Spending too much time in crowds vocationally I avoid them vehemently tending towards places tundra's, the sea, deserts trackless desolate places. Remembering the lovely Fire Engine Red Alfa Romeo Spider I drove into the ass end of a dump truck first day of spring a young woman twitching her posterior sans winter coat and laughing at myself the memory. A soul, a person, a self, a man woman child life small & large diminutive ginormous is a terror to waste but why oh why are women so much more beautiful than men i'll just be a pussy hound dog in heaven hell or purgatory in between forever never ever slaked.
I think i've just healed my major brokenness -- Love'm & Leave'm -- all the time never satisfied can't fill what's empty inside Born a mendicant monk monastic no joke baby you Ain't got what it takes to fulfill me except M the rivers confluence and me just a round stone rolling along beneath & within her love to the placental sea of oblivion drowned in stars ecstatic bliss disappearing never should'a been born.
Janina, my sister, cut from the same tapestry, astonished me once in a blues bar as a foursome we were leaving it a dive in Providence and a woman said something to her Tom and Janina flat footed cold cocker her walking away oblivious. And now I wonder now knowing why we are what and why we are siblings as for myself no longer wondering wandering the fantastic violence within me difficult to bridle a farting flames dragon wanting not penetration but just to sniff & lave your souls quintessence Nonesuch indeed. Sweet Jesus leaping and vaulting all the heaven's stars soaring do i love women or WHAT!?! Run run runaround flaparound somersaulting soaring invisible a predator always hunting i'll be never curbed
i too want to bite the big one and know God forever but my mouth's not big enough searching around in my heart is OM minds lyre lair a virus in the Universal Mind of God
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