(3) 120501 08:08

virginity returns supine
Annie cradled between head and shoulder
exhausted from Mouse a game we play before slumber
fingers creeping beneath the sheet blanket duvet clawed she pounces
enticing times to gnaw with kisses that is if i don't flinch then bleed laughing hilariously
sleep inseminated by dreams, images, symbols, omens and portents, the runes and ruination of heart’s shred returned unscarred reprise childhood innocence screaming steam locomotive and diesel horns blat cars rattling late on farther the moon glowing upon river silent punctuated by fish breaching or the quite splash of paddle wheels then now hum of towboat pushing barges like the cars rattle upon tracks moving past the dominion of death’s fear there is no end only blossoming in speckle the seed of me in her as she swam the height width breadth depth of Ohio’s stream to the tracks in Kentucky crossed by slaves bearing children born in captivity the way back Att’a Boy Att’a Girl summer stock afloat self propelled another carnival of delight seeking finding strings following threads to pearls downward cleavage to suckle nurtured mammalians
Ripley nights
slept echo
never fled
i
am
gossamer word web suspend

120501 10:33 “Inch by inch I conquered the inner terrain I was born with. Bit by bit I reclaimed the swamp in which I'd languished. I gave birth to my infinite being, but I had to wrench myself out of me with forceps.”
 ― Fernando Pessoa {annotated to demonstrate the interaction between self and The All: possible}

. . . it doesn’t matter what you call god if it does no harm, seek and ye shall find (be found) . . . the call answered a truth greater than ‘God’. Should, could, would, may, can i so touch the magnificence inherent in you, all, we as i then seek within The Author of Everything sans Institutional reference or boundaries.

--Ferdinand Foch
"The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire."

photo caption: carina nebula:
A mountain of dust and gas rising in the Carina Nebula. The top of a three-light-year tall pillar of cool hydrogen is being worn away by the radiation of nearby stars, while stars within the pillar unleash jets of gas that stream from the peaks.

Job 31:32 "but no stranger had to spend the night in the street, for my door was always open to the traveler--" the image is not mine, stolen since it is fine. No. Best Blest.

120501 05:04
    Bully i was in youth for my name. During infancy I knew Hitler as a clarinet player, Joe I think, maybe Carl.
    Preceded through elementary school by Jack Frost I was frequently referred to, at first, as he not me. It is impossible among the literate, this shrinking minority oppressed by dreck and thought police, having the sir name Spratt not to be called Jack. Which is not a Christian name but a ‘nickname’ for Jacob or John. Pardon me while I weep for the what seems implicit in “John” the one Jesus said would remain.
    Oh well.
    Regrets I have for my behavior, not guilt or shame since like anger and fear, either, any or all: burdens too great to carry far in life. Worse to be so is to become possessed by them. Defining myself as other than a bully has been to acquire largess my father did not possess, at least as he would describe those who quoted, from “An Alphabet of Old Friends” what became both a Nursery Rhyme and political slander during the Tammany Hall days . . . he thought them idiots.
    Specifically. Indelibly. In a closed loop, replayed once-in-while, perchance too often, is the red headed boy whose two arms I broke in a hammer lock for his jabberer of me. Then my eternal memory the discovery he was adopted and weak regarding his own identity. In another moment of uncontrolled ferocity exploding, not for the same name calling and ridicule, I picked up a peer above my head and threw him to the ground. And wonder still as I wander towards death his consequent life afterwards. Broken? On the alter of my rage.
    Born in Cincinnati, swiftly moved to St. Louis during the beginnings of World War II the name Wolfgang Amadeus was pondered as to Germanic to use, the latter, from Latin love + god. After Mozart of course, thankfully it wasn't Jelly Roll, Satchmo or any of the other musicians and/or composers my life was suffused with then, and only now in private since I weep and dance crying for joy uncontrollable.
    The cat became Mozart and my crib partner.
    Of the many names for God I no favorites and while greeting the day, living it, internally prostrate in awe reverent.
    Faith is experience, belief is idea. . . . or thought/conceit?
    It is oddly wonderful, this writing business, since for me, though I don’t know how to do it, am presented with as many directions I could go--as in from ‘here’--as there are stars. Abiding internally is the knowing that “Christ” was applied afterwards and Jesus was is a friend brother perhaps we all are children of God? And in some sense must be the messiah to our selves, souls, what ever moves us through things that go bump in the night of our terror.
    What name does God give this tiny speck circling infinity, our nest befouled by greed upon which we reside tenant?
    Or we whose given names are a prayer of intention?

An elder Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me...It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, pride and superiority. The other wolf stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside of you and every other person too." --Cherokee

. . . savage? no. barbarians; we
spreading still a school for terrorism our National Church The Federal Reserve