My son Randy's all time favorite color was purple.
I was on the phone with Ron Wolfe; a friend well versed in Photoshop, seeking his advice on sharpening a moderately "fuzzy" image. While outlining, in general conversation, that morning's posts--at that instant an Lavender SUV passed my window.
I know, for most of the people I have conversations with, only those well versed in the Bible could understand. Currently there is only one with whom I'd dare suggest the impact upon me. It closely followed on the heels of what I'd just written/posted regarding my mother's forgiveness for losing her men's high school ring intended for a son: eliciting deeply painful memories; complete with scenarios replaying the sights, sounds, smells and feeling in depth and excruciating.
These events are not unusual to me. They are frequent. I note them but do not stop to annotate them as coincidental currency. Nor do I make it a practice to inform anyone about them.
I have held, for most of my adult life, a sense of the Bible, suggesting to me: Make no monuments: elect no King, Judge, Lawyer or Politician. Instead to form a personal relationship with what/who we call "God." . . .To trust/fear only God and make no other an authority.
Until encountering the individual I have in mind, this sense was covert and inadmissible to anyone I did not trust emphatically.
There were several incendiary remarks made by my first wife: up-front-and personal. To which I would now respond differently.
I could write a novel, play or epic poem out of what is passing through my mind's attention now. I decline the process. Abandoning it for what and how I reveal my process of becoming not merely 'sane' but more to suggest how you might achieve the same 'goal' or state of mind.
Authority of Church and/or State is expressed as power. Regarding which there are several problems: To make no apologies since to do so would--potentially--invalidate all previous laws. Or other statements reinforcing the authority of those in power.
Instead of detailing the nature of power published by Church & State as Law. I would direct your attention to the primary source of authority beginning with you parents; their life and times including any unusual or extreme views on what you should learn in order to survive and be a successful person.
This was the primary engine of my dysfunctions. In retrospect the problems I experienced taught me how to thrive in the presence of The Author of Life. God has no ego. I do, however, retain some pretence and delusions of being an author. It now seems that these motives are getting in my way. And the effort to encourage self knowledge: independence, fearlessness, creativity. Adding to the benefit of all others. Not merely to or for yourself.
No one individual or institution has the authority to enslave. All life is equal in its right to be what it is. Not defined by someone else as worthy or unworthy of life.
My experience of synchronicity is indicative of a "Higher Power." Someone vastly greater, more wise, merciful, forgiving and knowing than anyone I have ever read, known via the vast array of personalities, politicians, celebrities encountered in my profession of photojournalism. Sincerely I can count on the fingers of one hand those who impressed me. On the other hand I have not enough hair to count the ordinary, common, pedestrians that I celebrate in my memory.
In conclusion I have found within myself, and others, who I remember best as being those who give instead of take. I celebrate and love best my "Higher Power" dissociated from the many religions who use the name of "God" to destroy versus build the higher consciousness of responsible and participation in the commonwealth of all life. Each unique life form serves a special purpose necessary to the function of our world. However there are a few, the 1%, who would, and in a profound sense, have, destroyed the economy and environment. No part of life is to be despised or destroyed because it is inconvenient to the authorities or the remaining 99%.
The Ten Commandments is the property of no one religion and stem from oral history predating all known civilization. Creation continues in each of and is not exclusive to any one race, creed or gender. I will continue my argument for your creativity . . . the self you create from all the raw material of your life is the greatest art. The art of living fully; free from fear of anything. You become a gift to others versus a thief of all meaning and value.
120930 12:10 day after virgin rebirth
We all suffer from life.
No exceptions allowed.
Equally, or more importantly, is happiness or joy.
My experience is that 'happiness' is more money, a new puppy, car, home, love affair or hoarding more of the same. Joy is the ongoing transformations from happiness to trust, friendship and tenured confidence. And in loss the healing of grief. Celebrating that it happened, the joy lost, at all. Sufficient.
In my own experience. The failure to grow was essentially a repeat of prior failures. To achieve wisdom I had to take responsibility for the all my former relationship failures. The balance point between failure and success cannot be measured by anyone other than myself. Love is given, sometimes received/returned, but my sense now is that love is my gift to another regardless of age, gender, creed without need for acknowledgement. . . .Praise, acknowledgement or repayment.
In recent events, just these past few days, I've come to recognize that my love for my parents; especially mother; was okay, received and acknowledged many years after her death. The same may be true of my father but I have nothing beyond his telephoning me, moments before his death, to say goodbye.
I have been unable to ask for anything from a woman because of my difficult and long suffering relationship between mother and myself. What I recorded about her high school ring yesterday was a miracle healing my dependence upon--the giving of all--power of life and death--to a woman.
I have a friend I call M. Who to me is the greatest love I've ever known in seventy-two years of living. She is nominally older than myself and though I told her long ago I wanted to make love, to, or with her, she replied; "I am not comfortable with that."
That was nearly five years ago when she saved me from suicide. Since that time she has seen me 'in action' towards other women of a younger age. And knows of my expectations beyond mere flirting; what I've have discussed with her. The most recent was a simple statement; 'I would like to make love with a woman once before I die.' She indicated that it would be, for me, a good idea. It is important to remember that neither of us have ever been interested in "one-night-stands." Love making is too holy for that.
Recognized with her acceptance was the simple fact that there is no other woman for me. In a sense, there could never be another woman that I love to the degree, extent or kind, that I love her. If forced to prioritize love as experience in this moment it would be: God, Me, Annie (my rescue cat companion) and The Virgin Mary and/or M . . . the latter is a very difficult choice since I have met the Virgin Mary twice in dreams yet she never revealed her face to me. M occasionally claims she loves me and that is enough since I would accept her telling me to go to Hell literally and remember her last words to me as the most loving words ever heard from a real person. The same is equally true of God, were that God's judgement of, or will for, me.
Oddly. Or no so oddly; I feared women more than what is suggested in the Bible: To Fear God is wisdom. Since my mother seemed then until her death, God to me.
In point of order/sequence: We both, M & me = M&M, faced terminal issues, mine now resolved, hers continuing on; assessed daily. I experience a sense of the importance in each moment. Love & Life being a combination of fragility, resilience and grit.
Personally I am as casual about death as I am about birth. It takes far more courage to live than to die. Yet in death we will be together since God is Love and more powerful than the end of our world would imply.
120930 07:10 free association
The Creation Myth, in the Occidental wisdom book: The Bible. Is wonderful! Memorable and easily understood. However in Kenneth Clark's "CIVILIZATION" there is a fleeting remark implying his favor for woman being first and men derived from her.
I have never taken the Bible literally. I do not worship or idolize books. Rather it is my sense that he may be correct in his assessment: given that women are the largest group of subjugated, oppressed and enslaved people on earth.
Add to which the Bible as written is 'inspired,' not written, by God. Who to me is The Author of Life: that which and who I do worship, adore and listen for/to. Obviously God remains mute on the issue yet vocal on others I refuse to detail since it is your finding your authority I am concerned with in all that I write.
Imagine humankind attempting to travel the path to the one source defined in one hundred different ways moving forward on one leg.
Ludicrous!
Is it no so? Or similar, to conduct affairs of Church & State in the same way? For example: my constant rehearsal of life with my mother prior to yesterday? Add all other references to women. My sense and experience of God is that God looks nothing like you or me, but is utterly different.
We as American's worship and idolize The Bill of Rights and the Constitution without regard for the obvious transformations of privacy, usury, monetary value, meaning and value of life after global wars fought; and to be expected. By inference: war this time will be catastrophic or apocalyptic.
The Supreme Court is making decisions based upon a bias established by the former Republican Administration. Meaning, to me, that possibly where we are is intentional or a mistake. Conservatism seems to them to be fore material. While my bias is always for life.
I apply the same standard of justice upon myself being curious, or mindful, of consequence.
I've made many ludicrous remarks and judgements against the laws of our land and those officers of the court who administer them. That was then--this is now. I've changed as I must given the evidence I use to argue my case without apologies. I was wrong.
Myth, like poetry or parables, expresses truths that otherwise would require proof. It is not what we say but what we do that is the final proof our truths. All civilizations rise and fail simply based upon what they do for the least of us: women and the poor remaining defenseless.
At times I've experience my life as: 'road kill' or 'walking across a dark room covered with marbles, or eggs.' Or being--given my love affair playing with words: 'a Mirror Maze.' One must either remove or destroy the mirrors. Or find a path through them. I've done all three.
Albert Einstein expressed an active sense of gratitude for an other worldly intelligent energy guiding his accomplishments. A 'theology' if you will allow. From his results, conclusions, discoveries added to my own; I have faith in the following:
The science of life: biology, physics, medicine, psychology or philosophy are valid only as working in terms of flesh and blood reality. Science is dependent upon myth as well as the Bible; both are inspired.
Truth.
Unlike our current world sense of 'God.' Ideally being fixed and immutable. Our belief is subject to violent attacks based on definitions mutually exclusive to one belief construct or another.
God answers prayers by individuals; we cannot change the world. But we can change how we experience it without addiction to crutches. Loving God is sane, though I myself have been insane in love at times, I now know perfect sanity and look forward to meeting God face-to-face.
Albert Einstein said; “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
"It [gaming] is the child of avarice, the brother of iniquity, and the father of mischief." --George Washington
120930 08:53 history
©2012 by Jack Spratt - All Rights Reserved
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