dead right to be so is still to die

http://www.reuters.com/news/pictures/slideshow?articleId=USRTR39KGB#a=3

Terror and chaos attends all my days from birth until now; longing to die. Knowing the value of Jesus death to me personally I remain await the moment of my death to humiliate authority in didactic ways. We are all our own saviors; as of needs we must be in healing ourselves the savage predation of those who see divinity in power and force over others; to make the world safe for themselves by enslaving and/or destroying all other life.

Chaos, or what I experience as creativity, now, is customary to me. And those who pass before the scan of my attention would be well to avoid it. That is, of course, if they care to live in peace. My savior lives in me. And as He suggests; when unwelcome; "shake the dust from your sandals and move along" . . . while I like a child have clung to his foot teaching me to dance.

Tho I loved, love, my father in life and death, he remains oblivious to the chimera mother was to me -- i have yet to fully understand what it means to others or me: “ 5. Honour thy father and thy mother ” There are insufficient seconds or heart beats in eternity for me to slake my curiosity about the how and why I, much less all others, do as they do.  M is not my sole resource recovering my soul from the hell I’ve lived in, save in all other things than wed union, she is the best woman I’ve ever know to go the distance with: going as far as it goes--unto death--and in death we will forever be friends--more so than the prayer of intention said at weddings the world round. Dare I? Should I? Could I? Of course I can say what damn well pleases me to say: we merge and mix within each other at times suffering one another’s pain and joy.

For the love of an old man who taught me what follows, a house painter in Jamestown, Rhode Island; who when asked about his wife would reply; “Compared to what?” He would ‘box’ paint. Mixing it from one container to another in order to render the entire room in perfect harmony. That is what I feel in the presence of M, of Mary, of Jesus and of course: God.

I am aware that should others know my energy devoted to observing them, I would be held in captivity; the darkened tombs beneath the Vatican Empire. I is only by the greatest restraint that I do not take them apart just to watch their hearts beat before eating it.

Depending upon my mood: I might put the heart back in place thus resurrecting them to do it all over again. Or. In a nicer frame of mood: I’d simply leave them to ponder my silence. Obviously I am equally divided between being kind and unimaginably cruel. Oddly, aware, at my age, every moment is precious to me more valuable than all the money, force and power in the world--yet longing to die, longing to know what it is to simply decay . . . “ . . lead me not into evil . . “ Let me not lead others there either neither.

C G Jung: anima female, animus male--look it up! A world without equality for women is civilization lurching one-legged; like the Nazi Pope lead catholic church.

"Don't find fault, find a remedy." - Henry Ford

Passion is the basis of compassion and empathy.

121026 03:32 Dead Right
©2012 by Jack Spratt - All Rights Reserved