120714 08:13 chuck E. cheese

From first to last knowing or merely in his presence observing silent as a snake my forked tongue touching him measuring him I would reflexively name him Commander Chuck E. Cheese. Best remembered the last, “oh I have friends to call should Dad need any help”, a mustard seed the size of cow flop planted then. He returned to Virginia Beach and dad in Groton Connecticut alone helpless in grief . . . you son-of-a-bitch!

Retroactively now trained in elder abuse – should I be in assisted living or a nursing home eventually, I expect to be raped by a male attendant systematically simply for his entertainment – abuse: sexual, financial, emotional of the elderly soon to die rather than suffer the humiliation & terror telling authorities their child is the author of such atrocious acts. I know your spore read easily now.

I too well know being helpless evidenced by the deaths of my two children While there were two parents involved I was shut out by the ever child mother of her four siblings. Anal Retentive in the extreme she shut me out first to last moments of our “relationship” honesty/dishonesty cuts both ways. Stephen Normand Spratt you stand accused of elder abuse in the court of elder abuse. Rather than the typical he said she said contest of urine splatter about I will simply try you in the court of public opinion and in the end you will wish you'd never been born actually an accident unwanted by dad.

--H. G. Wells

(1866-1946)

“A time will come when a politician who has willfully made war and promoted international dissension will be as sure of the dock and much surer of the noose than a private homicide. It is not reasonable that those who gamble with men's lives should not stake their own.”

"Advertising is legalized lying."

Like the congress of baboons I am a sovereign/nation/cosmos unto myself without fear of death; I know a bit more about “the other side of life” than most.

My first assignment, like the first kiss, most memorable, was in the precinct of South Providence Rhode Island at an art show. First step into the exhibition some one called “Rabani Spratt” I answered to the latter part learning slowly over the years that though unqualified I am in essence a teacher like Jesus and all the Saints and Prophets.

A sinner, and imperfect, seeking such, am I yet also a child of God as we all are. I sense, intuit, feel, think myself a member of all race creed proclivities more over a citizen of the Universe. We all are one family of the species called human. Our souls regardless of outward definitions are equal & my by now old saw: carried in biodegradable bags of flesh mostly water: same/same.

Honor is expected and annotated in The Ten Commandments similar to Jesus' recommendation to love thy enemy – as previously annotated. Trust & Respect of either parents or enemies are based upon behavior and choice theirs and mine. Yet for me there is the Samurai warriors code once drawn my sword must taste blood. I play with concepts, institutions, conjecture and often it is not my knowing but balanced integration of all that I proffer the following – potentially garbled thus in error – sense of the Zen Archer; become the target. Though I could read the Bible a trillion times finding more I find Christianity Freighted with the maundering influence by too many interpretations people who purport to serve we poor ignorant slaves by “Divine Right” implied. Always remember the power propaganda used to manipulate those too busy attempting to survive into mindless herds. what was an attempt to demonstrate God as loving never worked in the sense intended. Rather we cling to an eye for an eye retribution since, in my opinion, it far easier to kill than to love.

Personally I am revolted by the motto on our currency; a patented lie. Were the statistics not cooked or merely wishful/magical thinking incorporating those uncounted Black, Hispanic, Native American; from whom one and all we stole this land “of the Free?” And those acknowledged as “discouraged” no longer counted. You would know were are not in recession but depression.

As a registered voter I favor neither party and out of principal will change my 'party affiliations: from Democrat to neutral' They both are complicit in our current tragedy.

I have a fiendish mind and humor while contemplating the abortion retroactive and forward of all Politicians, Bankers, Stock Brokers/gamers. Which only now suggests that by my evaluation I'd have to stand in line becoming pet food since Stephen Norman Spratt hence forth forever more also known as Commander Chuck E. Cheese, his rodent whiskers and beady eyes twitching avariciously, carries genes similar to mine – my voluntary forgiveness is not entirely altruistic.

I have not come to slay but to teach you who care to love and forgive your selves and those who steal and/or slay you with a rusty sword of Islamic extremist sawing off your head.

Remember: Say & mean what you say;

Thank You,

I forgive you,

God Bless you &

bye the way have a nice life.

. . . then grab your posterior, bending over, kiss it Good Bye hello God's Heaven

. . . as for you Stephen you might eventually find a position commanding a night soil honey dipper barge in Mumbai . . . it's not the money honey its the abuse; rape, psychological, economic being synonymous are actionable offenses against life & God.

Thus my sense it appropriate George W Bush & Dick Cheney should be tried in The World Court for turning Iraq into The School for Terrorist both sides the combatants.

As for the Mormon Milt whatshisname for'gid-about it!

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

120714 01:44 fetish fixation

"He does not need opium. He has the gift of reverie" --Anais Nin

To/4 Betsy Gardner a school mate who is my muse and erstwhile editor Were it not for her I'd not be in free fall growing feathers attempting to fly before auger/auguring aflame dying buried in the bottom of the abyss.

There is much about my sensuality learned from authors of smut, pornography or rhapsodic poetry regarding love. It was Anais who first implied it was okay to be a fetishist as well as many more things than I'd allowed myself to ponder. A soul, being a terrible waste lost in the constants of mouse shit headed conservatives; minutia = mouse shit to me.

About “dirty” movies and photographs: The penchant for most people, especially women in revelatory poses to gloat and smirk or giggle “Look at me mom I'm fucking” is distracting and erection killing. That said, literature or Literotica or erotica invites for the most part imagination sans distracting laughter at me the wanker. Lamentably most amateur writers, like myself, only marginally different, I learned between the sheets to use 'DO' words that move versus 'TELL' words that report what I did at summer camp versus literature.

In time my fetish for panties moved upward to the mind then soul of the gender I adore. Before this could happen I read Nancy Friday and Barbara Walker – does this make me a pussy boy – not really.

It was Gloria Steinem, a fox then and still, well founded journalist; both.

My lover Carol McCabe my original muse working together we 'double teamed' her Carol used shorthand and while catching up on her notes I'd take over carrying the tread and/or begin a new one -- I'd been to the shorthand inventor's mansion sans the inventor. Bob Cavalli, a flutist, owned it, who like dad played in the W.P.A. Cincinnati Orchestra bassoon 2^nd chair premier “The Fire Bird”. Bob bought the mansion and dad being a car freak, bought one of the only twenty Phantom Drop Head Coupes made with Brewster Body. I've seen models of it on nicknack antique stores. I don't cry remembering dad's Ferrari my college education – are you listening tiny dick head one testes brother? After the fact, the betrayal, I played his tape over and over only now realizing we were friends more like brothers than you are fuck head.

I had collected a number of wonderful subjects and stories 'on the street' as a photojournalist and quickly discovered Carol's abilities, lingerie, trust and faith in me personally. True intimacy is not sexual exclusively but on a higher plane friendship . . . To watch these two extraordinary sexy and powerful women at play, fencing as it were, remains another of now many women mentors most of whom I did not have sex or make a baby with but they gave me the 'virgin birth' I now recognize as the who I am.

To give birth to your soul it helps a great deal to trust the All of You inside and do I mean everything. We being, as they say in AA, no better than the secrets we keep a crime against your self and all those, who were you transparently honest, could help you as “sponsors” or mentors. The birth I imply is long painful but with each contraction the suffering slowly become joy, bliss, then ecstasy. Becoming fearless of even God and all the Dragons' you will learn to ride gleefully.

Since this whateveryoucallit started with a personal journal I tend to forget that as in life so in writing every new reader is a whole new universe of potential but at that I tend to forget to mention the horror show of my life.

About the panties, a common if not the most common of male fetishes, they represent the closest we as boys and men are able to touch the wonder and grandeur of the women we love. Having fessed up that I wore them is a minor thing for which many transvestite or transgender are beaten to death essentially by very fearful and weak people unable to identify, then inhabit and incarnate their sexual identity or choice. When women ruled transvestites would skin them alive wearing their skin in faux emulation of what they perceived as the ultimate power.

About power. Give a little and lose very much since the psychotics who run everything have no empathy. Instead of serial wankers or rapist they become greedy for more power never having enough. 

Addiction question #1; what do you want? “MORE”

Moving past masturbation, wearing panties the real issue is with aid of the above I began falling through illusory 'foundations or floors' falling to a deeper understanding of what women are really about.

I love a woman nine years my senior and doubt fully that we will ever become lovers in the sense most people argue about. Re: male/male or female/female relationships. Love is not merely about sex but hugely more eventually friendship. In theory 'soul mates' is juvenile bull shit since a fully formed soul in relationship another, what ever combination, doesn't matter trust and respect does meaning that the other is free to come and go or not go. Independence and freedom from fear versus slavery and a breeding stall. Sex with another independent soul is like God it goes on forever; the Old In & Out just doesn't cut it.

We males begin equal with females yet become retarded at the first blush of hormones and orgasms; dead in the head longing to stick our scepters in walls, doors and anything in a skirt or opening of any kind. “Men wonder when and women why?” Sex then becomes political, a power issue and stalemate. Kurt Vonnegut once remarked the experience of waking to the realization that his school mates were running the country.” Or as in the current case, the world. Instead of being bemused I am amused at the theft of everything knowing them better than they know themselves. Since instead of Harvard or Brown I went to a different school where I stay now The School of Hard Knocks.

The difference between 'us' being that while they are intelligent they lack any moral or ethical sense other than knowing how to abort or merely fuck it up to their profit.

In the Ten Commandments it is recommended that we honor our parents and like Jesus' “Love thy Enemy” to me it means respect not trust.

I know my enemy since I am one to myself. Yet, sometimes, maybe maybe not, I learn to balance between, I mean after all I still seek panties by view or otherwise, to choose mindfully what works in terms of real Flesh and Blood . . . the landscape and pallet of God's dream of us.

PS . . . about 'poetry' at least my perversions both well actually too many to list not enough space on The World Wide Web don't you know.!?

In poetry one has license to spindle and mutilate words mashing them together without reason other than moving the narrative where you want it to. It should be obvious by now I don't know how to punctuate so I leer from behind the Goddess's skirts poetry the greatest after prayer form of literature known though out history but at that nothing compared to dance or music. I've reported this incident before but it's too good not too. Dad was speaking to someone at the front of the store --- did I tell you that whenever a nubile what ever age came in, He's say; Oh Johnny I need help – so the topic was lunch and he always thought me insane probably too right there bro I fell off my chair laughing when he said, “I'm good I'll eat up the street.” My vision version perversions seeing him like Stephen Norman Spratt's mother naked eating grass with he equally naked driving her forwards with spurs.

Oh God! I have never had this much fun ever! Forget women just give me a keyboard.

. . . what can I expect ED AIDS or Alzheimer’s here I come already demented at birth.

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved