120924 00:00 solitude
"The whole conviction of my life now rests upon the belief that loneliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon, peculiar to myself and to a few other solitary men, is the central and inevitable fact of human existence." --Tom Wolfe
Unlike Mr. Wolfe with whom I share a friend of stellar personhood; I relish my solitude. Additionally I wonder at where are the affirmations and/or gratitude for joy experienced in the past?
That said my mind wanders upward toward the inevitable time when in death we are lonely? Or will it be otherwise; remembering the joys of life and return again.
Deeply in love I think-feel-sense-intuit that I am whole at last; at near seventy-two-years-of-age; equally balanced between woman/man plus the above primary titles for the way we process experience, vision, seeing, responding to our solitude.
Never alone in any sense since 'my' muse remains within and beside me. Remembering yesterday's ecstasy become today's poetry or prose; either or both mutilated or groaned. Such as it is, or was, or will be, this now is joy beyond accountancy.
Lamentably I destroyed and/or abandoned images of her: "Lucy-In-The-Sky-With-Diamonds" . . . in her eyes; as with all my work prior to 2000. Redacted and expunged those images remain within the engine of my mind better to remember than the object: a photograph.
Suicidal from birth until quite recently I remember her keeping me alive and for a time lending me a purpose to occupy my solitude, then and now, and long will I remember her for all of her a gift for which I am grateful in eternity. . . .Alone but never lonely happily so
© 2012 by Jack Spratt - All Rights Reserved
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