Jack Spratt

120717 05:29 self knowing

Adam did know Eve as man & woman

or a herd of polliwogs amphibious become the glory of this species called mankind

viciously self destructive for what we kill kills us

No immunity granted though in retrospect desired

Mother

Shamelessly I wanted her to love herself and knew not then and know not now how to say or do what will make anyone love themselves To do this I have deconstructed my psyche and too well know my own dismissal of all things governmental or religious entering the abyss of me

Father

was a man who lived with us emotionally absent there but not there and when intoxicated became The Living Dead a Zombie breathing evaporating

Half-Brother

of furtive eyes watching ping-pong bifurcated his nose pressed @ net mid line What? His mask a uniform Eagle Scout rescuing a suicide blue gray dead mouth to mouth raping me of my heritage Commander Chuck E Cheese to some known as Commander Stephen Norman Spratt what the fuck chuck did you do to our father to make him in the end that last time I had him for a time as company sob? or S. O. B. = U

I know dad thought me insane and told you so I'm worthless in your eyes & my own

Sister

she loved me terrified I think she once said I'd thrown her down stairs and for a long long time flashed my rage at her innocent betrayal what to others would render them cinders she survived . . . perhaps she disremembers my abandonment of her in stroller Binney Park

That's my story in a thumb nail What about yours?

I'm bored with myself since as indicated those who carry much cannot enter *Heavens Gate but must divest everything naked guilty ashamed or not wealth being not what you have but what you leave behind nude

Think extrusion again and again becoming nothing no ego desire invisible maybe knowing the cartoon of yourself leaving even that behind not the collapsed circus tent but the kernels of pop corn lingering behind the leaves of weeds circus moved on the field vacant once more children laughter not lingering father's sobs nothing remains the grave?

Nothing!

My wish to have never been born an inverse vanity since in the presence of The Who whom I love unreasonably I am told to return to Hell this life in America Thank God anonymously again extruded not excreted

PS to those few who in silence pause a moment to read me I am neither cynical or skeptical since I know to well the lover who created us

*Heavens Gate aka the eye of the needle

Be well you & He

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved