echoing though the pretty flowers and trees across southwest landscaping I hear the pleas of dogs beaten or tortured frisson's of concern vibrating through my heart to my soles naked upon the tile floors white.
Helpless
Were it a child I’d bolt from the door in my boxer shorts and enquire why? My approach jocular but deadly for I would rend an adult or adolescent their abuse to not shreds but a greasy smear all that’s left of their theft of a child’s peace.
in the process probably dying of a stroke or heart attack but what other use is my life to me if not spent upon the defense of the helpless?
_____
Journal keeping is one of many ways to find sanity; prayer, meditation and contemplation come to mind as well. To become whole well and healed we need to become something akin to Jesus were He actually still amongst us to ourselves . . . I think so since I see Him everywhere partially, haltingly revealed in others regardless of age, gender or creed. Forget that. Religion has become a product; a blow up plastic party doll and who wants that?
I would that all young old or in between learn to write. Start with: “Dear God, I wish no longer to live . . . a suicide note. God does house calls actually she/he is never absent but resident in your heart.
--------
I am in considerable pain now. Between over work the needs of too many ‘served’? by too few and miscues wrong injections, prescriptions neglected by them not me and interminable waits humiliate me I’d rather die. Yet in dying would humiliate them not by machine gun but simply entering their office waiting room and interviewing randomly find exactly how many have been there for hours? Then disembowel myself asking anyone with a cel phone to record the event for the nightly news. Even Fox Fucking You Deaf Dumb and Blind TV would suffice.
. . . an afterthought were we in Cuba I might have a chance of not dying but living since they believe in free medical care. Is that really so bad? Better yet: could I not wire several bankers jaws together and chain them to myself disemboweling them before myself? See the legislation enabling bankers to give student loans without end, interest compounded to the point of bankruptcy those they purport to enable their medical education or is it merely the rule of scarcity giving the bankers control of everything including life and death?
No comments:
Post a Comment