Jack Spratt

Clara Bell

We as people regardless of all definitions applied for the convenience of governing: are unique: the solution; not the problem & glorious in and of ourselves. Exactly: when, why, what, about anything ARE

This I've said before in many ways, different places, posts; degrees, kinds and types. And I have a profound faith in my thesis since personal investigation, via self education, has lent me a conviction of unity between vastly different people: all races, genders, creeds, intentions and what remains of their lives as lived.

What I conclude is a higher Commonwealth of Consciousness does exist and can be given a voice more reasonable, generous and tolerant than what we have now for governance.

Not a "World Religion" but tolerance of all, a communal sense of the giftedness of all -- for ALL. We do, in my lexicon, belong to one another as Mother Teresa suggested. If I see 'God' everywhere it is merely that I look for THE ALL everywhere. And my vision/version of God is vastly less sentimental than most; less classical, formal or wishful thinking.

REST PERIOD 22:15

I seldom acknowledge my own pain, holding suffering off, so I must have been exhausted because I don't sleep i die momentarily. Car horns, door bells and telephones cannot awaken me.

The smiles, touches, affirmations we give one another identify of us humanity willing to love unconditionally those we'll never see again no gratuity or request for anything else exactly as God does to me I do you -- by this I mean towards strangers those who we'll never see again -- and our random gifts may be the only kindness "Jesus" in the poor & meek will ever know in this resurrection cycle. . . .Be not afraid, have no fear allowing no fear to own you: BE GENERIOUS indiscriminately. Neither idle boast nor proud M&M give 20~25% gratuities to wait staff.

Where I purchase my bulk cigarette tobacco, American Spirit, Clara Bell the gal who once asked; "How's your Christmas going?" In transparent honesty I told her my son died December 10th to which she replied my daughter too sometime near that time. We have become friends not acquaintances. A few months ago she had a little sign folded on the drive through counter asking for donations for her Aunt's medical needs, Adult Onset Leukemia in old Mexico. Every ten days or so I'd be sure to have enough cash to give her a ten or twenty for her cause.

I am ignoble by nature, this is no boast, since I profoundly accept "let your right hand not know what your left is doing" meaning don't let on or anyone know you've done it. Bill Gates is a very rich ass hole who represents the theft of Intellectual Property Rights of creative people. He never created anything in his life accept wealth giving him the power to take from me and make nice with the poor he selects for his aggrandizement.

my life has always been a study in suicide never having found a reason to live i'd laugh @ myself in the mirror wondering if I would have the courage to end it as Jerzy Kosinski of "The Painted Bird" did with a common white lettered plastic grocery bag in the bath tub so they could simply flush away is shit and urine -- you must intuit that in order to fully humiliate Jesus they murdered him nude so those feet I hold with the large spikes are actually covered in urine and shit -- fuck the Pope's who put pasties on penises and while we're at it FUCK PAPAL INFALIBILITY yet this old white boy is more Catholic than they are since it is all that remains of the original goy church but at that I am more a Shaker or Quaker than anything 'Christian'

I've a friend, well she told me to take a hike, who asked once what was meant by the following; "If you see Buddha walking down the road kill Him!" Took awhile to realize that I was her "beard" gay she was is maybe still is. "Beard" in lesbian lexicon means a token make to pass as not being gay.

Buddha's premise was and remains that we are all Buddha's so any ass hole pretending to be him is a fraud. My vision/version of the 'joke' or Koan. Think about The Sound of One Hand? Or did the tree falling in the forest make a sound if no one was there to hear it? Most politicians being psychopaths & amoral should not be allowed out of their cribs much less pretend nobility or god hood. Wankers one & all playing with themselves in public sans clothes or crowns

Recent events: I was in such pain that I actually thought about cutting my nuts off with a paring knife. I know I'd have bled out in a minute or so. The plastic grocery bag or gasoline flicking my Bic would have been kinder. The Emergency Room staff told me my blood pressure was a stroke/cardiac arrest level. I'm happily still here minus one testicle and glad I listened, in this case, to my suffering.

We are an nation of emigrants. The people here before us, and before them, and so on, had no sense of ownership but gratitude for the providence of The Great Spirit . . . what we now call "God."

I have apparently always felt, thought, sensed and intuited myself inadequate and unworthy of life or love. It has taken years of keeping/writing a personal journal to merely and simply write that sentence without hysteria. I still feel that way thus my ideation of suicide continues.

Isolated by choice, chance or the indifference of those around me has armored me. The armor, however, has dings, rust, cracks and vents through which the love of random strangers have kept me walking and talking; I now have friends and community that seem to love if not merely accept or endure me as i am. Could it be that they see in my eyes what I see in theirs: the same longing to be real and beloved of All that is Good . . . & . . . experiential.

Kindness and generosity become their own justification, not a gesture, but a personal truth. It seems that my face against the cold light green tile walls of the emergency room began another 'conversion experience.' What I prefer to call an "Extrusion" refining me to something less than I previously thought myself to be . . . LESS IS MORE! Humble and meek more so than ever in my grief and unending ideation of suicide I am well now; healed.

I do not know our Bible nearly so well as I'd like to. But remember many cockleburs stuck in the fleshy parts of my mind. Words, couplets, stanzas and parables that have caused me to pause before slipping off a midnight Christmas Eve bridge. In most cases it wasn't the words by themselves but more often those who in love gave them to me in prefect intuition that what they gave was what I needed -- desperately -- at that moment. And the messages go on and on daily, minute by second by words, deeds expressions of love silently passing across the space between us all. The greatest value is love and love given freely without expectation of anything but the feeling of love passing through us . . . is that the Light of The World?

i think so

amen

PS Life and love are difficult but not impossible, the obverse is too possible and will end the entire planet as a viable place to live.

120822 18:29 who are we?
© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved