress a pig up in Armani suits, hundred of them plus thousands of Doctoral Degrees and yet the pig remains a pig eating everything in sight oblivious that it too goes to the slaughter house or is hung up to bleed out; part and parcel of the food chain.
Don't listen to me: A Dead Man talking and walking to his death, soon. Executed by the State & Church & Life . . . i am no longer ashamed to say God Bless You Father for uttering nonsense as I drag my chains without or with courage to meet my end. Ignorant of what's on the other side of my departure. Leave taking of Hell.
Being irradiated is sickening. The alternative. THE BIG ONE. Is quicker and vaporized you don't feel a thing. Who would want to make love possible in a world that still has "Justice?," an eye for an eye?
& Dear Uncle Tomas kiss my library card. You can take that to your next opinion detailing why selfishness is better than generosity.
OFU!
please . . . the thought of you there makes me ill. As for myself i ain't for sale; not even to God.
121001 01:02 Bargain Basement Sale: Ethics and Morals CHEAP!
©2012 by Jack Spratt - All Rights Reserved
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