Wounded in life, I seek to staunch the wounds of others . . . . --xoj

"Jack Spratt’s two centavo Guide to Redemption”
©2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

God's tapestry, all creation, my greatest value an attempt to live/love for: in gratitude, mercy, forgiveness, regardless of Age, Race, Creed, Gender, Gender Proclivities, or Generosity . . . seeking to make redemtion salvation & resurrection potential in all unique, precious, individual lives, human, plant, animal, world. . . .through words & images - Jack Spratt ... KISS

Tuesday, August 21, 2012


120821 16:40 touring car

Once committed towards a certain goal he, dad, was maniacal wouldn't stop for God playing bumper tag with Yellow Cabs just to get the fuck out of Manhattan in rush hour traffic & then somewhere around midway I'd have to pee after all when it began those school vacation days accompanying him on his weekly trips i was twelve? Didn't matter where or when we were passing filling or emptying stations by the million or so it seemed while he regaled me with legends from Shakespeare's Globe Theater where in the commoners stood in the orchestra while the Nob's stood above, no seats or toilets then, peeing indiscriminate/indeterminately into the orchestra . . . and then while banging his knee against the side door to keep awake he'd rear back his head and call; "I say Gov! Howabout waffling it about a bit" No longer curious regarding my sphincter control i'd roll my by now yellow eyes in agony.

There was no "good, better, best" mercantile mind though he taught me well to flimflam customers into buying anything; a junior always wannabe con man at thirteen to his wizardry.

But most often recalled was the open touring car with a family of sizeable proportions inclusive of Grandparents both sets or sides and distant relatives: Aunts, Uncles, cousins 1st, 2nd, 3rd generations --- you see as dad would have or describe it the open touring car was more like than unalike a gigantic Yellow International School Bus with the top torn away driven by, of course the Patriarch -- women weren't allowed to drive then -- of the current ruling family And then there were no stopping places of convenience; a sort of early deserted landscape traversed by only rich and snobbish motorist; devoid of Bill Boards, trees, the farm out buildings to vastly distant, no scrub brush in sight and yet the road ruts jiggling ones bladder back and forth, up then down, jarringly.

So the entire assemblage a sort of bump shuttle like the Staten Island Ferry's would jostle about raising and lowering skirts pantaloons petticoats bustles granny shawls straw boaters spats argil knickers with soft caps or baseball shit kicker fashion front to back or visor forward in Eagle Scout fashion canes covered in alligators goat beaver diamonds pearls wolf heads rubies and an occasional coonskin cap with tail attached. Hoping upon and down up off a rather small funnel inserted in the middle of the touring car leaving a tsunami of urine in its wake.

Oh sweet Jesus in a little red wagon towed by a dragon farting fire i'd love to see a TV movie of that!

Guess I'll have to pitch it to Rupert Murdock to fill in when he's no longer able to moon the public expressing noxious gas out of his ass or entertaining them with vacuous tits and ass Ayn Rand bobble headed dolls or Chiclets toothed reporters in Armini Suits . . . see please; for your delectation or indoctrination -- possibly dictation of attitudes selfish and screw the poor to death:

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/08/21/ayn-rand-appeal/

I am an old man unafraid of the congress of baboons or Fox -- not news but propaganda -- TV. We are not a free democratic electorate but one attacked on all sides by fear.

The stain of Republicans seem to have decided to let the good times roll seeking more welfare for corporations & individuals of obscene wealth who in their turn have bankrupted not only The United States of America but the entire world in the bargain. I exaggerate via artistic licence no longer constrained by journalistic ethics. I was a journalist and have many friends who are conservative of/by various kinds and degrees regarding what we should all be concerned about.

Were I to be limited in choice, what I would like to view; I don't want, cannot afford, and would not view, any more than I listen to NPR, during the carnival of electoral politics. Since I am ashamed of what we've become globally. We've killed millions to achieve no victory in Iraq, Vietnam, Korea; theirs and ours.

I have neither degree nor ordination to help those in need save the all too frequent encounters with the homeless, the mentally ill (also homeless) the bereaved, or soon to be so and their beloved. And finally, perhaps, and I pray so, I will remind you that I have grievance against the entire medical community, their insurers and the entire Christian Church for not standing forward and insisting upon Jesus' recommendations regarding mercy, forgiveness and to love our enemies . . . about which I know more from eating my imaginary guilt for their deaths; my two beloved children. The why, the how, the when and then their body or ashes interred.

I have a deeply personal relationship with the person or energy we call 'God' of which I will attempt to no longer belabor you. Yet in death I look forward to debating with William F. Buckley what he imagined would become of his brilliant rhetoric and nominally Ayn Rand whose books I read during my youth.

As I did with H. L. Mencken, Kafka, Huxley and Orwell . . . the list is actually endless.

At that I have nothing higher than a suspect high school degree coupled with an actionable record of mental illness: manic depression for which there is no definitive cognitive or quantifiable medical test.

In closing I sight Pussy Riot as an example of tyrannies process of disabling protest/doubt/descent by captivity or internment in mental institutions. Wondering now why are they, the rulers of the world, so terrified of the generation to follow our failures?

All I can imagine, at this time soon to end of my life, is to encourage others, particularly the PTSD and co-dependants & actually mentally ill. To take charge and change themselves; the only part of the Universe we actually have authority over; knowing some joy and peace before it all implodes. Never forget that I, like Rush Limbaugh, are essentially entertainers in the market place of ideas.

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

no web crawler am i since giving up serial masturbation in error assuming the truth given by friend male/female -- Priest/Minister -- or foe female/male that my prostate would remain viable should only i exorcize it daily

a practice i've grown bored with until I discovered this site in lieu of those other all to frequently pursed @ 72 nearly too soon colliding an onrushing train in the blight of my soon eternal nights The before and after Nabokov's eternal abyss preceding and following what we call 'life' not lateral but vertical falling upon me this flabby old white man giggling in delight:( either way actually:)

so general praise hosannas & kudos Glen (by the way i've requested that we be friends or at the very least frenamies)

about your query: I kneel if not genuflect or lay face down in awe the implications of discovering another key to what why & how i am daily otherwise sans the naked ladies with goats or dogs. Well actually i favor MILF's generally since I want to know all that is known about why mother destroyed my masculinity in error presuming at 12 i'd had sex with my 6 year-old sister when I wasn't ever then before erect? . . . .more maybe too much more in the later future that is if Wilson doesn't crush me like a fire ant beneath his exquisite critical overview . . . oh sweet fucking Jesus in panties do i love to write!

Maybe for, or about, Wilson's "Dancing with the Devil" i'll say; the greatest evil i've ever known resides inside my head: well actually all of me especially the neither parts

aside from happy endings via prostate massage or messages i continue to follow the lead of one minister, actually, who suggested that while writing a journal one could find sanity versus the insanity of my life: two dead children a moribund marriage a failed yet oddly famous in my time career as a photographer all ritually burned at various points while i crouched distant sucking my thumb until the trash haulers took away the ashes not then confident; did i hairbreadth away from offing myself as the ashes proclaimed or in some deeply unconsciousness make the consciousness that writes -- sure not me for i no longer have an ego.

yet i malinger molesting prose or poetry to the co-dependents and PTSD who like me wonder daily as they wander through the cesspool we've made of our world; "It not now, when?" for perpetual suicides rehearse the ideation daily, hourly, minute by second WTF i am going to do? Nothing makes any sense of breathing another heart beat into motion.

Among heroines/heroes who have saved me, by morning ritual crawling quote sites, Emerson though GRAND is merely one of many who have kept my nose nominally above drowning in the cesspool drool of those who purport to lead us to safety by terrifying us of, or about, ourselves & enemies real or imaginary e.g. George W. Bush et al + his puppet master  Uncle Bob a once adored figure the two of them Howdy Doody & on TV viewed in childhood remembered simply for Cheney fisting both the wooden doll and the world with his Snark humorlessness into bankruptcy . . . this is, really too wonderful to litter a 'comment box' i think i'll post it in addition -- thanks for the opportunity!

In closing I'll add to your list of angelic heroes: -- again, merely one of legion if know what to look for:

"It is a thorny undertaking, and more so than it seems, to follow a movement so wandering as that of our mind, to penetrate the opaque depths of its innermost folds, to pick out and immobilize the innumerable flutterings that agitate it." --Michel de Montaigne
Montaigne's axiom: "Nothing is so firmly believed as that which least is known."

120821 14:14 reply Glenn S Dorfman

http://culturalbook.com/forum/topics/ralph-waldo-emerson-we-need-to-tread-and-digest-more-of-him?xg_source=activity

Ralph Waldo Emerson: We need to tread and digest more of him....

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved


going/gone home!?


Soon i'll be worm shit or ant toys preferring the latter to the former arrangements made long ago

Of peace i've known from time to eternity blest in moments of awareness/dharma/karma

Nearing the ending

The longest epic poem of Love unending minus my last few leafs riffs upon either writ

The former no longer besmirching the flesh of dead trees impressed with poisonous black ink

Only the latter; a fountain of all knowledge for one and all free encircling the globe

I better understand i wasn't alone beside the Ohio, eyes fondling my sister nude, the shackles in John Rankin's attic, at sea aboard Paradox, or blest by Whales aboard Puffin, or sighing ecstasy buried in vipers ordained. more better more the four year old tricycle abandoned squatting beside a nest of baby pigeons beaks lifted rictus of hunger never slaked crying sightless the heavens providence

But simply as anonymous save for amulets worn constantly varying save for the turquoise ring M gave matching my eyes best days rested no blood shot whites

Moving no longer like a wolf sleeping briefly hunting longer but shark constantly never sleeping death attendant extinction assured

Honey i'm ready for the oven or dumpster don't bother to enslave me to conservative lies slavishly slathered across the media at enormous expense to steal our/my heath the minds of those who like me survived the last individual/corporate war + depression or recession lied misnamed!?

Burn or trash me with the bracelets made by Tibetans self immolating old rudraksha sherpa coral & Bodhi Seeds mala Add the clay motley colored beads by AID's borne mothers who husbands hacked to death or disappeared tying to feed their children & oh, yes please don't forget my Jerusalem Cross they're of no use My time served they jingling upon my right wrist. Encircling/ennobling  my right hand while God held the other at all times in prayer continual answered

120821 11:20 gone home?
© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

Creative diptych Evolution 

120820 1810 ankles

Naked in public, nothing much to see, just an old man shuffling around pants at his ankles laughing. Surprising. One testicle scarred awaiting test flight anxiously. We're so far beyond transference M&me when she began her professorial lecture voice informing me whence I came and wherefore I Goethe. My simmering mirth nearly burst forth. Oh smirking Jesus in a mangled grocery cart have I changed more than somewhat.

Little boys lack modesty naked until erections begin. Old men on the other hand when the erections flag no longer arriving so easily joke about it that is at least me. Until the impending solo test flight and equipment check. I'll report back.

Naked in public really means that I can no longer hide from those I work with, though volunteer, we're best buddies,  what I laughingly call my 'harem of guys;' actually all girls.

Occasionally they ask what I do with my free time. Instead of my usual reply regarding sticky keys and semen on the monitor screen. Or "I'm fine, still erect; sometimes saluting. . . .I'm looking at the right side of the grass." I quietly reply: 'write.'

It is a good thing this being a prophet in his own home being a fool since there is no hiding one's true nature in a hospice clinic. Though, in private I amuse them describing my routine arrival at home, spinning three times eyes closed flinging my house, car, everything keys then attempting to find them before forgetting why I'm looking -- my personal Alzheimer's test -- concluding that when I realize that I can no longer remember I'll go outside and make predatory bird food of myself with a hand grenade lying beneath my belt buckle. Naturally, the pin pulled and ticking briefly before the muffled bang.

I wonder if I'll ever be able to be held accountable by those I love for what I write; instead it seems better than they don't know or if knowing don't care to make me better define what I care about. In retrospect, after three years, it seems those about to die know what I care about: Them.

PS once burnt not twice shy but deadly serious/i always keep a 2nd set; keys that is
/but at that thanks to Bill Gosby/eventually i'd not know even that/caring not for myself but the burdening of those i leave behind attempting to resurrect a vegetable

120821 07:47

i am well and i love you so, take me now and forever, i'm your's
completely known and accepted for evil/grotesque or divine/dove you love me yet
i see you  male/female at times of all principals sensual & loving you more passionately
longing to be filled/filling you by night day any hour all minutes and seconds ticking in this limited life i
Live? Places Palaces Common Extraordinary everywhere and anywhere are you with me beloved trust emphatic the mortar/pestle gold, lead, hourglass or air bestirred vagrant behavior twirling at varying degrees and kinds oscillating warbling wobbling making of the Zodiac a cyclorama with new signs of
Unknown/Unknowable Once oh yes just recent twice did I know your embraces suffusing me a hot air
passing through the nose flute of me Andean evaporating into thin air
the woman specific 1st did I attempt to capture and have yet
having not her for a time forgot and sought none
until the one with Lila impossible dishonorable
yet for that moment molten eruption filling
the room with love embracing not
just she but she also the three
of us yet only i knew
you'd been
there
of
Whom
or
What?
God of course!
ACTUALLY?

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved