Be that now . . . having something of love’s energy now

100105 22:51
We are made of such stuff as the stars are made and have significance in the Universe.
This is my truth and for that I celebrate all my life knowing now that the suffering seasoned my tranquility the end of us all, now or in the latter future.
I have gratitude for publishing records of my surprise and delight in words and images. Yet I am now lead to fully immerse my life in the flowing torrent around me through community. To walk the walk instead of talking about it is a greater wealth, and I am now hungry for that. Where I once thought myself terrible, bizarre, gimp, unacceptable for a host of things. I am reminded of the daughter whose death I sailed through, overtly, with ease.
In my imagining, then and now, I see myself naked carrying her into the elements for her peace and death without indignity. To die with her would have been better than the choice not to. Perhaps better yet would have been to attend her life, such as it was, given Spina Bifida and a brain tissue paper thin. To allow her the grace of my attention and touch. For that choice I linger in grief unassailable. It is nearly impossible for me to give or receive forgiveness. Yet I remain alive and do not know why?
I am especially conscious of my adopted daughter and her daughter, my granddaughter. Their silence is at times crushing. Squashed I arise time and again knowing my love is unconquerable.
Turn and turn about, chasing my tail in confusion, at times enraged, enslaved and deaf, dumb, silent, a victim . . . churning myself into butter melted and disappeared. Yet I remain advocate that there is safety, sanity and tranquility available for all.
We can do that together.
I will soon be the dust I have, for a lifetime, longed to be.
The language will change, possibly disappear, along with our species to witness anything in bodily form. Yet the truth of God will remain and all is well in that.
For me?
Yes!
For you I am uncertain, and at times, in anguish, cry out against injustice masquerading Truth.
There is no fear or waste in the effort to seek yourself as created. Once revealed, or discovered, there is no reason to hoard that since to give is to receive more.
The math is simple. We use and live by 10% the other 90% is idle . . . of course I refer to our individual internal wealth. Jesus said, “The Kingdom of God is within you” I believe, have faith in, and love through that truth and experience. I have heard, but make no reference to, other than to report, you can be blessed either way.
Why wait? Be that now in life, having something of love’s energy now.