Random thoughts: Prayer is being a tuning fork in the apparent chaos of creation. Once struck it ripples outward and inward to the, as St. Ignatius would have it, God within and God beyond. Prayer and wisdom seem to go hand in glove. As I am and was: in childhood I had no idea of what I prayed for aside from “Now I lay me down to sleep . . . and “The Our Father . . . “
Now chagrined I recognize and articulate a concept of expansion; ‘To grow large enough to receive the love of God’, as in God’s love for all of us, the living and the departed. Example: In childhood I seemed to be a source of anguish for my parents and in loving them more came to feel I was unworthy of life. I was drown in that.
Then came a person who later on would tell me her initial impressions of me before and intimately share her conclusions now, going on four or five years, afterwards. I am stunned. Our relationship is platonic, as in friends and I am, at times, alarmed by her insights and struggle for comprehension in several instances taking years to understand and incorporate the gist and truth of what she suggests; her resonance refracting mine.
. . . from dust we came and to dust we return
In our case planning ahead independently we choose the same: cremation, our ashes spread somewhere in the desert we love . . . this place where God is more obvious than any other. Dramatic isn't it. Yet for my part my Power of Attorney has been informed, though he is a Priest, that I would not object having my remains being placed in a dumpster.
Regarding the Bible, or any of the several books of wisdom, I do not cherry pick but attempt to integrate the entity whole and let the implications move about in tectonic fashion. How can I stand the soul quakes? I was enraged with God that my nightly prayers over the sleeping child, my beloved son, was not answered and he spared the death he met. . . . take me instead.
Random acts of kindness are also prayer. A gift freely given with no expectation of return or applause. No milk and cookies for being ‘good’. Jesus said, “ . . . when you visited me in prison, gave me a cup of water . . . “, treat all as holy even those who assassinate or merely persecute you in veniality and cupidity. I don’t know what Christianity is. Though I am catholic & Catholic educated I can only assess my relationship to God and in that love I find wholeness & holiness in all. Latent or actual it’s there.
Beloved . . . who are you and where?
The resonance expands outward making me smaller each day. I write from a need to escape the tyranny of photography: “Be there and deal with the moment captured in a black excluding frame.” While writing I merge with infinity and find love there.
Or is it here?! As in “Be Here Now!” --Ram Dass.
I imply nothing noble, grand or holy in either the random gift of kindness or the choice of what to include or exclude in photography. Be naked in your kindness vulnerable to failure. You choose your vision/version of what life and love may become. Not even God does that for you. The spindle of grief upon which my life revolved has changed from cold steal to a shaft of light. My gratitude for this is limitless extending even to those who __________ you know who would/have stolen your shirt and life.
As for rote prayer, I do recite The Serenity Prayer, but now instead of petitioning the gift I acknowledge its receipt.
--Matsuo Basho
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought."
--Eric Hoffer
"Fear comes from uncertainty. When we are absolutely certain, whether of our worth or our worthlessness, we are almost impervious to fear. Thus a feeling of utter worthlessness can be a source of courage."
--Earl G. Hunt, Jr. (Bishop--United Methodist)
“Prayer is a kind of calling home every day. And there can come to you a serenity, a feeling of at-homeness in God's universe, a peace that the world can neither give nor disturb, a fresh courage, a new insight, a holy boldness that you'll never, never get any other way.”
--Rainer Maria Rilke
“Our being is continually undergoing and entering upon changes. ... We must, strictly speaking, at every moment give each other up and let each other go and not hold each other back.”
