No. This is not goodbye for now. Or forever. Merely a message that you can: be well. At least better and more so day-by-day. However for now death is near, not dear, but a concern.
M is facing breast cancer and I've been given a reprive from own similar concerns. Though I've been advised not to smoke ciragrettes and drink so much coffee, I continue to breakfast on both. That is why I lost one testicle having survived a similar attack not so long ago.
We are not married though many, if not most seeing us together, assume we are. Also we do not collaborate on what-or-why I write; although when The Sphinx speaks I experience going through a Fool Processor; similar to the untility I use to mince onions, garlic and celery for Tuna Fish Salad for sandwitches. Were I actively conscious of Her here beside me much less ten miles distant . . . well guys . . . what can I tell you? I love her enought to cut my testiles off to make my love for her "safe."
We met during cardiac rehab; an ongoing issue for us both, however we've been able to supress hypertension though exercize and diet -- there is virtually no evidence of either Type 2 Diabiets, or bipolar behavior in me; equally attributable to the peace we know together or individually. The miricale. My miracle is that she knew me scuicidal, at first, glance and saved me; not simply from eating a train, scuicide by pillow or Cop; or as Jersy Kozinski (one of my all time favorite authors) did sitting in bathtube holding a white plastic grocerie bag by hand, no tape, suffocating himself. Of course he was nude since in death we void and deficate; easily washed away.
I have no sense of time. I had to check my atomicly regulated clock to see that it was indeed Sunday. It follows that I have no sense of the amount of time between us from the beginning to . . . the end? She knows and I now know that prayer works; so please pray for her. If not please keep her consciously within your thoughs and heart; works nearly as well.
M not only saved me from the beginning but also suggested: that I continue writing/keeping a journal, not be so very angry with parential abandonment issues (Mom did leave Janina and myself $250,000 each mostly lost to the economic turn-down starting with the previous Repblican adminstration) . . . She also recommended that I volunteer for hospice service. Her husband had been a patient of their "Field Care" not the clinic where I worked. He died at home July 9th at, or near the same hour, different year, ten years ago . . . it takes a long, long, long, time to grief and get about your life indepent of your lose. Mine took thirty-five to get over but never forgotten.
Recently I retired my service at The Mesilla Valley Hospice concerned about misunderstandings concerning copyright laws. I initially stated ceasation of all photographic service on a volunteer basis adding that I sensed myself become a liability therefore additionally would retire my volunteer work in the clinic as well. They said 'yes.' I do, when all things are considered, have a professional obligation to my peers as well as any amateurs who might follow me; that an artist has first rights to their property unless contractually surrendered.
Read from the following what you may or wish: Many are called, few answer and of those few who do, some find profit others, fewer still, find sevice to others a profitable reward beyond any wealth in comerice.
My life, as it is -- brief or long -- is a miracle attributatble to many I refuse to name. But unlike the minstry of Jesus, His pastoral miracles, mine have been process; no magic bullets, pills, books, or one individual. But at that mostly M . . . yet she as i are both children of Love . . . being of course what we sometimes call 'god.'
--Jerzy Kosinski
“It is not sex by itself that interests me, but its particular role in American consciousness, and in my own life.”
"The principle of art is to pause, not bypass."
"The principles of true art is not to portray, but to evoke."
Miraculous
120923 08:07 be well 4M
© 2012 by Jack Spratt - All Rights Reserved
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