Wounded in life, I seek to staunch the wounds of others . . . . --xoj

"Jack Spratt’s two centavo Guide to Redemption”
©2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

God's tapestry, all creation, my greatest value an attempt to live/love for: in gratitude, mercy, forgiveness, regardless of Age, Race, Creed, Gender, Gender Proclivities, or Generosity . . . seeking to make redemtion salvation & resurrection potential in all unique, precious, individual lives, human, plant, animal, world. . . .through words & images - Jack Spratt ... KISS

Tuesday, July 31, 2012


PTSD IS:
I help people as a way to work on myself, and I work on myself to help people… To me, that’s what the emerging game is all about. -- As quoted at "Baba Ram Dass in the realm of Visionary Artist Martina Hoffmann: in the end there’s only one spirit and one humanness" at Elephant Journal (9 October 2010)

120731 0459 death
Upon entry into volunteer service at hospice--I feel disinclined to name 'mine' since it is a universal choice of many. None more noble than those they serve or lower in the sense of Mother Teresa and Sr. McAuley or any Religious Sisters/Brothers at all. Their devotion to the poor. 

I had a dream the night before our first class, it astonished me as most of my dreams do. Visions too. 
It dealt with the funeral of a friend and I a 'civilian' was recruited from the congregation to give the homily unprepared. 

Pre Performance I strode the narthex shabbily dressed in street clothes disheveled stewing the various things I could say: He was near the end of his life an agent of the CIA in Cambodia had fathering a gaggle of red haired children with Cambodian faces. And I remembered him from elementary school, my second faze there having stayed back in the fourth grade, brilliant, a bit odd in appearance somewhat cartoonish like Howdy Doody but tall and lanky sans Uncle Bob. 

He collected his semen in a one gallon jug filled with wood grain alcohol proudly displayed amongst his young male friends -- always wondered -- did his mother know? His sister or our mutual Doris friend next door with the psychiatrist dad who I later sold a Martin Guitar to at list price. He seemed to enjoy my flimflam sales pitch perhaps it was worth paying 100% more than on 48th Street Manhattan.

He played the piano well and we'd formed a group of shorts, can't remember what I played then conversant with so many instruments--probably cornet. In order to better render our nascent talent we patronized a jazz club smokey dark and filled with adults -- how could we get away with our drink orders? I requested scotch like mom drank and another one or two asked for beer and Win. Well. He. Asked. For. Milk!? 

With aplomb or indifference we were served.

What's my point? Oh. Yes. Periodicity of my faith and death and all of that. Starting from now and going backwards: I think hospice should charge a tuition for the experience -- priceless -- since the congress of baboons & goats has decided to cut our budget another 10% while guaranteeing themselves congratulatory raises for killing the world's economy and extending their medial insurance to cover Happy Endings to tax payer sponsored elegant lunches with lobbyist. Especially The United States Catholic Conference of Bishops who sponsor the birth of children produced by rape and incest -- you  know I've addressed this subject before -- oh well I'm a shit head and redundant as hell.

Well. Hell. What do you expect me to say? That's 30% in three years! We are near shutting down the lights and heat at night using candles and matchbooks. The staff is finding more remunerative work flipping hamburgers while the professional whore politicians are covered until death that's when I get them.

Oh sweet Jesus on a moped with and iPhone talking not paying attention direction of travel; do I love to role play. Sometimes I'm Mary getting pregnant sans foreplay or penetration no fun at all. Other times I'm Judas, sometimes Job, but my favorite role is as Osiris who greets the dead upon their departure from life . . . and sometimes Isis or God depending upon my mood: who Judges whom and with what mercy? 

Or none!

At the first class my image, the experience of death, was no death at all, merely buried alive looking at the coffin top three inches from my nose in the dark forever. I never did deliver the homily covered in a fine film of sweat disheveled but awoke then wrote up my dream -- maybe someday I'll go back and read it -- this is from memory.

Well Jesus! Look at me now riding the Milky Way on my tricycle no handed! Ginning at, to beat the band of goats in hell below me.

©2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

detritus sins & virtues


Are 
we are 
we not the 
waste of God's 
dream of us the super-
fluous driving the event 
horizon forward or backward?
God remains the engine of the Universe 
and we the fuel or exhaust?! Virga fallen from 
a cloud like dream never inseminating life again or
are we merely like all the galaxies just one of trillions life vernacular forms a virus Ebola?


120731 0123 detritus sins & virtues
©2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

Monday, July 30, 2012


Grief sucks & then you die



PTSD is grief the genius of which is it must be dealt with
regardless of talent which does what it can 
and of indifference; it is merely ignorance and arrogance. 


To that end I lend you my current notes gathered across religion and science in faith received from the same source:


GRIEF:



A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it. --Alexandre Dumas ?


All we are asked to bear we can bear. That is a law of the spiritual life. The only hindrance to the working of this law, as of all benign laws, is fear. --Elizabeth Goudge


Anyone who limits her vision to memories of yesterday is already dead. --Lillie Langtry


Death not merely ends life, it also bestows upon it a silent completeness, snatched from the hazardous flux to which all things human are subject. --Hannah Arendt


Do not surrender your grief so quickly
Let it cut more deeply
Let it ferment and season you
As few human or divine ingredients can. --Hafiz of Persia


Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. --Dr. Seuss Theodor Seuss Geisel


Excess of grief for the dead is madness; for it is an injury to the living, and the dead know it not. --Xenophon


Finding a new normal . . .Kept it moving . . . to keep living . . . I win --Marvin Sapp


Grief and constant anxiety kill nearly as many women as men die on the battlefield. --Mary Bokin Chesnut


Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. --Mark Twain


Happiness is like those palaces in fairy tales whose gates are guarded by dragons: we must fight in order to conquer it. --Daphne Du Maurier


Happiness is not a possession to be prized, it is a quality of thought, a state of mind --Daphne Du Maurier


In order to go on living one must try to escape the death involved in perfectionism. --Hannah Arendt


It isn't for the moment you are stuck that you need courage, but for the long uphill climb back to sanity and faith and security. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh


It was the offspring of happy days, when death and grief were but words, which found no true echo in my heart. --Mary Shelley


Love comes unseen; we only see it go. --Austin Dobson


Many who have spent a lifetime in it can tell us less of love than the child that lost a dog yesterday. --Thornton Wilder


Mourning is not forgetting. ... It is an undoing. Every minute tie has to be untied and something permanent and valuable recovered and assimilated from the dust. --Margery Allingham


One does not ask of one who suffers: What is your country and what is your religion? One merely says: You suffer, that is enough for me.” --Louis Pasteur


Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss.


Out of difficulties grow miracles. --Jean de la Bruyere


Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated. --Alphonse de Lamartine


Soon we shall die and all memory of those five will have left earth, and we ourselves shall be loved for a while and forgotten. But the love will have been enough; all those impulses of love return to the love that made them. Even memory is not necessary for love. There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love, the only survival, the only meaning. 
--The Bridge of San Luis Rey (1927) --Thornton Wilder


Suffering raises up those souls that are truly great; it is only small souls that are made mean-spirited by it. --Alexandra David-Neel


The cure for grief is motion. --Elbert Hubbard


The loss of a friend is like that of a limb; time may heal the anguish of the wound, but the loss cannot be repaired. --Robert Southey


The mind that is wise mourns less for what age takes away; than what it leaves behind.. 
--William Wordsworth


The pain of love is the pain of being alive. It is a perpetual wound. --Maureen Duffy


There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state to another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life. --Alexandre Dumas or --Hafiz of Persia ?


There is something pleasurable in calm remembrance of a past sorrow. --Cicero 


To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others. --Anne Sophie Swetchine


We can never go back again, that much is certain. The past is still too close to us. The things we have tried to forget and put behind us would stir again, and that sense of fear, of furtive unrest... might in some manner unforeseen become a living companion, as it had before. --Daphne Du Maurier


What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us. --Emmerson & Thoreau


When we lose one we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when 
we loved not enough. --Maurice Maeterlinck {Belgian Philosopher, 1862-1949}


When you're feeling your worst, that's when you get to know yourself the best. --Leslie Grossman


You need not cry very loud; he is nearer to us than we think. --Brother Lawrence


©2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved  120730 0643 genius of grief

--Felicite Robert de Lamennais
“Conscience is a sacred sanctuary where God alone may enter as judge.”


120730 00:22 U&I
 1+1 = 1 since you are a mask & a self -- never really "what you see is what you get"
Leave mom, dad, Jane, Spot the dog, Amadeus the cat, the Church & The State outside they don't matter to your self--soul or consciousness inside 


God never minds about masturbation or imaginary lovers or how broke or broken you are since God is the best friend you'll ever know so long as you meet inside He will help vanquish the dragons there and in the end you will be endless just like your friend God


be still child and know your friend all along within you


amen


PS if you want a quick peek seek Rumi he knew best and remains generally better than most or simply more better it takes a long time to give virgin birth to your soul no quick fix pills or liquor but simple silence and respect for all who never though they have one a
soul


©2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

Sunday, July 29, 2012


120729 1418 ID

I dislike putting my face anywhere the Republican National Committee can use it for examination. Their intent is decadent. As is apparent to any thinking person. Their purpose using Focus Groups on Facebook principally, and attempts to disqualify the poor who in general have no car thus requiring no identity card.

I know that Lincoln was liberal and that was then true of The Grand Old Party. So it was probably a Democrat, conservative then, who profited by the Civil War having Lincoln killed before prosecution.

Clinton played a role in the current collapse of monetary values: credit default swaps. But G. W. Bush et all finished us off . . .

. . . .Pause return 18:21 this date

I tire more deeply now bored playing with the pickpockets who take lives, homes, the rest and all of us for their pleasure. To relieve my boredom I return to the garden of quotes and therein discover that The All addressed them as well. Even though I am more comfortable there I still have a long longing to die and never be noticed despite my cute name borrowed and sullied by so many.

We legion: we PTSD are at the nexus of life and will if healed heal the world though dying itself by the depredations of goats.

Sometimes I see my virgin fertile womb like mind & soul seeded by various sundry words sought in my boredom writing about politicians, CEO and wannabe's.

That is when I found: "When moral courage feels that it is in the right, there is no personal daring of which it is incapable." - Leigh Hunt and I stopped to glean a deeper sense of the person who spoke those words then cutting & pasting them into my quote diary; near and dear and close to my Journal Files . . . directory, folder or whatever it is now called. Hunt also lost a child and drew compassion from the experience instead of psychotic rage. Bye-the-bye expect more of that since our leadership shows no empathy for we the PTSD. Instead they have stolen our Social Security and continue to give themselves congratulatory awards of greater salaries and benefits while denying ours.

All of this became my afternoon's reality as truth. I saw on http://www.thefreedictionary.com/
today's word: scarecrow + definition, and realized that though I'd found the stuffed toy across the street near the wonderful Hispanic Baptist church whose worship I so enjoy hearing in my crib -- the one I used to call 'clown' was in fact a scarecrow to celebrate All Saints Day & Halloween, Usage: She was determined, therefore, to contrive as lifelike a scarecrow as ever was seen … so that it should begin its sentinel's duty that very morning.

Made sense to me. I then changed my avatar on CultureBook http://www.dailyliteraryquote.com/daily-literary-quote-share.htm . . . same old man in Pie Town New Mexico but less identifiable.

Ignore me, I am nothing, it is you who must begin to heal yourselves as I did? Had a great deal of help from friends and God.

©2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

120729 1141 coral snakes & goats

Given my former tinctures of paranoia regarding the THOUGHT POLICE, NSA, RNC, congress of baboons (now merely a herd of goats) Or the FBI who I believe assassinated Martin Luther King, Jr. True or untrue it no longer matters since like all institutions they remain sovereign unto themselves. And the deed is done; the prince of peace is slain. Google following my perusal of panties and adult women having sex with boys, etc. their principal claim to redemption being their advocacy of literacy and that is enough for me to forgive and use their services.

I simply no longer care since my sperm and marrow blood count, blood pressure and pleasures are accurately known and knowing this, and knowing that there is more invasiveness to come; so successful was Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden attack on the vanity of power at our expense -- do we soon expire becoming extinct.

I am no prophet simply an old and very sad man the loss of the Bride of My Youth, our children and the love affair I was too terrified of to continue.

No need to castrate myself since it no longer matters dying of old age and all the mysterious parts of the table of elements chemically added for profit by BIG AGRECULTURE, INC. Not to mention Exxon or GE. I think it no longer odd that they steal our money and lives and those of our children, our homes, cars, future, education; taught to perform vocational functions not to think -- since they Fucked The Pooch Big Time this time like last the last depression. Of course they lie cooking the books to legalize their theft. Speak to any average black woman, a parent alone, with several children in Englewood a section in Chicago or Darfur.

These remarks are motivated by the nicest thing I've ever heard. Upon entrance into hospice, last tour of duty and greeting a new medical staff member who looked oddly at me. I heard another beloved staff member say; "He's no ignorant Gringo." My memory was so overwhelmed I cannot accurately remember; did she say; "stupid, indifferent, selfish or egocentric?"

There is in our occidental tradition of death and resurrection -- only modestly different from the tradition of reincarnation -- a consequence that I know to be true; a separating of sheep's and goats. By nature I bless all I serve humbly regardless their choices in life since I no longer judge anyone even my brother who abused our father and stole my part of his estate. Stephen Norman Spratt is also called and introduces himself as Jack Spratt. My modest ambition is that if asked; are you Jack Spratt and he says yes. The person enquiring will fall down laughing because they'll remember him eternally as COMMANDER CHUCK E. CHEESE -- forgetting me.

I did not make him a goat. He did by choice, or Karma, or greed. I know he is a sexual predator and bigot having called my daughter a 'nigger' or something akin -- they had been best friends until then. How? Dad told me. I no longer wonder why she did not attend his wedding so near at the Navy War College in Newport Rhode Island.

I won't mind being buried alive with their, all the above assassin's, fecal matter in my mouth since they have already stolen our free will and ability to speak raping The Bill of Rights.

Instead I want to die consciously surrounded by coral snakes -- not goats. I have learned to die and am ambivalent about survival in this time and palace.

©2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

120729 0827 seek

it is silly to applaud prayer
since it is intended to invoke
the origin of us our evolution
& creation are not mutually
exclusive but attributable
to the same source and where
did creation come from? Who

Seek not the one great love you long for
become it and give it to everyone without
expectation for the gift's gratuity

I am amused by my misunderstandings since they are constant companions in the rock polisher of my mind. Becoming not gems but pebbles still fraught with imperfections.

I have no memory of dying; entering the common democracy of death wherein all conceits finally fall away. However I am curious about the many near death experiences leaving me alive.

Of the 6 & 60 Million I wonder why and what became of them after death by any reason, measure or kind.  Of Jews I know better their hearts than their laws finding in commentaries fictional or poetic more about God than what Jesus died to change.

Also by this curiosity I know Roman Catholicism better by priest and sisters/brothers religious than by Popes. Think not mass or mask but what truth lies behind the myths. Think Jesus entering His Mothers womb daily hour by hour all across the world. Think not of pleasure but of Joy!

Not your Bag or Thing? Well then children enter the soul within; discover not the mother or father or biological family of origin but the origin of the soul inhabiting your life. Feel the pain and fear, the suffering ignored or drugged with pleasures or addictions and finally know joy and love endless not orgasmic.

How do I know this? I see and feel and think and intuit the presence of who saved me clearly day by day and long to go towards the source more day by day.

Grow where you are planted as I have from Jesus my root but as mere water moving into the trunk and limbs this tree of life I see others of different definitions and discover not only tolerance but reverence for all life.

Be well be Adored remain silent i understand

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

120728 22:14 meaning

I see so deeply within myself.
Not needing my eyes, I can see everything clearly.
Why would I want to bother my eyes again
Now that I see the world through His eyes? --Rumi

The problem of my photographic career soon announced itself in the nascent days and months of working as photojournalist. Initially my vision/version of things was informed by a need to see things in an 'artistic, musical or sculptural' way. Meaning I had a preconceived set of notions into which I framed the action before me. Frame in this photographic case is significant since we as still photographer capture life within a single still frame excluding all else. And in the days of chemical versus digital there were no proofs until the entire process was completed. Pass/Fail

The shift became apparent soon after realizing that truth is stranger than fiction: my preconceived ideation advancing not the object/subject before me but my ego. Greedy for acknowledgement that I was worth attention or at least some small affirmation that I had value. I can be a vicious and rude person a defect I bridle with difficulty. Humility arose in the recognition that there was before me a truth I was employed to record. Thus the essence of my philosophy of truth became to be neutral and see what happened.

My initial intention was to write about what Rumi said " . . see the world though His eyes?" In once sense, to me profoundly so, he speaks of the concept and meaning of 'God.' Though in writing the previous sentence I recalled: 1 Corinthians 13, in which a mirror is mentioned coupled with the seeing of a child becoming fully mature. Without boast I've had many "Zen" moments the epiphany of being one thing exiting as another being. Simultaneously given my experience of such prior moment definitude knowing I "had it in the can, that's a wrap" I could quit the chaos and go home my assignment competed.

I fell blind when Randy, my son, was diagnosed and intuitively I knew he was to die. A witness to his sister's birth and obvious to me death soon arriving thereafter . . . about which I could not impose or inflict upon her mother . . . remaining silent. Brief aside I in old age know that forever have I treated women as God/Goddess based upon my lifelong estrangement from women. I was and remain a persistent little bastard and curious to boot. In my own way I skated through Johanna's birth brief life and death in custodial care; she had no brain beyond a wafer thin tissue lining her skull.

Whether recording light falling upon a child skipping rope or the numinous; there are two consciousness' observing one another and as Jung famously said that which sees is altered by the seen. Of the several attempts at a short story or novel I became conscious that the effort created characters who in turn created significant influence upon me attempting to depict their activities advancing the story line.

I am fascinated by warriors of the oriental military arts and use, for my own sense of what I'd do if confronted with threat or harm -- a relatively common experience since with a camera in hand I am savage -- a personal conviction that barking dogs are not my problem but the silent ones are.

Intellect is admirable but the other three functions desirable when confronted with death or God.

That is my summation of admiration for Rumi since he knew better God in real life than has ever been articulated via any other source of communication I know of. Inappropriate but I will confess I learned early on that the cartoon or graphic novel rendering of the Bible gave me a deeper sense then the reading of it. The process of my education is eclectic and various to a ridiculous extent.

This, what I've written is not about me, but you becoming we conscious, mindful and fearless in the this now chaos.

Curiosity is a form of greed but unlike addiction; unfulfilled; a vast emptiness it can be fulfilled as is obvious to me via Rumi's poetry. There is only one God known by various names and definitions knowable only when face to face. All institutions begin with an epiphany then die by attrition the greed of the administrators to protect the truth fixed and immutable. God is, to me very mutable and fluid, a comedian and dancer.

You can know and own everything material but if you do not know your soul you have nothing and fear the loss of that.


PS 120729 05:28

Upon arising I fell to wondering abut what I wrote above and looking at the environment of this new day yet to arise saw:

"I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong." --Abraham Lincoln

He is the first I understood as utterly self derived by educating himself and being what he was & remains; glorious.

The He of Rumi's reference is the final Judge of souls measured by things and those who in giving grow evermore to spill out the love received.

Amen

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

Saturday, July 28, 2012


120728 03:37 greed
What we need is more obscene greed right here in America --xoj


this date & day 10:35 attending to a week's worth of dishes, the months old laundry can wait -- I listened to NPR my broadcast news resource while washing and drying. I sense there is hope, controlling only myself, I sense in times of despair -- seldom -- that we must stand up and demand accountability. Have the Congressional record on the Web, who voted for what and then recall them by popular vote every time they fuck the pooch; BATTA BING! No more health care they deny us, jail terms for those who lied, confiscation of all property automatic homelessness. Recall all politicians with over $750,00o in current income. Take back America for, by, of, the People . . . too many new millionaires in the congress of baboons where did it come from?


“A man may fulfill the object of his existence by asking a question he cannot answer, and attempting a task he cannot achieve.” --Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.


Wish I could relax and read a book every time i do my mind fragments into stars the first few words
My paean to women of color not exactly inspired by the dream preceding it but at the moment of writing I began to sense what I'm about. What's happening to me is both expansive and extruding removing my ego since I think we're about to lose the world as we know it and the entire species we call human. Oh GOD! Hope I'm wrong don't want to wear the blood of innocents killed before their life or living hung on The Supreme Court Doors with their teddy bears stuffing falling out.


However you slice and dice the human condition as we know it now: 4 ways Meyer's-Brigs/C. G. Jung or 9 ways The Enneagram once you know your "Type" you can begin to balance it into equality.


My point being that while I've owned German Cars I still consider them wrapped in the flesh of Jews. At the moment I'm thinking they're wonderful thinkers plus a few like Goethe & J. S. Bach romantics but mostly excellent at building death machines like concentration camps and crematoria; not evil as such but merely imbalanced between all the functions possible to them and I've not invoked the four letter word so obscene NAZI 


Yet we of USa did the same thing with the native Americans from whom we stole their land, religion, food and are currently keeping them in concentration camps just like the NAZIs depriving them of education food water arable land enslaved by discrimination perpetually. It all stared with lunatic Puritans who hated Habeas Corpus just like the pervious Republican Administration . . . you know the guys who want your face to examine on Facebook or anywhere they can steal & use it in front of Focus Groups. So when ever I see an American anything I remember it best as covered in the flesh of African-Americans & Red Men who built this place along side Chinese immigrants think cars wrapped in black flesh and buildings with Indians Red in their bones and how many buried in the Hoover Dam.


I know this because I'm curious and nosy about everything WTF I'm a journalist unlike the propagandist FOX TV and anything Rupert Murdock touches Mr. Snark, Gloat and Smirk while he listens into the grief of mothers and fathers mourning a daughter raped, cut up in little pieces and buried somewhere unknowable.


Leadership is not do what I say, not what I do, it feeds the troops first and if nothing's left goes hungry. Leading by example -- Harry Truman comes to mind; "The Buck stops here." Dwight D. said to avoid what you are yet there you are with you pants at you ankles receiving what you need to get reelected; addicted to power indeed and practice.


I am nothing but a registered voter intending to return to no party affiliation since I know both sides of the isle complicit in economic terrorism.


My point is: Inspiration, what breaths me, is not poetry, quotes, novels or The Bible, but just listening to what people honestly say; laugh at and about. Coupled with what & why they are willing to die for. 


A report from Munchkin Land we're just Poor Fucking Civilians; your bosses' and were going to eat you for lunch . . . sometimes at role-play I'm Judas or Job just for fun.


© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved


120728 0128 4m&toni morrison

“Abundance doesn't follow giving until giving becomes its own reward.” --Jan Denise

beauty ain't gotts to be black yellow red or white tan or somewhere between but a flappen bright in da nights of eternity proudly ginormous as the universe her ass the broad side of a barn waggin back & forth like a Roller Derby Queen jus run over me a sparklen & she was black drank lotsa coffee blue black dat maumau in that lovely DMax way and asmilin at me the first in my life and I cna't  remember her name she loved me back but Danny Washington honkin on the Baritone Saxophone tole me boy don't go there it not time yet for you and black girs i let go my first love and looked elsewhere don gotts te be black to have soul boy just gots to love thats the origina of humanity made by God all big & BLACK an o mygod the eyes those Asian Indian girls in Small's Paradise and those manly dudes flash'n der rage makin a cinder of me in Harlem de garden of Eden full of JuJu jus
God's mojo holy mother of god you're BLACK!

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

Friday, July 27, 2012


120723 13:30 definitions

I use the word "God" as little as possible, since like the word love, both are incomprehensible to most of us. Yet obviously we all have faith in each word individually. Struggling to comprehend what is going on inside us when we feel the presence of either. Add to which there is the penchant of advertising to lie in order to get you or me or us to buy even that which kills us.

Too well acquainted with grief, my own and that of many others, of all ages, from children to those about to die. At a conference on grief I responded to a general question; "What is grief?" Since no one was forthcoming and in an attempt to move the dialog along I spontaneously raised my hand and said, "The loss of definition."

Death is an obvious trauma and equal to becoming a mate/marriage or living with someone else regardless of gender, birth, the trials and vicissitudes of childhood, 'yours' by birth or adoption.

Think anything that hip jacks you away from the center of your comfort zone. What is or was 'normal' turns upside down and inside out -- loss of child, marriage, limb, sight; you name it and will have to claim it because it is now your new truth.

In conversation with M we admitted that we knew in the first three weeks we had made a mistake; not unlike buyer's remorse. Thinking marriage was something we ought or should do in the culture of our breeding years.

The honeymoon was quickly over. Then began the earnest process of adapting to another system of though, feelings, intuitions and sensing begins. Were I an ordained priest/rabbi/minister knowing the couple in front of me asked me to marry them I'd begin with: Don't see each other for at least a month or longer. It's okay to meet for coffee, no more, and no sex of any kind. If living together separate for the same length of time.

Sex is comparable, at a certain age, as the instinct to keep breathing, eat or evacuate your bladder and bowels. It is normal and nothing to be ashamed of or guilty about. And any one or institution tells you otherwise: walk away, ignore that/them as your are free to ignore me.

It is you life, your body, your soul -- you know you have one? a soul I mean!

Your no should be NO
maybe no, maybe yes equivocal but -- EMPHATIC
your yes be YES!
And when the question is ambiguous without a yes or no answer that's when you run like hell. Don't let your greed rule your mind -- that is addiction meaning there is never enough.
Be honest transparent sincere.

Real love is a gift given without expectation of anything in return . . . expectation is slavery and that is what you make of your beloved . . . it defines them in ways unaccountable, irresponsible, needy greedy; a plea to define you in ways that will enslave you to them.
That is not love it is criminal theft of the other's life . . . real love fears nothing, is heroic and willing to negotiate a consensus, and speak truth to power.

"Man loves little and often, woman much and rarely."- Anonymous


Free men are aware of the imperfection inherent in human affairs, and they are willing to fight and die for that which is not perfect. They know that basic human problems can have no final solutions, that our freedom, justice, equality, etc. are far from absolute, and that the good life is compounded of half measures, compromises, lesser evils, and gropings toward the perfect. The rejection of approximations and the insistence on absolutes are the manifestation of a nihilism that loathes freedom, tolerance, and equity.
~ Eric Hoffer ~

Marriage and true friendship is serious business the consequences are astonishing and for better or worse for life. Bad is an unknown and can be catastrophic: your mate by whom you now define yourself and real life can fall ill, not want to fool around, contract AIDS, fall ill with Alzheimer's and die slowly over a period of twenty years.

I know because I am a hospice volunteer working in the clinical part. Since Medicare has been cut 30% in the past three years. They had no one to answer the telephone to forward calls to patients rooms. Being neither poo nor pee adverse I do more than I am legally allowed. It is not a right but a privilege and they have every right to kick me to the curb. Being a 24/7/365 care giving organization there are inadequate funds for telephone operators or Certified Nursing assistants to fill in the gaps

I have decided recently to be celibate for the rest of my life. It's bad enough to have a cat who when seeking attention sometimes lightly touches me to announce her want. At other times she lays across my keyboard or merely perches in front of the monitor. I love myself confidently knowing that otherwise I can't be bothered. I refuse to be since if I love myself I cannot use another merely for sexual pleasure or clean laundry. I don't want to be friends with benefits since that would abort my concentration. You see I used to think my attraction was lust but now know it as concern for her or his welfare -- I can and do leave -- carrying those I care about or love with me at all times. It's called continual prayer.

In the beginning, as in the end, marriage or relationships are a daily renewable bond; just as in love between humans & God.

And should either leave the other the work ahead is to redefine yourself now alone. To live fully loving yourself as that now.

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

Thursday, July 26, 2012


"You had no right to be born; for you make no use of life. Instead of living for, in, and with yourself, as a reasonable being ought, you seek only to fasten your feebleness on some other person's strength."
--Charlotte Bronte

if ever could i should i leave you now or in the latter future it will not be for the place of love you & i but simply crawling from deaths bed to die amongst rattlers, eating a train or at peace beneath the wheel of a Municipal Bus parked curb side where I belong; "CRUB YOUR DOG!"  What was that?  "A pumpkin! What me worry?"

Better yet I'll await the passing of an average citizen driving a ginormous vanity mobile otherwise known as a SPORTS UTILITY VEHICLE driving inattentively texting sexting or using the vibrant ring tone inserted between posterior and seat to Happy Ending -- Get Off!

Hopefully death will arrive but otherwise crippled maimed or for whatever remains of life? Quadriplegic or merely comatose I will haunt you eternally and infernally forever more neither of us dying but wishing we'd never been born. Have a nice life in your urban tank sanctuary buried alive in medical payments for those you disappear.

By what means or measures or ends must be employed to express my displeasure unquiet disease and fury that women are slaves never equal to men?

It has been said, by women of course, should men be able to conceive and give birth to children: abortion would instantly become a Amendment to the Constitution of The United States of America.

Along side the right to bear arms for random killings pleasure unarmed civilians and animals machine gunned in forest their homes. Death too to me is a sacramental part of the holiness of life a contractual bond signed at birth. Remember the foot print on your birth certificate?

Or are you a member of the most forceful lobby in the congress of baboons, second only to Exxon, The United States Catholic Council of Bishops; or are you all Cardinals? Now endowed to subvert with your ideology that all life is sacred even if conceived by brothers, Uncles and Fathers to say nothing of rape by AIDS addled drug addicts? Retroactively aborting the divinity of women?

Think about the Mormons example.

With what grace do you bribe the legislators to betray women their Human Right of Choice?

In so far as I know from the censored & vocationally limited public school education. And the now castrated World Wide Web. The only hope of a free and complete education for the ignorant who bombed our Cathedral of Greed on 9/11 -- Let me see now the color of your money or sanctions. At best I remember the clause SEPARATION BETWEEN RELIGION & STATE.

I make neither threats or promises since I sense, think, feel and intuit:  the Author of US makes judgements only at the time of death terrifying to me. What you lay up or loose will and can disappear all of us.

. . . an after though: Though they may at one time have employed corporal punishments what Sister Religious ever raped a child? Never, of course.

Beloved tend your soul's garden well, knowing or learning that, all growing things are both female and male in collaborate beloved of God. No man made of woman or God is more equal than who created you.

120726 08:00 Charlotte Bronte © 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved



120726 05:29 news

At times perused
tears of laughter & sorrow
intermixed from word to paragraph to page
the truths portrayed published of television news never 
good Fox of course not ever since it is merely propaganda 
shouted for the enchantment of those seeking confirmation 
their conceits of selfishness amused & i at the sight the logo chortling 
begins perhaps Mr. Rupert Murdock would be better mooning me perpetually?

Larger Fish to fry our deaths by spurious/felonious elements Incorporated never
ought or thought proper to belong in our seas, food, air, especially drinking water which without we have not life. None what so ever. Drink Coca Cola & die or at the very least the next generation born sterile little girls with penis noses and boys with breast wearing mommies panties gleefully awaiting their first menses:  pads or tampons?

Surely when WE THE PEOPLE
-- serfs one & all are gone those who remain 
the KINGS OF INCORPORATION -- THIEF & DEATH, INC. can use their children
become cockroaches as guinea pigs crawling the gray gardens left over in ashes

Greed is good but never blest unless for the commonwealth of life; think Karma instead of redemption --  tolerance not prophet or profits 

"The ink of the scholar is more sacred than the blood of the martyr." --Mohammed

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved




120726 02:21 runes of grief

"Whether they give or refuse, women are glad to have been asked." --Ovid

Seasons come & go stitching night with short then quarters and half's the longest stitch:

Death

Yet death has no dominion never lost our memories left behind we beloved grieving our Beloved's departure a vision of immortality in real time measured

Rejoiced

With time our grief becomes reconciled life’s true grit to live another day then the next wounded suffering not . . . by our grief are we redeemed

Many my deaths all consoled by a friend who answers queries with whispers in death’s sleep

Short 

Each rest soon arisen like a child Angelic saved by He who in flesh walked whole/holy a man crucified never left Still walking talking weeping and joking ever blessing He is kind the servant King who may judge us as fools or wise what we give/gave to the least amongst us the meek

Inherit 

That He should bother with or be Brother to me is astonishing beyond definitions applied by others who would capture Him to define exclusively the Who He Is since he can be she or nothing at all for his friends & children dying again

Arising

A new born sun all the days of our lives Glorious & for him I’d Thankfully be anything anonymous an apple a snake a tree Never a ruler of men taking free will & choice away from we the children of God entombed in wombs of stone the laws of men merely make more criminals by blaspheme their greedy childish ways mockery of providence

“Neither can the wave that has passed by be recalled, nor the hour which has passed return again.” --Ovid

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

Wednesday, July 25, 2012


120725 16:28 men

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will (suffice.) be enough.” --Meister Eckhart (c. 1260 - 1328) was a German philosopher, mystic, and theologian.

Don’t know why Stormy Weather . . . strange here in South Central New Mexico: the monsoon season. Skies are magnificent heat lingers longer into the night . . . yet I’m getting bored with the noise of fans and swamp coolers running all the time longing for cool all the time.

Long time ago I read Sir Kenneth Clark on Nude versus Naked: a thumbnail from my memory: Nude is majestic magisterial and Naked is ashamed to be human. In either or any case in the locker room I sense the future will be well since us old farts and the young bucks are honest about caring for it. Contrary to Pharmaceutical adverting, lies, we laugh about ED, present, past or future.

Dad being hung like a horse, mule and something else altogether -- I am lamentably not -- was insistent that I parade nude before him aboard ships in lieu of his wife who he married same age as myself. I’ve said enough about her elsewhere: see Cmdr. = Commander Chuck E. Cheese.

My point being there is a couple absent for a time on a cruise. He said, when queried about his foxy wife, who suggestively resembles Elizabeth Taylor. I once HER briefly had access to passing swiftly by a press ambush. A woman with balls moving like my mom; look out! We discussed cruises and swapped tales regarding cruise guides.  We dad and me, or I, were lecherous together or apart attacking any woman regardless of age one replied, “You naughty naughty boys want to see my stocking tops?” The odd part was that I sensed eventually after molesting her companion with my eyes and mouth came to conclude they were very good friends sleeping together in the same suite. PC indicates one never asks about wives or husband since so many like boys or girls or girly boys better.

Or the other way around?

I loved him so yet only realize now more so since he’s gone not coming back. I was furious with him since he seldom knew how to say “I love you” to me from infancy onwards to those trips when we became friends. And only now, well I lie -- healing being a process; a winnowing out the wheat from the chaff, no magic bullets ever last . . . he never loved himself . . . so my lifelong efforts were tears upon sand and stone the garden of his consciousness. Same with mom. So my “I love you” was spurious; a plea for them to love me. Never happened until now when I can say with apprehension and conviction that love is a gift freely given without expectation of a reply.

A gift that freely given knows no cynicism or skepticism or Nihilism and indifference,--i.e., that modern man has no goal, no aim, no ideals . . . then you will know you really love yourself and are no longer dependent on the definitions of others your worth. Criticism destructive is unknowing ignorance the obverse is loving of both the giver and receiver. Or. For me at least a better understanding of Jesus saying love your enemy since in doing so is to acknowledge and accept being human and of equal needs

I told M in the pool, “My mother was a Bigot about sex” to which she replied, “All women were more of less so in that generation.” The she started telling about wearing 3 and/or 5 inch heels and I grabbed the water weights to hide my erection. She knows me better than I know myself and merely laughed; both for about and off our love affair asexual. When I confessed my penchant for suicide she replied her intention was always to run away, then that most people are suicidal covertly & here I extrapolate that we PTSD victims are marginally closer than even myself then for a long long time until she saved me. I still smoke cigarettes a long slow ridiculous and costly suicide. When dad suggested that i “man up” and quit. I replied “I don’t think so” He then said, “well you’ll only have to come back and do it all over again.”

? : ?

I’ve done it again speaking of M inappropriately she’ll kill me for it someday soon. It is, this I write, not for me or her but for all of us our love affair with ourselves and then all creation. What we kill, kills us, our ability to love ourselves. Love always is the greater power. All else being merely a pissing contest between little boys who were never loved as infant, boy, adolescent or man. Only very fearful people seek political power and I know the one in the White House isn’t one. Exasperated but not fearful of anything or anyone just like me. There is not anyone or any thing that I envy in the Universe not even God.

Confession is good for the soul it begins inside admitting then accepting the truth, all of it, of yourself and then we grow to love our selves. Possibly, perhaps, it is grotesque for me to unravel the viscera of me and yo yo my soul in front of you?  But it was the only way I discovered I had one; a soul that is. God is the best councilor the other recourses are okay but he does it better and it lasts for ever. Just ask and receive.

. . . Heaven’s Gate is within you and always open for those who seek mindfully . . . so . . . it’s not who you know or blow or from whom you receive praise or money but how well you know yourself that will redeem you in love by the lover of us all -- Even Johns.

 120725 07:13 eric hoffer
"Free men are aware of the imperfection inherent in human affairs, and they are willing to fight and die for that which is not perfect. They know that basic human problems can have no final solutions, that our freedom, justice, equality, etc. are far from absolute, and that the good life is compounded of half measures, compromises, lesser evils, and gropings toward the perfect. The rejection of approximations and the insistence on absolutes are the manifestation of a nihilism that loathes freedom, tolerance, and equity."

"The wise learn from the experience of others, and the creative know how to make a crumb of experience go a long way."

--Eric Hoffer

In addition to Louis L’Amour one one of the most prolific author's in history. My understanding is that Hoffer's estate remains 70 feet long, top to bottom, filled metal shelves packed with his notebooks unread as yet. There is not enough of eternity for me to read those whom I love. And of Hoffer's "The wise . . . " it allowed me to inhabit by affirmation my own style of learning. In retrospect I sense my parents purchased my high school degree--the only degree I have--a forgery in Harlem, New York <:) xoj

120725 15:24 for Kathleen Maher
without credentials except for the wounds in my heart -- as Rumi might say or possibly said -- is to become sovereign in the Self who writes. His, Rumi's love shows as does yours, forget how, finding the why to write; the heart knows the brain is merely seven pounds of tofu. I am too old to consider something the implied length of a novel and have therefore no inclination to do so though should I live a few more years I might. I have empathy for but no sympathy for myself. Let this humble collection slowly expanding as I find them be a referent point for idle moments of doubt . . . may I be a surrogate father to you? It would be a pleasure to share my sense of teaching to see what you're looking at.

Writer's Quotes

088. How to Write a Chinese Poem
A well-known Japanese poet was asked how to compose a Chinese poem.

"The usual Chinese poem is four lines," he explains. "The first line contains the initial phase; the second line, the continuation of that phase; the third line turns from this subject and begins a new one; and the fourth line brings the first three lines together. A popular Japanese song illustrates this:

Two daughters of a silk merchant live in Kyoto.
The elder is twenty, the younger, eighteen.
A soldier may kill with his sword.
But these girls slay men with their eyes.

"A poet should leave traces of his passage, not proofs. Traces alone engender dreams." ~ René Char
"A true poet does not bother to be poetical. Nor does a nursery gardener scent his roses." --Jean Cocteau
"A writer should write with his eyes and a painter paint with his ears." --Gertrude Stein
"All my life I’ve looked at words as though I were seeing them for the first time.” --Ernest Hemingway
"All slang is metaphor, and all metaphor is poetry." --G. K. Chesterton
"Art is the triumph over chaos. --John Cheever

"Art, though, is never the voice of a country; it is an even more precious thing, the voice of the individual, doing its best to speak, not comfort of any sort, but truth. And the art that speaks it most unmistakably, most directly, most variously, most fully, is fiction; in particular, the novel.”
--Eudora Welty in On Writing

"All good books are alike in that they are truer than if they had really happened and after you are finished reading one you will feel that all that happened to you and afterwards it all belongs to you: the good and the bad, the ecstasy, the remorse and sorrow, the people and the places and how the weather was. If you can get so that you can give that to people, then you are a writer.”
--Ernest Hemingway

‘And the words slide into the slots ordained by syntax, and glitter as with atmospheric dust with those impurities which we call meaning.’

Before the words slide into their slots, they are just discrete items, pointing everywhere and nowhere. Once the words are nested in the places ‘ordained’ for them — ‘ordained’ is a wonderful word that points to the inexorable logic of syntactic structures — they are tied by ligatures of relationships to one another. They are subjects or objects or actions or descriptives or indications of manner, and as such they combine into a statement about the world, that is, into a meaning that one can contemplate, admire, reject, or refine.” --Stanley Fish on Anthony Burgess sentence from his 1968 novel Enderby Outside
“As I walk, I construct perfect sentences that I cannot remember later at home. I don’t know if the ineffable poetry of those sentences derived from what they were or from their never having been (written).”  --Fernando Pessoa
“Because this business of becoming conscious, of being a writer, is ultimately about asking yourself, How alive am I willing to be?” --Anne Lamott
"Begin with an individual and you find that you have created a type; begin with a type and you find that you have created — nothing.” --F. Scott Fitzgerald
"Breathe in experience, breathe out poetry.” --Muriel Rukeyser
COLBERT: What does it take for a celebrity to make a successful (children’s) book, what do I gotta do?
SENDAK: You’ve started already by being an idiot. That is the very first demand.
"Don’t ever write a novel unless it hurts like a hot turd coming out.” --Charles Bukowski
"Fiction is a lie, and good fiction is the truth inside the lie.” --Stephen King
"Fiction that adds up, that suggests a ‘logical consistency,’ or an explanation of some kind, is surely second-rate fiction; for the truth of life is its mystery.” --Joyce Carol Oates in The Journal of Joyce Carol Oates: 1973-1982
"First, there must be talent, much talent. Talent such as Kipling had. Then there must be discipline. The discipline of Flaubert. Then there must be the conception of what it can be and an absolute conscience as unchanging as the standard meter in Paris, to prevent faking. Then the writer must be intelligent and disinterested and above all he must survive. Try to get all these things in one person and have him come through all the influences that press on a writer. The hardest thing, because time is so short, is for him to survive and get his work done.” --Ernest Hemingway
“Every great poem is in itself limited by necessity, — but in its suggestions unlimited and infinite.” -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
"Good fiction is made of what is real, and reality is difficult to come by.” --Ralph Ellison
"I can't write a book commensurate with Shakespeare, but I can write a book by me."--Sir Walter Raleigh
"I don't write for children. I write --- and somebody say, 'That's for children!' I didn’t set out to make children happy or make life better for them, or easier for them." --Maurice Sendak
“I feel love for all this, perhaps because I have nothing else to love ... even though nothing truly merits the love of any soul, if, out of sentiment, we must give it, I might as well lavish it on the smallness of an inkwell as on the grand indifference of the stars.” --Fernando Pessoa
"I have been nothing ... but there is tomorrow." --Louis L'Amour
"I never thought of myself as a writer, but the simplest thing seemed to be to put a piece of paper in the roller and start typing." --Cynthia Friedman
"I too must attempt a way by which I can raise myself above the ground, and soar triumphant through the lips of men. ." --Virgil
“I write to define myself — an act of self-creation — part of my process of becoming.” --Susan Sontag
“If I write what I feel, it's to reduce the fever of feeling. What I confess is unimportant, because everything is unimportant.” --Fernando Pessoa
"If life had a second edition, how I would correct the proofs." --John Clare
“If you wish to be a writer, write.” --Epicurus
"Listen, then make up your own mind.” --Gay Talese
“Literature is the art of writing something that will be read twice; journalism what will be grasped at once.” -- Cyril Connolly
"Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal.” --T. S. Eliot
“In the ordinary jumble of my literary drawer, I sometimes find texts I wrote ten, fifteen, or even more years ago. And many of the seem to me written by a stranger: I simply do not recognize myself in them. There was a person who wrote them, and it was I. I experienced them, but it was in another life, from which I just woke up, as if from someone else's dream.” --Fernando Pessoa
"Life resembles a novel more often than novels resemble life." --George Sand
"Personality is everything in art and poetry." --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
"[Pared-down prose] is a real loss, not because we necessarily need more Jamesian novels but because too often the instruction to ‘omit needless words’ (Rule 17) leads young writers to be cautious and dull; minimalist style becomes minimalist thought, and that is a problem.” --Adam Haslett
“Oh love will make a dog howl in rhyme.’ --John Fletcher
“One writes out of one thing only — one's own experience. Everything depends on how relentlessly one forces from this experience the last drop, sweet or bitter, it can possibly give. This is the only real concern of the artist, to recreate out of the disorder of life that order which is art.” -- James Baldwin
"Playing around with symbols, even as a critic, can be a kind of kiddish parlor game. A little of it goes a long way. There are other things of greater value in any novel or story… humanity, character analysis, truth on other levels, etc., etc. Good symbolism should be as natural as breathing… and as unobtrusive.” --Ray Bradbury
"Poetry is all that is worth remembering in life." --William Hazlitt
"Poetry is the art of uniting pleasure with truth." --Samuel Johnson
“Poets are never young, in one sense. Their delicate ear hears the far-off whispers of eternity, which coarser souls must travel towards for scores of years before their dull sense is touched by them. A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience. (Sr.)” --Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr,
"Say all you have to say in the fewest possible words, or your reader will be sure to skip them; and in the plainest possible words or he will certainly misunderstand them." --John Ruskin
The impetus towards more personal, more autobiographical writing, dates back at least a century and a half before Life Studies. In February 1797 Samuel Taylor Coleridge wrote in a letter to Thomas Poole: "I could inform the dullest author how he might write an interesting book — let him relate the events of his own life with honesty — not disguising the feelings that accompanied them." --Samuel Taylor Coleridge (poet)
"The final belief is to believe in a fiction, which you know to be a fiction, there being
nothing else. The exquisite truth is to know that it is a fiction and that you believe in it willingly.” --Wallace Stevens in Opus Posthumous: Poems, Plays, Prose
"The greatest thing a human soul ever does in this world is to see something and tell what it saw in a plain way. Hundreds of people can talk for one who can think, but thousands can think for one who can see. To see clearly is poetry, prophecy and religion, all in one." --John Ruskin
"The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shockproof shit detector. This is the writer’s radar and all great writers have had it.” --Ernest Hemingway
"The poet doesn't invent. He listens." --Jean Cocteau
“The poet is the priest of the invisible.” --Wallace Stevens
"The problem with fiction, it has to be plausible. That’s not true with non-fiction.” --Tom Wolfe in Advice to Writers
"The reason that fiction is more interesting than any other form of literature, to those who really like to study people, is that in fiction the author can really tell the truth without humiliating himself.” -Eleanor Roosevelt in The Autobiography Of Eleanor Roosevelt
"The writer is not…an all-powerful architect of our reading experience. The writer guides the way we imagine but does not determine it. A film begins with a writer producing a screenplay. But it is the director who brings the screenplay to life, filling in most of the details. So it is with any story. A writer lays down words, but they are inert. They need a catalyst to come to life. The catalyst is the reader’s imagination." --Gottschall
"There isn’t any symbolysm [sic]. The sea is the sea. The old man is an old man. The boy is a boy and the fish is a fish. The sharks are all sharks no better and no worse. All the symbolism that people say is shit. What goes beyond is what you see beyond when you know.” --Ernest Hemingway
“To have opinions is to sell out to yourself. To have no opinion is to exist. To have every opinion is to be a poet.” --Fernando Pessoa
"To read a poem in January is as lovely as to go for a walk in June." -Jean Paul
“To write is to forget. Literature is the most agreeable way of ignoring life. (Music soothes, the visual arts exhilarates, the performing arts (such as acting and dance) entertain. Literature, however, retreats from life by turning in into slumber. The other arts make no such retreat— some because they use visible and hence vital formulas, others because they live from human life itself.
This isn't the case with literature. Literature stimulates life. A novel is a story of what never was, a play is a novel without narration. A poem is the expression of ideas or feelings a language no one uses, because no one talks in verse.”) -- Fernando Pessoa  ―The Book of Disquiet
"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.” --Mark Twain
“We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection.” --Anais Nin
"Writing is like getting married. One should never commit oneself until one is amazed at one's luck." --Iris Murdoch
“Writing is like paying myself a formal visit…” --Fernando Pessoa
“Writing is not a serious business. It’s a joy and a celebration. You should be having fun with it. . . ” " . . I learned to write by writing. I tended to do anything as long as it felt like an adventure, and to stop when it felt like work — which meant that life did not feel like work." --Ray Bradbury
"Writers write to influence their readers, their preachers, their auditors, but always, at bottom, to be more themselves." --Aldous Huxley
"Write something, even if it's just a suicide note." --Anonymous +f
"Writing, when properly managed (as you may be sure I think mine is) is but a different name for conversation." --Laurence Sterne
"Yes, I have tricks in my pocket, I have things up my sleeve. But I am the opposite of a stage magician. He gives you illusion that has the appearance of truth. I give you truth in the pleasant disguise of illusion.” -Tennessee Williams in The Glass Menagerie
"You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.” --Saul Bellow
"You should never read just for ‘enjoyment.’ Read to make yourself smarter! Less judgmental. More apt to understand your friends’ insane behavior, or better yet, your own. Pick ‘hard books.’ Ones you have to concentrate on while reading. And for god’s sake, don’t let me ever hear you say, ‘I can’t read fiction. I only have time for the truth.’ Fiction is the truth, fool! Ever hear of ‘literature’? That means fiction, too, stupid.” --John Waters in Role Models

120725 0403 sometimes

The "myth" of Sisyphus
At times I'm the rock
other times I'm the sand
in my mouth as the rock rolls over me
again & again it's play for me to be played with

Beware of me I am devious and love being so
Since in time my best teacher the torturer dear old Mom
I could beguile and confuse her smirking inside as I say of others so I was and still am Mr. Gloat & Smirk the jerk!

Why 'Jerk'? Well what I can I say of or about myself? 1st is the simple fact that I adore my perceptions of people places and things . . . He was from Arkansas looked like the Sling Blade victim and would say to me "I can strip you and dick you so fast you'll never know it happened" It was a mantra of his said at lightening speed and I was then at eighteen modestly or moderately offended not knowing why? But at that I've been hit on by more men then women a lamentable circumstance though out my "life?" And now that it draws nigh this death of mine I have no fear since it is not theory but experience that the Author of me is greater than anything I describe and at that I still at night walk amongst the stars kicking solar systems with my bare toes 2nd I am of course completely insane like Jonathan Winters our subtle kindness making people laugh at me he or themselves is our game 3rd The devil's got nothing on me not even god my playmates in the sandbox of eternity 4th I love a woman so hard that I might eat her alive and then she'd be no more a nothing but a previous dream of ecstasy 5th I misapprehend even the simplest of parables seeing things never intended but discovered and digested as something else . . . perhaps I'm the swine eating myself? 6th I would contend with God for my child's lives even the one gone despising me but perhaps maybe not I aggrandize myself since I'll never know loving my ignorance 7th I am swifter than the particle accelerator but it is impossible to take a self portrait of me zooming so I traffic in the faces of others those I know better as scribbled upon by Father/Mother God and I without boast can enter the soul of you pull your spine pick my teeth and put it all back together and you won't know what happened unit the images spit out of the slot as you part the black curtains of Granny Smith's nickel masturbator of Tom Swift, Dad and me laughing in the mercantile penny arcade the cancer of consumption we've become the Hardy Boys, Inc. selling death wholesale who cares? 8th my favorite scenario The Gong Show the guy with the plate glass his lips pressed against the megaphone making farting noises like all politicians like my baby half-brother Commander Stephen Norman Spratt whom I early on simply out of intuition and sensing and feeling began  thinking of him spontaneously as The Great Commander Chuck E. Cheese the wolverine of greed who can survive on the toe cheese in your eyes 9th Station when I receive you in Hades I'll give you very special assignments a tuition for which though you stole mine, my son's, my daughter's you will never end the payments for 10th station a sophist am I trained by mom's random attacks you never knew her did you? I'm worse. No geek am I biting the heads of chickens but something else biting your head off and putting it back so fast you'll think of Woodstock an epic of child's play or merely you da mouse & I da cat why because I like being the mouse and you da cat.

No more stations of the cross you crossed me and I adore fucking with you have a nice eternity OFU! well maybe it should be OGFU? In closing I remember calling Randy 'you little fart' to which he eventually said "what say Big Fart!?" You my little shit Commander Stephen Norman Spratt the minutia of mouse shit do not deserve to live. . . .at the very least you should change your name to Mr. Me a Putz

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

Tuesday, July 24, 2012


120724 22:05 more on quotes

Of the several parameters I have neglected to post regarding quotes. Most significant to me at least is the issue of derivation/attribution: by female or male, race, creed, time, geography, and what is universal to the human experience in terms of flesh and blood, the mechanics of life none of these categories are relevant since all touch upon the eternal verities.

e.g. The Ten Commandments were never Hebrew but from the time of Gigamesh long before their annotated time; by five thousand years. And at that they were drawn from a collective wisdom passed orally forward.

Personally I’ve broken all save for the bit about, “Do no murder” at least not yet. I for one am fascinated by why we do what we do and have come to the conclusion that one Pope in particular saw fit to give dispensation regarding murder for what why and whom? My cursory knowledge is that the murder of millions upon millions was loosed at his choice. Essentially around the time of The Crusades. Not exclusively Buddhist but it works for me: All land is holy. But in this instance someone took a great notion to liberate the “Holy Land” and proceeded to pillage, rape, mutilate and burn to the ground that they then thought foreign. Jews of every and all descriptions, Semites who may or may not have been:

The Crusades were a series of religious expeditionary wars blessed by Pope Urban II and the Catholic Church, with the stated goal of restoring Christian access to the holy places in and near Jerusalem. Jerusalem was and is a sacred city and symbol of all three Abrahamic faiths, Jews, Christians and Muslims.

Bad choice.

Bad religious people are a terror and politicians giving lip service to God are merely demigods or simplistically legendary in their own minds (a minor oxymoronic remark!?) and are a scourge of the entire population of the earth then and now and in between. Being control freaks and anal retentive as well they tend to favor and eye-for-an-eye. Which Jesus died to prove otherwise but even that happened between five to seven thousand years before He ended the waste and terror of death.

Recently rediscovered & applicable to myself:

"Analysis kills spontaneity. The grain once ground into flour springs and germinates no more."


"Is all my scribbling collected together- my correspondence, these thousands of pages, my lectures, my articles, my verses, my various memoranda- anything but a collection of dry leaves? To whom and for what have I been of use? And will my name live for even a day after me, and will it have any meaning to anyone? An insignificant, empty life! Vie Nulle!" --Henri Frederic Amiel

You see if it weren’t for quotes I'd be more of an idiot than I already am. Public School was completely wasted upon me; can’t diagram a simple sentence no how.

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved