fraud in America

Fraud confessed to, by me, is not an artistic device to grab your attention to the plight and suffering of we the: defrauded. 

Retired after forty-five years in subcontract/freelance service to The New York Times. I ran away from 'home' ashamed of the act abandoning my work of many years because the woman I ran away from was in anger: a terrorist. 

Very much like my mother, wives (2) and one I chose to live with as, in retrospect, an excuse to abandon the Bride of My Youth; the one I had loved since first sight; third grade, Old Greenwich Elementary School . . . in some sense our marriage seemed foreordained or fated to be: by God. 

Yet, first to last, from childhood until now I was victimized by the women in my life. By 'choice?' or 'chance?' or simply because I was addicted to abuse knowing nothing else and longing for more and more and more. However in the education I received at the hands of the women I loved and love still; and pray for daily . . . is worth every tear, every blow or what I know as the runes and ruins of my heart: wounded. 

The reason I write and considering the one I love & trust is God . . . formulating my sentence--this one--I remembered "Cast not your pearls before swine." 

Ah Ha! 

He, who ever he was inspired to write that knew the Politicians of their time, the Sanhedran, would destroy His opposition to their power. 

I am sincerely humiliated and ashamed to confess that I have plumbed the depths of myself. To the degree, extent and kind: I recognize evil with in me. The ability to rape, pillage and burn or merely to murder those who appose me. 

I have not done so. And never will. Being willing to die instead of kill another with my mind, soul or being.  Whatever it is than I am. That which--the Who--inspires me is nothing like me. 

Or at least I pray so--am I like Job? Am I being tested? Or am I merely myself an old man soon to die looking for a reason or excuse, to keep-keeping-on Living for another day. Another moment? A breathe away from ending it ever since I was born.

I found the first & last--at last--a home in New Mexico and second in finding a reason to keep-on-keeping on despite dying several times over once I arrived in Las Cruces. I began to post my experiences in hope that others like me would begin to fight back the issues and experiences that made them victims; like myself: the Powers that Be secular pretending to be benign.

Combined between, initially: Care2, Facebook, then Google and My Opera . . . now my true home for writing for writers Culture Book. The first two and last sites do not provide any measure for counting the number of "hits" = people who have read or viewed my words and images. My estimates without verification are that between 10,000 and 20,000 people world wide have "hit" my sites lending me a sense of accomplishment; not for myself but for those of who are in reality victims of abuse.

My personal truths have informed me that, for the major part, what I experienced as abuse was in fact teaching me to survive in a world committing suicide. 

My parents were the first authority, as an infant, I was abandoned in so many ways it is ridiculous to detail them. Yet there were personal examples of hospitality by Jews that hammered home the reality of love. Love expressed in foreign ways yet being highly intuitive I knew love when experienced and seeing it incarnate. 

Fundamentally, by root and growth, then and now, I am Christian near death having come to the simple declaration: "If you wear a cross be prepared to die on it." 

The Cross is not decoration for me. It is a portal, statement, symbol, of intention, dedication and willingness to follow the person destroyed upon it. Jesus was not murdered by Jews but the Sanhedrin who ruled Israel then: spiritually and politically.

Though, first to last, I've never had a quibble with homosexuality. Nonetheless I've been viticmized by a man who fathered children and the decided he liked living with a man instead of his family. 

Some think me handsome, but by neglect and the utter absence of love, I take my appearance as nothing worthy of attention; somewhat akin to what I write and or photograph. The man I fear is hitting on me sexually.

I follow acidulously Jesus' direction to pray for my enemies. Those I currently pray for are: The J.L.Gray Co., Messila Valley Hospice and the entire Government of the United States.

Today was unique. I am elderly and destitute and too preoccupied with the man who promised to throw me into the street. The homosexual manager, who promising to leave was made assitant manager and I am a prisioner in my apartment because of him. There is a community here terrified of him, some do not feel that way and they curry favor with a two faced evil man who abuses the edlerly as did Hospice to and for whom I gave everything I had and they kicked me to the curb. I did not protest or dispute their right to expunge me from something or someplace a Ioved. . . .

I could and will go futher if in the presence of authority I can trust. Not just leagally but intuitively. I am more than I seem to be to myself since it seems God loves me unreasonably. If this is so I must speak for the poor, the meek, the widows and orphans and not the sleek fat cats who rule America and New Mexico and abuse the elderly. The woman who saved my life said rape and abuse are the same, the impact on our lives never ends -- it is a form of grief -- the one who passed away is myself. And I grieve for my three children, the women I've loved who never loved me the father and his second-son who stole my enhirtance . . . no wonder I don't care to live or die in America . . . yet unlike the people I canvas in the streets none want to vote or trust either the Government or the Medical Business Incorproated agains us. 

In closing I will lend you my coviction that Culture Book is a better home than Google, Facebook, Care2 or Intentions and I will give when I can a few dollars to keep it alive as I do Wikipedia and NPR ignorning those theives named in priority J. L. Gary, Mesillia Valley Hospice, Republicans, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney and few individuals who are very fortunate that I left instead of tearing their hearts from their chests as They Did Jesus, as, and or like, we all: victims of authority. 

121001 18:20 He's gone. I am free from the prison of my apartment. No longer have to avoid seeing him to receive charity adminstered or denied by him: $300.00 in poverty for utilitie bills; I'd rather die than kill him merely by looking into his lying eyes. . . . I'll go hungery first.

The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be. -Lao Tzu

http://www.jlgray.com/
121001 16:04 fraud in America
©2012 by Jack Spratt - All Rights Reserved