120717
05:29 self knowing
Adam
did know Eve as man & woman
or a
herd of polliwogs amphibious become the glory of this species called
mankind
viciously
self destructive for what we kill kills us
No
immunity granted though in retrospect desired
Mother
Shamelessly
I wanted her to love herself and knew not then and know not now how
to say or do what will make anyone love themselves To do this I have
deconstructed my psyche and too well know my own dismissal of all
things governmental or religious entering the abyss of me
Father
was a
man who lived with us emotionally absent there but not there and when
intoxicated became The Living Dead a Zombie breathing evaporating
Half-Brother
of
furtive eyes watching ping-pong bifurcated his nose pressed @ net mid
line What? His mask a uniform Eagle Scout rescuing a suicide blue
gray dead mouth to mouth raping me of my heritage Commander Chuck E
Cheese to some known as Commander Stephen Norman Spratt what the fuck
chuck did you do to our father to make him in the end that last time
I had him for a time as company sob? or S. O. B. = U
I know
dad thought me insane and told you so I'm worthless in your eyes &
my own
Sister
she
loved me terrified I think she once said I'd thrown her down stairs
and for a long long time flashed my rage at her innocent betrayal
what to others would render them cinders she survived . . . perhaps
she disremembers my abandonment of her in stroller Binney Park
That's
my story in a thumb nail What about yours?
I'm
bored with myself since as indicated those who carry much cannot
enter *Heavens Gate but must divest everything naked guilty ashamed
or not wealth being not what you have but what you leave behind nude
Think
extrusion again and again becoming nothing no ego desire invisible
maybe knowing the cartoon of yourself leaving even that behind not
the collapsed circus tent but the kernels of pop corn lingering
behind the leaves of weeds circus moved on the field vacant once more
children laughter not lingering father's sobs nothing remains the
grave?
Nothing!
My wish
to have never been born an inverse vanity since in the presence of
The Who whom I love unreasonably I am told to return to Hell this
life in America Thank God anonymously again extruded not excreted
PS to
those few who in silence pause a moment to read me I am neither
cynical or skeptical since I know to well the lover who created us
*Heavens
Gate aka the eye of the needle
Be well
you & He
© 2012
by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved
