Jack Spratt

120618 23:29

Confessions:

or Oh Jesus where are you when we need you & Lord Acton?

I have always been fascinated by divination especially numbers. Regarding periodicity: times of awakening; seasons cycles of the moon & solstice; on and on. By this measure I discovered awakening annually at Easter and dying at Advent with that long dark period relieved only by Epiphany; an experiential otherwise psychic, allegorical, 'death' between.

Seasonal Affect?

Maybe – maybe not.

Possibly It seems to have evaporated since moving South and West. Remarkably so in New Mexico. Something primal, not atavistic, before time was created; a sense of resources beyond definition.

And Yes.

Oh YES.

Enchanting.

Of course.

Enchantment the land itself.

Then too, discovered, what was only hinted at during all the years from birth leading to hospice service: a lust for all women, all ages, decidedly hetero not homo, but not exclusively sexual in attraction either. A seeing the generation of them from back to front, crone to infant and lubricious teen in heat. Another way of articulating the same issue would be to express it as a hard-on for equality?

And with age, at Jung's suggestion, the boundaries between genders blur returning to our minor gender differences as in childhood. The unknown at conception.

Again, with Jung's description, or conjecture, I've begun to sense in my – quintessentially bliss filled solitude – a balance between female/male identity desirable in my model of wholeness/holiness is as Jesus 1^st as man not God. Fully rooted in my time all Prophets of The Numinous become nearly equal or equivalent. Always personal seeming of equal grandeur. About whom I sometimes, in some cases, just for the fun of it say: “The What, That Which, The Who, The ALL. To whom or what I submit my self soul consciousness . . . what I live and die for. The whole why of anything&everything. . . The always Other: of many many names.

To finish the thought beginning this string, it seems that the wholeness of Jesus was equally present in others before during and after and still is right now.

Possibly pompous, supercilious, pretentious and superfluous. Exactly what I adore/despise in politicians . . . If I may be so bold it seems now so close this death I will actually die. . . .That I wick the genius of God in all things and people. & I would call no person evil or lacking the Holy.

Being a White Boy, nominally religious, once-a-Protestant, in love with God, who grew to a modicum of maturity in two differing places – one humble the other obscenely pretentious -- I represent a unique witness concocting a weird vision/version of life in this America or These United States Of and/or upon a contiguous land mass artificially divided by boundaries meaning nothing to me stretching from pole to pole . . . astonishing really.

And for now here astraddle the spine of creation primaeval before the before of BCE the Man, the soul, the Self whom I have adored since dropping from my mothers womb, maybe even before that laborious delivery some fifty-eight-hours in dry delivery. So she said when I asked. The BC AD or is it AC/DC? Who knows it seems now all so arbitrary being there really is no time in God.

The ideal of Him as Prophet adored or at the very least accounted for in most of the world except the many who predated Him like Buddha and Confucius. For the what whom I would argue auguring arguing, all three apparently, of course, into the whatever shallow depths of my psyche would speculate and conjecture that it was the consciousness of God and not being the Actual Factual Reality or Realization that we call 'god' manifest.

But that was then this is now.

I really love playing in this sandbox with God receiving “Love Notes” from Him/Her implied/inferred or expressed through others of any gender or gender proclivities colors creeds yada yada yada blah blah blah -- daba do/dodo across all time before language was a glimmer in God's eyes. See: They’re no good, the lot of them—Yaddeyahdah—They're animals! —Lenny Bruce

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

Yes. The model presented either by The Meyers-Briggs or The Enneagram suggests that Jesus was/is perfectly equal in: Thinking, Intuition, Sensing, Feeling. In no particular order or hierarchy = wholeness, integration or what we deem 'Holiness' period. Just to be transparent I mashup those qualities in equal measure with mercy, kindness, empathy and on and on = infinity.

How in Heavens Name did we get to destroying all life?

And the fecal headed/minded, or merely scatocephalic, members having congress with themselves and their pimp patron/sponsors; have managed to cripple the only real free venue and forum of education available to all the people of the world – THE INTERNET -- for the benefit of merchants of the new pornography: violence. Or merely: “Might is right”

What is that really like for me?

It would be a middle aged white mother driving an gigantic sized vanity mobile, merely a ¾ ton truck called a Sports Utility Vehicle, making me a quadriplegic while driving and texting or maybe sexting on her way to get new batteries for her vibrator . . . Somewhat akin to a Vietnam helicopter pilot I know of, not well but about, who leg and armless since the grand in vain and vanity event – maybe why Kennedy was assassinated because either he wanted to 'pull out' coitus rhythm method for the Industry of not healing but exclusively of Death or Johnson did it? Texas that grand and wonderful secessionist inclined progenitor of weird fruits and economic failures something in the absence of water to be sure the lunatic fundamentalism rewriting science for their historic revisionist pleasure. Self-fulfilling prophecies profits of "Death is not the worst that can happen to men.” --Plato and saying gee I'm sorry really doesn't cut it.

(a reprise, can I teach you nothing angelic women? 'Men or man' is generic for now for people whose souls are neither on or the other all Angels are merely that sexless despite the promise of walking upon the nubile breasts promised in The Koran)

If we focus on inspiration versus conspiracy and/or give the lesser part, maybe just ten percent dedicated to saving lives instead of destroying them things might be a bit more pleasant in the fewer than two hundred years left the human race. Exxon would disagree of course what Rockefeller wrought so long ago the robber baron resurrected.

I no longer wonder why shit head is synonymous with politician.

I have a family of friends for whom I do not speak but in passing check these things out of which I speak through informal polls, interviews and/or inquisitions covert but effective nonetheless. To a person they and or we who deal with inevitable things, namely death, think similarly. Zero esteem for what is laughable, this carnival freak show called Democracy, but experimentally is Free Market Socialism for the wealthy; we pay they win. We have less they have more and always more since they are gaming (think weird accounting and cooking the books) this 'democracy' they are addicted to money. And in their fancy prancing naked greed have collapsed the World Economy too.

I actually don't care a fig or mustard seed for the political issues I've outlined. By no means definitively. Since I've only begun to redefine “In God We Trust”

In any or all cases We The People need begin to govern ourselves, think Free Will, then to collectively bargain for our freedom from tyranny. What we have now, in my opinion, is slavery plummeting in a grocery cart into the abyss . . . 'Make Mary/Merry, have some fruit of the vine'? I don't think so, the hangover is terminal for all of us.

In closing @ 06:28 I remember W. C. Fields comment on definition and names:

“It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.”

. . . I can be, at times, irreverent and rudely salacious now imagining the unkind who occupy Washington D.C. A closed closeted retort of vanity indifferent to reality lacking any empathy collectively psychotic with my arrows rubber cupped quivering upon their foreheads thinking/saying; “kill the son-of-a-bitch.” . . . but I flatter myself as a would be sacrifice to end the World killing, I'll probably die in old age quickly or slowly as Buddha and Mohammad did.

Definitions matter, the difference between a vibrator and a dildo is the first is self-propelled the latter is manual lacking any other energy than . . . oh well swell . . . the SUV driver could equally be a guy on his way to get another bigger rectal probe more likely with a suction cup for wall mounting. No batteries required.

Unconscionably rude? Yes I confess. But these people who purport to serve us are really a flock of wankers in smoke filled back rooms having unspeakable pleasure with our future and current tax dollars not to mention our kids and theirs our 'enemies' mutilated by THE SCHOOL OF TERRORISM or merely Free Market Capitalism gone completely insane naturally.