Indiscriminate censorship is apparent in the protection of 'intellectual property' rights essentially by closing certain venues on the World Wide Web. Not all men are interested in unlimited access to either pornography or the manufacture of mass destruction. Distraction would limit the rapid rise of population yet education would be more effective.

Publication via the Gutenberg Bible, possibly more historically relevant than the life and death of Jesus -- I may be wrong in this or merely confessing a personal perspective -- began the Age of Enlightenment. Introducing free will and thought to those who otherwise remained strangled by the State Church of Rome; become Italy. Next came radio, then television and now the Internet each medium in turn becoming a sewer of commercialism run by persons of modest wealth attempting to increase it without working for it. 

In many ways, to me, it seems our economy is similarly conducted and resembles gambling or divination with those who game stacking the deck against those who are content with an honest day's labor, shelter, food and a future for our children. Usury, once a fiercely condemned behavior by religion is now quietly accepted; i.e. The Vatican Bank.

The golden/silver rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Obviously aborted now exported, wholesale, as good for all mankind; a new religion of greed; once called Mammon or Baal or The Golden Calf: all false gods. 

"My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition."
"The power to question is the basis of all human progress." 
--Indira Gandhi

I am stubborn and hard headed, a difficult case; this argument for the reality of Love and/or God. By experience I can argue either side pro or con. As an advocate Of, For, By The people's governance I favor independence versus slavery by any means. My sense of this is not derived from any one origin since I am in daily contact with the people governed and know well their sorrow.

My advocacy is not seditious but a plea for justice and tolerance; and neither a world religion or governance.

Be well those who slay and the slain or merely slaves and the enslavers.

120906 07:36 all men
© 2012 by Jack Spratt - All Rights Reserved

Fabulously bent my esteemed bias for the wisdom of women; if not obvious to you now; you've not read me closely. And upon awakening second time this date; I am with a tincture of sorrow for those I've left behind; nothing new but rare the confession. 

Though I insanely love M for more reasons than I am able to articulate she has in subtle ways advocated that I leave those left in peace. 

Add what I presumed clinical detachment I now think it a ruse since by all estimation we are lovers save in dwelling together or the priviledge of kissing her hello/goodbye. 

Not too long back I took her hand heart pounding and lead her to the desert case in one of our favorite eateries. She did not shirk or flinch away as Susan once did my caress of her breast fatally. 

Between M&M sex will soon be impossible, touch remaining always possible, otherwise by death parted or her rejection of me anticipated by these words or simply by holding her hand leading her anywhere. She is so cute. When last we had lunch, she demurely grinning my last proclamation of love saying softly; "I know."

. . . adoring all phases of the moon and sun I stood awe struck moments ago seeing a choir of angels greyly awaiting their whiteness at full dawn the moon perfectly above enclosed in cloud an eye winking down and then and then the breeze caressed me and I wept as I weep now my sad joy for no matter what takes us apart we've been together before and again we'll be wherever so.

. . . sometimes unbridled joy sings these songs from whence I know not cometh and love has molested me gently her fond abuse forever remembered

120906 0549 joyful sadness
© 2012 by Jack Spratt - All Rights Reserved

Isolation and estrangement best describes me to myself as I was from an early age. Trusting strangers easily and shy of my parents, ashamed of myself and the 'family' I came from; early on learned to keep secret my secret humiliation. In AA and/or most, if not all twelve step programs I learned that "We are no Better than the Secrets we keep . . . " 

The ellipsis implies there is more, but most never go that far, or nearly as far as I've come. Or at that do I intend to go. My Higher Power is infinite and my intention, for a very long time, has been to go as far as going goes. 

Both parents were alcoholics. 

Meaning that they were significantly impaired by drinking; their personalities altered substantially if not radically. 

The before and afterward of two events in my life, trying beyond endurance were Randy's death and my abandonment of Susan, my then wife who I frequently refer to as the-bride-of-my-youth in that I loved her from the third grade of elementary school Old Greenwich, Connecticut. 

Ah Ha! 

Epiphany: 

My father thought it wonderful to be from Greenwich, of which Old Greenwich is a section of. And my mother apparently--dependent--upon him went along. Her behavior, as was Susan's, until both at a certain point decided upon independence: Mother took as lover a young man who served as clerk in our business. Susan decided to become an Episcopal Priest. 

Typical in my observation when one partner becomes significantly 'changed' thus a stranger; the one stuck in their ways leaves.

What had mystified me for years and years -- Susan's inability the express pain or fear -- I thought overwhelmingly, indicative of her lack of feelings. The clue, resolving a great mystery to me is that she like mom was silent; as I was taught so were they. To be seen and not heard; pets. Slaves to their parents.  

My adaption was to assume responsibility for their choice in behavior to me; to control myself in relationship to people out of control. Could it be that I became the parent to two children? Therefore write as the adoptive parent (surrogate 'higher power' to) the world sans my family: two dead biological in origin and one by adoption now fled. M, apparently healing me is equally silent and until recently unrevealing of her real self. "Real Self" in the kind and degree of willingness to reveal ourselves to another . . . what she has done for me is to make not a lamb but a mouse into a Lion. If a 'lion' then an odd combination of male/female since male lions are essentially not killers. Typical of all males they just make a great deal of noise. Or like junk yard dogs; none at all.

Curious I went to AA to understand my potentially being alcoholic in personality. Low and behold here I am free of that concern and all the difficulties of my life; including my death. Free to love myself as I was, am, will be. I care not whether I live or die since I know my Higher Power will guide and express intentions for me obviously as God has.

My fundamental definition of love is to accept were as Islam means to submit; same/same. I do not 'fear' God as implied from my reading of our Bible; I am fearless because of God. The Oriental Wisdom traditions do not acknowledge "God" but, in a sense, a "Higher Power" unknowable. The emphasis is knowing yourself; advocated by both Occidental and Oriental 'spiritual' mind sets; or perceptions of 'truth.' No wonder I despise The Theological Tango. . .about but not of God.

My initial motive in this post is to thank and praise those who in response have shared their impression of what I wrote and thus placed 'sticky notes' on my, invisible to me, self. Add to which in very significant ways, what I do that disables my core ideals. Rage against the blight of those who don't know themselves. Addicted to their unknowing would and do defend it by killing anything that is inconvenient to their sense of right and wrong or what might otherwise lead them to consider their behavior as inadequate. e.g. Make laws to protect and make noble their greed. Tainting the world with cupidity and enslaving all else. 

There is one God and of God is expressed in part or whole the essence of Love. Darwin expressed his sense the purpose and evolution of life by saying; "only the strong survive" meaning not individual animals but the gradual evolution from amphibian to flight. Outrageous abuse of the writers craft; what can I tell you I'm no writer but a fool in love with God. 

120906 01:11 isolation 
© 2012 by Jack Spratt - All Rights Reserved