Uncle & aunt fuzzy sorry bout dat @ 1-2-4-3 Tellez Wedding!

Bertha & Ray Tellez marrying off their first daughter #2 2 Chris said she had her original wedding ring stolen someone broke into their or her home before during after? whatever happened when and why the stolen ring began a string of thoughts that slowly began to eviscerate me maybe dissolve? maybe not but it began to hurt and the water began to fill my eyes somewhat like looking like I was looking at the stations some had been stolen and were Xerox copies?
U know it used to be that when working it would be for me frenzy entering the cyclone of considering all the variables within potential capture inside the frame of what a camera sees so it follows that there are mom, dad and four girls of whom one is the bride to be soon married. . . .What's her name?
oh dear me What's her name? 2-3-1-4? not Bertha or Ray of course! I'd asked them to wear NFL Football Jerseys over their wedding costumes but they laughed and giggled and smirked at me (the really didn't understand my greed and need to direct the choreography of the wedding march to and from the alter since I am not ordained and Father Dom would have to kick me away from IT! . . . U know in times past I'd say the best thing that ever happened to me was learning to read the Dick & Jane Reader, then I discovered playing with myself---oh boy!---then girls---more better---kisses and things like that the trouble with kissing girls is that it leads to soooooo muuccchch more like .......................babies Well i really don't like boys all that much. what's a guy gonna do? moving right alone/along then came M im so crazy for M the best event of my life and maybe maybe not in heaven for me is to make M laugh. Robin Williams and Jonathan Winters make room for me in the funny farm fun house filled with distorting mirrors the carnival of wonder a MIRROR MAZE!!

U know i really shouldn't share this with you or anyone . . . shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhsh! can you keep a secret? I sometimes am seized by visions, omens, runes, ruins of my heart, visions and daydreams, myths and portents: things that just make me wanna run jump shout ride the ceiling fans going about completely nuts.

u sea Bertha said the wedding rings could be replaced but her high school class ring could not and she's worked long and hard to pay for that weeping blood and shedding sweat to purchase it and the thief or thieves Incorporated meaning the rights of individuals to bore me to tears with their greed well than I began to cry and had to walk away and make someone laugh before I became hysterical upon the floor a puddle of love evaporating like a jelly fish in July in the Death Valley abandoned when i was a little boy never really small but smaller than i am now i don't mean around! but as tall!@ Mom had this ring in her sewing basket and i saw it and asked what it was why what for and she said it was for me when I growed up and of course U sea i went crazy nuts wanting that ring right away and again and again i begged for it she eventually gave it to me a man's ring she bought for her graduation when she was a well just a girl and not a woman or mother of me for me and wearing it i lost it somewhere in the playground of Old Greenwich Elementary School and i remembered it was muddy and cold that day i died of shame weeping with guilt i wandered into dusk then dark then dawn looking for that ring oh Dear God why do i still love silent women? Wouldn't it have been better if she had beaten me to death or stabbed me with her pinking shears or used me for a thimble or pin cushion??????????????????????????????????????????
God U can't fool me since mom forgave me last night telling me it wasn't my fault since she could have wrapped the ring with band aids and it wouldn't have fallen off . . . I loved/love/will always love mom for ever.  Finally forgiven never forgotten in Maysville Kentucky

i have to say this i did wrong 4 wrong wrong 4 right 4 right and on and on ad infinitum in love for mom God as dad never really worked for me since he dad was just a clown silent watching not smirking but inert while she beat the tar out of me at times but that was all healed at the Tellez Wedding Rehearsal and by mom this morning sometime after midnight and there was is a full moon too, two 2 in a tutu dancing the best prayer after music but of course the two go together don't they!?
1209829 08:08 Tellez Wedding
©2012 by Jack Spratt - All Rights Reserved

Death . . . of course Virginia there is that but lasting briefly but a moment the pain of leaving but of those left we who mourn the suffering is just begun save for but those of us know death a mercy for some. 

Love unending is the beginning and ending and the middle or substance of existence and lived or ignored and discovered only in the blinding binding light magnificent and for this we return perhaps to learn again that love is all there is.

What we love loves us, kisses of coins or flesh or wind vagrant touching and caressing us but a moment or more again and again Dragon Flies resting their long flight across Narragansett Bay upon cat's paws of little to no wind and upon arrival after hours of drifting or seemingly so aboard Lisa bass fastened not lasting electrolysis you know but long enough for upon the far shore dad leaned out and asked the clamer what state is this? Center Board Shoal Draft don't you know? Oh Dear Virginia. Don't you know nothing about boats and mucking about in them ecstatic and blessed-blissed out?

Holy Ghost Spiritual Host of All Clouds, Virginia, The emergent Mary marching from east to west whiting the clouds still in darkness Virginia know ye nothing of love? Let me show ye from the starry sailing about the midnight bereft moonless milky way Virginia.

Oh Virginia don't you know yourself a redeemer saviour prophet saint angel not merely a little girl in a gingham checked sailor suit with a skirt and pig tails beads and all intertwined and cornrows I love you so

&

death

hath

no

dominion

&

what's

god

call

U

when

wanting

to 

play?

120929 06:36 proof

©2012 by Jack Spratt - All Rights Reserved

'words tattooed upon and within your heart '

moments in love
love loving you loving love
when it all the ecstasy and tragedy becomes one endless string of pearls and you are loved loving love loved you become the melting eye seeing it all a symphony of all love that ever was growing oceans and all the water in the entire cosmos is love loving love we’re all canaries in the coal mine called to sing and some do some don’t some won’t and some just lay there dead passing their songs along to others yet to be becoming love of themselves pearls in the continuity of love and in love names become meaningless fear gone forever more no more terrorist of fear since love is loved and accepted in whatever way it comes is love.

I buried her in Maysville Kentucky in a white refrigerator with gilt plastic handles mandated by the airline carrying her to me to put in her final resting place in Maysville Kentucky and Tom was bored because I couldn’t stop reciting from the Prayer Book Celebration of Internment and because I loved him and her and my sister I stopped and came to me last night and said; “Its okay son; “I loved you all along.” No exclamation mark no need shout or runabout singing or saying anything but the tears began then and quivered in my reserve of arrows loving their target and all the children beside her sang love is love loved the author of all love is love in chorus silently loving me loving them and the author of us. 

Was I born to say this? I’ll not ever know until before the judge of all love the lover of us.

It was asked of me once what does it mean if you see Buddha walking down the path towards you? It means you don’t ever kill anything or anyone because what you Kill slays u & u don’t have to slay me because I slay myself for u and 4 love B well B loved Beloved always loved exactly where and how and here you are. 

There is no end to of love it holds us the courses like the stars above us singing in chorus winking and blinking the tears away all the time until time ends never I could stop but won’t because in the end which is never you feel the love or don’t I buried her beside her father dead at four she never knew who says essentially I did did not shoot myself on purpose . . . but that’s my story not yours Yours must be sung to you as mine is to me making it apparent apprehended and convicted that U2 are loved, beloved, lovely and adored 2 well hell doesn’t exist and the devil is in you as well as love and in choosing you see the reason U must die to yourself and be reborn again coming back loving differently U see for M it would be insane for me to preach love to you since I cry every time I read reading aloud 1 Corinthians 13 and sometimes even get hysterical and roll in the mud beside my dead son never to be seen again and the deal is pastoral and liturgical the first has no script and the latter has one that goes on and around 24/7/365 a tsunami of love drowning everything before it. 

read the words tattooed upon and within your heart what you otherwise being young and about to take over the controls of life wear not upon your sleeve but the flesh of your arms 

120929 04:08 celebrate
©2012 by Jack Spratt - All Rights Reserved