120721 16:07 Naomi Judd

Grace has touched me in many ways and the humiliating part is that instead of desiring their company, once or many times, 'in bed or congress', the women I've known know me better for my interest in their minds and souls. That is if they remember me at all – not desired; a near terminal desire to be forgotten.

I remain in awe of the fluid nature of women versus the rigidity of men and by this not woman’s lubricity and man’s erections but their ability to beguile in costume or the absence of grooming.

A brief aside regarding the best friend of my life unrecognized until his absence my biological father who said; “imagine her taking a shit.” Regarding my waxing poetic about one or more or many towards whom I referred not in lust be merely admiration for their beauty for which obviously I have a fatal attraction.

That said, as a reviewer of books, mostly photographic, Jacques Henri Lartigue remains one of my (ATF) All Time Favorites since he photographed mostly his family intimately. She was I believe one of his cousins who ginning joyously enthroned upon porcelain her ball gown raised above knees clutched decorously celebrating his attention exactly as dad had proposed/suggested.

I have yet to understand my vision of people. At times, as with Randy, my intuition of his death, he asleep in his mothers arms, pieta like, what I once saw in a dream floating in the void of blackest space. And not he, Randy & Mother, alone but several or many times less memorable and/or terrifying in others. I am accustomed to seeing the child in the crone and visaversa I can hardly be accused of child molestation or even imagining such a thing yet I sense that a growing number of people would like me dead. If so I can assure them that I am legion merely a graduate from being beaten nearly so.

Exactly how or why I sat having lunch with Naomi Judd escapes me now. The conversation, most memorable in detail and intimacy, never. Not simply for her astonishing beauty but her kindness and grace as I told her of my heritage—not the abuse but our common experience of poverty in Kentucky where mom & my daughter Jahna are buried; each of us have part of our hearts there.

Of Ashley, another beauty I admire for her grit, acting and friendship with Morgan Freeman who I have for long remembered as a cast member I photographed at Brown University in a play regarding the Revolutionary War. Never contacted him to affirm or deny. Astonished am I the wonderful people I've been exposed to. Neither Ashley or Morgan only by their acting known.

Am I name dropping?

No.

I am attempting to illustrate the depths possible in all of us who seek the soul of a person and not their celebrity which like beauty passes with time but the soul remains ever glorious those who give I admire and those who take I ignore.

Photography drew me away from the isolation of painting, sculpture and music socializing me to an extraordinary extent. I am more blest than I can remember at times.

In closing just noticed Mr. Freeman gave $1 million to pro-Obama Super PAC. I was once a constituent of the president in Illinois and sent him $50.00 which I could then ill afford and now lacking anything more than pinto beans to donate; I will mention that I have a friend who knew him in Chicago during his neighborhood organization days – he can have my life if he needs it otherwise I'll ignore Milt Romney as the fraud he is. . . . tithe to Mormon's while raping the rest of us.

I know the heart of darkness when I see it.

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

120721 10:39 accelerator

The Creator of Everything most often spoken of as “God”, 2^nd title or honorific, “Father”, really never worked for me. The deeper I plunge into the fetid and sometimes glorious waters of my psyche I discovered that I never really had a Father/Dad but a friend who I presume by myth and experience and imagining I choose to be my dad. There are various 'myths' about what happens when die and the greatest of them regards Jesus = The Resurrection. The second 'myth' is reincarnation about which I sense both are not only possible but doable by “God” of course. Jesus was destroyed, at least his body then, by the ruling authorities – I don't want to break this stream of thought so won't to give verifiable attribution so LOOK IT UP! I don't like thinkers who flog theology – especially those who deny the innate divinity of all mankind especially women.

The people who flimflammed the crucifixion were Teachers and Lawyers keepers of the then known or knowable “truth”. It could very well be that the prophecies describing His ascendancy – please follow me closely here – were, with good intention, manipulated to excuse their crime. If I am more Jewish than Christian it is because in a dream my mouth was branded with the Jerusalem = The City of Peace, not. Cross I don't have an illustration so I'll describe it: one large central cross surrounded by four smaller: cardinal points of the compass; the four principal Gospels and the number four is the principal symbol of completion – or why Jung was so excited by the divinity or elevation of The Virgin Mary to the Godhead no longer three but four . . .

I have learned that the act of writing, at least for me, is best exercised by walking away dong menial tasks and returning with a refreshed point of view. What and why I write is not from my ego but for us . . .

--Daniel Webster

"Human beings will generally exercise power when they can get it, and they will exercise it most undoubtedly in popular governments under pretense of public safety."

"Justice, sir, is the great interest of man on earth. It is the ligament which holds civilized beings and civilized nations together."

"Let us never forget that the cultivation of the earth is the most important labor of man. When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of civilization."

. . . We the people of the world none so grand as those who pretend to defend our rights are being herded like lemmings to the intentions of our representatives who kiss our babies and posteriors when they want to pretend the need us to get elected then kiss the ass of those who pay for their election/reelection. Thus we are never represented but actually controlled by a few who steal our lives for their pleasure. Think dominance and submission to demigods, or, sadist and masochist . . . think what you must or will this is my sense of the situation and the cause of the failure of our world economy. My thesis is that addiction to power is more not enough never enough for the identity of people who fear staving to death; their ego.

I am concerned not for myself but you individually. The methodology works: all are called but few respond and to those who do respond more is given and in giving away the power of whatever you define “God” to be most certainly not the ability to do harm. More & more is given – peace and grace.

I like goats they're fun to play with but not to give the justice implicit in Mr. Websters quotes above.

e.g. We, according to my friend Walt Whitford, a retired biology professor, receiving, in friendship from former students, information from employees of the Environmental Protection Agency their being fired or pink slipped and their laboratories either underfunded or closed. Add to which according to him we are 3 Billion People and growing over capacity of the world's ability to sustain.

Do you enjoy tuna fish? They will soon be fished to extinction in possibly the next decade, the sea dead in two or three. Add to which we as a Nation have the most arable land largest supply of potable water in the world – Russia, China and India given their population are our next probable problem while our population dwindles theirs multiplies like cancer. They and Saudi Arabia and Exxon own us due to our dependence upon petroleum.

I don't believe God will intervene the extinction of mankind since in faith God gave us Free Will . . . have a nice life. The only constant is change to conserve the planet and population must be addressed. Please pray for us as the family of mankind . . . woman kind.

What I am concerned about is mass suicide and am not seditious regardless of the conservative posture of selfishness institutionalized by law. God is not a predator we are.

To close: I am nothing: not Christian or Jew or Buddhist or Doaist or Muslim or whatever ism you follow or idolize. Jesus was a pain in the sit down and remains a revolutionary. I'm tired of dodging Sports Utility Vehicles driven by people talking, texting or sexting on cellular telephones; merely the unconscionable rudeness of the arrogant and wana-pretend wealthy . . . emblematic of all institutions who kill more but never enough people. To keep a sustainable balance for us to live within. Love is not reproduction but friendship.

--Martin Luther King Jr., Dr.

"A man who won't die for something is not fit to live."

"America, the richest and most powerful nation in the world, can well lead the way in this revolution of values. There is nothing, except a tragic death wish, to prevent us from reordering our priorities,"

Happy 15^th Maddy with whom I am quite madly in love; sorry girl I didn't leave you a better world to live in.

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

120721 02:06 never lost

Nothing in love is ever lost & I awoke thinking of the 6 & 60 million killed by 'authority' I am my mother's son she taught me to be tough, she my teacher, who I love more now than ever

“Did the tree falling in a forest make a sound if no one was there to hear?”

“What is the sound of one hand?”

“Monkey see, Monkey do, Monkey hear?”

Be very careful around me. I deal from the middle and bottom and from up my sleeve the cards you may find in your hand playing Gin Rummy with me thinking I'm legit. Don't think I'm dealing off the top of the deck; never ever.

American Indian divinity is extraordinary. In this instance I'm thinking of the crow and the coyote. The crow is in the three and coyote is . . . well . . . look it up @ Wikipedia, Google or Bling or Ask. You, if there is a you, reading me now you know how angry I am with the 'authority' censoring the World Wide Web. I accept my vision/version of things without need of sanction or approval.

Oddly I sense each key stroke a clitoris; different as the characters beneath my fingers and I don't care what you think of me massively sensuous and erotic I'm still stroking and no authority can touch my soul.

Sister Kieran Flynn R. S. M. taught that we are all unique like the flakes of snow falling from heaven of a winters night. Glorious analogy yet I have come to sense the refraction implicit moving from one branch, the Tree of Life to another like the Asian Indian Ravi Shankar whose music I experience as not linear but enveloping, an opiate without after effect, no hangover; just complete and utter alteration, transformation, born again differently from anything I was before time began what's ticking now the heart of God . . .

Then from branch to branch each a different light refraction seen as usual a point in time never fixed and immutable . . . I am not a control freak nor anal retentive nor conservative of things but concepts – God is real – that you might challenge but never alter since it is my experience and adoration . . . neither of us God & Me are an IT but living reality subjects not objects nor are you the few who read and respond; oddly only women for now.

I am Catholic in the small 'c' sense adoring the mass being said 24/7/365 rolling around the world, a small wave of quiet peaceful prayer for all of us. Add to which I know the divinity of woman infinite because of The Sisters of Mercy.

Add to which I am a “Catherine McAuley boy” stunned senseless in one of her soup kitchens – her prayer to the poor “allow me to serve you” – but of course Jesus is present in all of us the meek moving up to the front of the line.

My love affair with mother never sexual save for her castration of me by false accusation divinely inspired since I've no time for the ministry of marriage. I like them RSM am married to God. They were and remain my Balm in Gilead the only real kindness known in life until M. And by them the women of my life learned my thesis of love: acceptance of it all everything except the submission to faux = FALSE authority.

Think all the right things for the wrong reason or all the wrongs for the right reason. Who judges? God not me, at least no longer for in Jesus Mohammad Buddha Rumi the list is long, longer than time itself, merely God manifest differently for us to see, hear, draw near to and love more dearly day by day.

Who do I shadow box with in my sleep, wrestling until we both fall asleep Annie nestled against my weeping laughing shouting out speaking and as Randy once commented glowing in the dark. He, Randy, said, “Daddy I don't want any more of this . . . my resolve must have been apparent since the steel hat pin poke your eyes out intransigence of my bride's stone woman acquiesced. Unbeknownst to me Kieran was also dying of Leukemia and making the same choice. They my beloved Sisters called and asked me to attend whatever it was funeral or memorial but I don't do them unless under undo duress since they, the event itself, is for the living.

In death the soul departs leaving behind a shell and I am the ice man; the Fargo Shredder . . . what we were stinks, rots, falls apart and fertilizes the earth for the next generation born; living; dying; a tincture of leaven alters the entire universe and nothing is ever lost – nothing for naught.

Never judge anything or anyone as merely this or that since I know my imperfections very well. . . .and the judge awaits our face-to-face.

Have a care since God doesn't do revisionism of history.

As previously published/confessed: I like Josef Mengele am not a nice person. Or merely a con artist doing anything to get you to love yourself then love another and another until the universe is love possible no more war.

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved