I am neither this name I publish under, nor the thoughts of my of vastly self educated mind, or obligated to my teacher who is . . . thanks to Coleman Barks (poet & Rumi) . . . not called “God” but is known to all creation by a plethora of titles my favorite being the all, should I capitalize? It would be atypical of me since I call the all my beloved my husband/wife/pet/child/the sunrise and set the moon the stars and now i’m weeping . . .
Can I go on? Yes. You see I play The Passion Play over and over and this next Christmas with or without M or Annie and me will be the best Christmas ever for I know because the Bible told me so that my children are in the arms of The All in whose care they occasionally surface smiling at me with the eyes of others regardless of race, creed, gender or heaven not forfend for all love is equal and blest by the all boys with boys, girls with girls, or girls with dogs, boys with sheep, it is all longing for The All.
She is glorious a grandmother looking, to me, like the Virgin Mary, ripe and fecund at a apogee age. Despite having only one testilce now if I had four I’d have fewer balls than she and oh dear God do I admire that in a woman even if she looks nothing like thee. Seldom there at water aerobics last I saw her the time before this I annotate she entered the pool rigid and immediately I felt her pain vicariously extrapolated through my eyes not my spine. I am not only a man of a certain age who still can become erect but also entertain the ideal of bedding her in wedded or unwed bliss. Having offered to castrate myself in order to proclaim my love for M this may or maynot be disloyal or infidelity since we seem married like siamese twins conjoined by head and heart yet I have no jealousy of her loving Oscar or Nazoni Our celibacy is by choice since we could fall so far into one another, at least could I? Yes! Of Course. Celibacy is a choice to be for others gender neutral . . . yet being human we celibates fail and are seldom perfect as is no life lived and some who fall in love with a child knowing not how else to express that love like Michael Jackson fall easily prey to public opinion or like myself with mom knowing not how or why I loved her as i did and do though she virtually castrated me at twelve I still lust for M and/or the woman with two daughters raised alone her husband fun/run off with a younger less -- forgive me girls-- balls.
Now if she or M arrived at my door sans clothes or in bathing costumes I would give pause to what I am about to say . . . I have faith that a woman is God more Woman than man and by God I am lead to be celibate so I can know both M & the grandmother so foxy I nearly die being near either both singly or otherwise together heaven forfend!
Forgive my perversion into salacious carnal thoughts I am nothing if not transparently honest.
Tide Time Seasons and Reason wait for no one who converses with God and of gender issues I am married to God more profoundly than the marriage I’ve know these past few best most joyous and peaceful years of my existence at least that part I am or for now be conscious of. Ever mindful of where my wandering wondering journey takes me moment to second heartbeat to breathe no longer concerns how many of any of the above are left . . . i fell into the possibility that I am the thief who asked Jesus forgiveness beside Him on another cross just like his him and i and the other thief all naked about to in death departed release our bladder and bowel functions no longer needing them.
Of women and men I’ve known a few good ones more women than men and of the Woman God is to me I adore more than myself then Annie then M and the other’s I’ve know including my mom.
Be careful out there, it is crowded and chaotic, if operating a motorized vehicle pay attention, being ever mindful that you are responsible for not simply your self but the self of all life around you: children and dogs with cellular telephone payling killing games instead of solitaire.
Illustration used in gratitude for and by i am . . . baglodijayadev @ my opera.com GOOGLE IT!
121005 20:30 MDT who i am is
©2012 by Jack Spratt - All Rights Reserved
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