Jack Spratt

120630 10:10

PTSD is ___________________________ : fill in the blank.

PTSD is "Enjoy how sweet, how thoughtful, how kind I'm being on your birthday. Because tomorrow it's back to the same old crap." --Melvin Helitzer: fill in the blank.

PTSD is “Oh, I'm so inadequate. And I love myself!” --Meg Ryan: fill in the blank.

PTSD is ___________________________ : pass it on and on and around see what happens

This represents and idea gleaned from collecting quotes today; can't remember the source or author but it still seems a good notion.

I have taken to getting up walking around taking the trash out etc. Just to keep from growing roots to my computer & chair. In addition I moved several small appliances and neatened the counter top a bit. While doing so I began to ponder the potential of offering myself as a lay councilor, free, to PTSD victims?

At times I sense, or intuit, I've little time left to live, long or short, this life now questioning: do I really want to give myself to others that extensively?

Returning to the computer, creative issues and chores, I began to rewrite today's post with the victims in mind very elaborately which I am now wondering about. I saved both versions the first with emphasis on M&m. Version #1 seemed complete and I, prior to chores, thought I might post it first. In version #2 I think I skewed the flow so extensively it no longer makes sense.

120701 09:41

. . . Can't remember what I did but the published version was rewritten – I keep notes now and the evolution in progress – an outgrowth of keeping a personal journal. A discipline I have reinvigorated to not lose completely the speculations and conjectures, confessions, obsessions and gaffs: all relevant. At least to me they are.

Privacy is destroyed/aborted, stolen by so many different sources of greed, to advertize things unnecessary. The measure of a soul is what it is inside, not so much what we say but do. And Adverting is licensed lying . . . some if not all, at the very least finest minds are aborted by slavery to others need to institutionalize selfishness making it the Law for All Mankind.

Those who keep hoard, those who give get more.

“God's creature is one. He makes man, not men. His true creature is unitary and infinite, revealing himself, indeed, in every finite form, but compromised by none.” --Henry James

"Tis man's perdition to be safe, When for the truth he ought to die" –Ralph Waldo Emerson

A random and wondrous thought, could it be that in collecting quotes; the wisdom of others now past and gone, that we who inhabit the now left behind, this small turning of infinity can equally find the future in those random and singular coincidences within which that personal the who we call “God” is found? And if this be so as Einstein suggests then synchronicity abounds, unfailingly, within each refracting self sought autonomously­--inwardly. As I was taught we all are unique as snowflakes flashing spectral all the light of THE ALL seen cast upon the darkest nights of our souls in love or agony.

Amen.

The I care in this is merely that I must choose between being a servant to a few while neglecting the many; my ego be damned.

In some sense my thesis is correct that PTSD is grief exactly like mine the childhood survived for what?

I adore words and authors too, originators who by fame acclaim and syntax, for various reasons singular, remain members of a chorus whose sole audience is genius best proclaimed in that their spirit remains quintessentially ever living . . . and so too those who remain disremembered, dismembered, spindled and mutilated they too are praised. And we broken and mended now will form the new governance blest for forgiveness.

Sadly I realize that I describe the man broken, passing a decade ago, to and for whom if allowed I will dedicate this to; O.B. Who knew Einstein with fondness. His passing from Alzheimer now epidemic in our land greater by population proportionate than anywhere else world wide a cancerous cost induced by chemical and genetic manipulation all aspects of our food chain.

'Mental Health' is not a category permissible in any political cost benefit analysis. Governance defined as free market capitalism, communism or socialism or any other defamatory definition other than collaboration is a ship of fools which we the survivors must turn around before we all drown. Could this be The New Ark populated individually one-by-one healed in this dying sea greed at flood tide?

Addendum an after action: 120630 06:22 trademark “Inwardly He was a She . . . “

Ah. Yes! I began with The Peaceable Kingdom a black & white illustration wood cut by Fritz Eichenberg and it was transformed from Jesus to the opposite of what Jesus would do, or so I imagined making it political in this time and frame of reference. I've kept the notes: each iteration for my own records what will eventually be put in the dumpster when I die a process I now laugh about.

Additionally, a fan not a devote of Meyers-Brigs & The Enneagram, Jesus was modeled as the ideal person balanced perfectly between male/female, all the functions aligned. However I am avid and fervent versus zealous or fanatical for you; your being whole, you must define Holiness on an interior basis and act upon that realization. In life no one is perfect even if having Jesus or Buddha implanted as an ideal.  120701 14:51 final © 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved