at this moment I am conscious of tectonic shifts creating tsunamis circling my world meeting in the middle reaching beyond the sky a new heaven in life or merely chaos
without shame I will share with you that I have a friend with whom I make love over Formica tables in public and to her I owe eternal gratitude for which she has never required & i alike King David in my candidly naked strut enter Jerusalem the City of Peace a light in the blight surrounding all love in Her presence
I wonder will she or will she not read this never seeing this or those thoughts of adoration expended buried within the miles of journal keeping since we first met? In some idle chit chat mostly mine she listens silently holding me in the emerald green gaze hypnotically regarding me unknowing wisdom or foolishness proclaiming whatnot And in those rare proclamations of hers I am slain and instantly resurrected anew Our Father's House has many mansions each better than the last small death to pay the entrance of
Me thinks the Lady doth protest too much my song of thanksgiving hymns of praise and paeans for her ignored in childhood as i was & in times at the opportunities told she demurs proclaiming essentially humiliation that I should love her as I do will always continually each unaccustomed to being seen so glorious or seen at all noted by anyone or thing.
She not mine but for all others The Lady of The Lake Indifference arisen placing a sceptered sword in my hands to winnow the chaff of indifference in others to themselves
I did not intend this spontaneous applause rather it was to help others as she has helped me to come fully alive released from my grave an endless grief unlived life a rut more a mole beneath and mute deaf and blind
Expiated atoned distilled and extruded what came before (unpublished) I can now move right along penitent
I no longer mourn a lack of education as is currently or then in childhood defined vocational in nature in itself slavery to a system of governance by the rich to exploit the poor and the beating goes on and on ad nauseam I give glory laud and honor to all especially The Author of All Things yet do I decry the nakedness of Emperors sans clothes spastically writhing publicly in political proclamations about promises never to keep simply to REMAIN IN CHARGE of a ship of fools headed for perdition Exporting not democracy but graft greed poisoned food air water waste of life to fuel obscenities: competitive gamesmanship inglorious
To this end did i start compelled to seek sanity in a time of blackest grief anxiety and endlessly contemplated suicide Taught to be a buffoon a clown for my future despised I began to read what I wrote listening to a self emergent discovered a Soul/Consciousness & the potential of self-healing available to all humanity lest the hack whore politicians censor it more the Internet the most promising venue yet
Therein found a collective wisdom free for the looking seeing seeking a reason to live and a reason to die for A purpose for all conjoined participating in the live fully lived not merely survived or endured in desperate silence
I advocate for us not an institutional governance or religion but a consensus that we can live free in love making Love not War the standard of consciousness considered
As evidenced by all that I've written through the years, months, days this moment I sense integration possible Though barely able to govern myself I seek a potential of ethic and moral choice some would call Karma mindfulness neither dystrophic or utopia but something self governing that we can all live with and with one another
Free Will never implied a license to Murder
Elton Trueblood, Tricky Dickey's speech writer, coined the phrase “lunatic fringe fundamentalist!” I can hear their howls and frothing desire to bludgeon what I've written and myself as of/the Anti-Christ, Socialist yak yak Yawn so what's new in La La Land?
My conviction is that rote learning is idolatry not thinking fluid and relevant to our current reality and truths. To me the Bible, as all Wisdom Books, are owner's manuals: Do this when that breaks and get on with it. Loving life freely allowing others their choices.
While not part of the 'training' for hospice service I have become accustomed to expect instant death as part and parcel of life Therefore each and every moment is precious beyond measure. And of/for The Lady of the Lake Indifference I when parting know it may well be the last time by either election accident design or choice. The degree and kind of my love for her as for all others knows no limits it is my choice and nature infinite.
“Good, Better, Best” are mercantile considerations having nothing to do with pragmatic truth. If we do not get “on the same page” whether Koran, Koan, Talmud, Bible Old & New Testament, The Tibetan Book of the Dead or the manifold others there may be no Book no People no World as we know and love it alive left.
Do no harm – works for me. www.alanclements.com
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