smiling in bliss ignore me please

091215 14:00
Knowing not then or now, comely or hideous, the streets of Manhattan remained an oasis of womanhood enchanted. In spring, fall, winter, summer the women who ignored me, my adoration at twelve years-of-age, occasionally would in kindness notice and attend my love of their beauty, great, small, wide and tall.
Of women I have known too much tribulation since I am helpless, mostly for their random kindness, gentle grace, seeing my adolescent face, ignoring my lusty thoughts, longings and aspirations for a ‘normal’ future, bed, wed, wife, child or children; and then more of the best things in life afterward.
Of course it is now somewhat scrambled, the sequence of wed, bed, et etcetera, no matter those gone long ago days.
I should be, but am not, an old drooling fool, lusting lasciviously for what I longed for, and received partially then, and now am chagrined I missed Mary’s Birthday, or was it merely the annunciation? Levitation to deity, finally in the Godhead?
Seen partially in dreams, otherwise in all women young, old, nubile or sterile, I weep no more for having none save Annie who adores me as I she. Long bushy tail and all inhaling fur balls coughing up. Small wonder I adore cats since instead of lavishing licks of ‘feed me’, she bites the bejesus out of me while I thin her fur.
And in ecstasy we arise at the same predawn hours ignored, at other times she awakens me whimpering, I think she thinks I died in my sleep. Apnea you know of course you don’t since even should you know you soon come to not care, strokes and cardiac events, stoppages or arrivals who cares, I don’t. . . . or maybe I glow in the dark floating above the covers disturbing her slumber?
I was thinking about the poor Polar Bears, so white, and curious, such pets we’ve made of them with sulphur exhausted from obscenely profitable electric utility pirates and privateers politicians representing themselves greedily selling the skins of Polar Bears and private citizens for any means to their ends. Why don’t we skin them alive and wear their coats? Of course I speak of the most polluted species on earth, no malevolence in that, I mean of course, the Polar Bears. And the politicians are doomed debating weird science foolishly playing the paying in later futures when their children safe in America will merely die from neglect.
Oh well, I am merely a wannabe savage, aware the loss of the entire planet, and what will remain? Conservancy of status quo held privately, while fiddling around with cooking books. Where will They Go? Safety assured by policies taken at our expense of course.
Heaven I sense will be just wonderful, perfect attendance of those whose lives dedicated to taking you’re’s and mine, perpetually conscious of endless shame seeing the showers of Buchenwald powered by Ford and other Utilities/Commodities adored now but then no heat nor cold just perpetual guilt and no harm nor death allowed them.
I am not confident the mirror of Native Spirituality, or Semite, which am I an Anglo? Perhaps Taoist.  Whatever, I gotta go with what I’ve got following the King of Servants who remains in my heart forever Jewish and Jerusalem The Entire World. . . .
and love best the son and the mother sent by the father to heal us all
. . . expunged from Care two for caring too much? What me worry smiling in bliss ignore me please