120704
07:37 incipient
If i speak with love using the tongues of Angels imcomprehesable it is
not for my ego but for you to learn to know the finest definitions of
love and forgiveness
I
am fond of referring to being clubbed senseless yet best describes my
experience in the presence of crowds is as either terrified or bored
& as rudely reverent having been in The Presence I am dazzled
and well remembered the privilege alone & singular
Followed
closely on in the wake of my last post it seems the author of my
beloved adored & received 'love notes from God' continues to
request my attention otherwise begrudgingly given as in Mark Twain's
seldom annotated quote from his time in college working at the post office;
“I hated being at the beck and call of every
son-of-a-bitch with two cents.”
If
I presume or arrogate the Presence holding me enthralled it is not i
but He since i in love would do or be anything for the love of God.
Yet no murder nor doing harm
Mother
whose flames kept me somewhat distant was fabulously intelligent and
upon too few occasions expressed her final evaluation of her self in
the following – lamentably imperfect my recall but enough remembered
to mention its inspiration--:
“We must learn being valueless as a
grain of sand.”
Apprehensive
convicted simply not blown away but apart then & until now; I
found William Blake's
“To
see a world in a Grain of Sand,
And
a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold
Infinity in the palm of your hand,
And
eternity in an hour.”
--The
Marriage of Heaven and Hell (c. 1790-1793)
At
such times again am I savaged by grief
again
a reprise ravaged the moments of
penetrative
puncture a spear rowed in my
heart
& by her leave forgiving me now forgiving
her
tutorials she lives eternal as is M so beloved of
me
that in gratitude I would go and burn eternally
remembered
the sound of her voice telling me to GO!
So
too the bride of my youth
beloved
upon first sight who
in
leaving her said to me
not
to return shadowing my body again
it
is well that. I will soon be limp and useless this joy stick my testis frozen in the bowl beneath and then I will be less savage in
my adoration of women who fascinate me adam befriending a being with
nonexistent protrusion merely the Mount of Venus or mons veneris best laved bald
Like
our minds we use the lesser least part one trillionth the potential
moving right along . . . it is well that i learned to play
with words before the lesser aspect when I knew not its joy or
purpose sensuous
I
know you cannot hear my mirth tears of joy drowning me at time other
extreme I have reams of bathroom wipes instead of facial so endless
my tears of both extents
oh
jackie you so very bad sad mad boy why not say all orifices?
Returning
to the wake luminous afterward the previous post I discovered the
following not divination as such merely proof positive that The
Beloved not only communicates but has a sense of humor. For &/+
Us.
As
the nuns who taught me one needs to ignore first reactions in telling
me St. Teresa of Avila & St. John of the Cross were lovers
Shocked & Awed I wondered about that until M
Say
no more fool since the best part is friendship equal renewed daily
unconditional marriage conjugal or otherwise. With that preamble I confess a prior prejudice against
all foreign costume and custom particularly in dialect or vernacular
but of women's clothes oh boy regardless before during or afterward
future
a tincture less now my fetishes that remain
077.
No Attachment to Dust
Zengetsu,
a Chinese master of the T'ang dynasty, wrote the following advice for
his pupils:
Living
in the world yet not forming attachments to the dust of the world is
the way of a true Zen student.
When
witnessing the good action of another encourage yourself to follow
his example. Hearing of the mistaken action of another, advise
yourself not to emulate it.
Even
though alone in a dark room, be as if you were facing a noble guest.
Express your feelings, but become no more expressive than your true
nature.
Poverty
is your treasure. Never exchange it for an easy life.
A
person may appear a fool and yet not be one. He may only be guarding
his wisdom carefully.
Virtues
are the fruit of self-discipline and do not drop from heaven of
themselves as does rain or snow.
Modesty
is the foundation of all virtues. Let your neighbors discover you
before you make yourself known to them.
A
noble heart never forces itself forward. Its words are as rare gems,
seldom displayed and of great value.
To
a sincere student, every day is a fortunate day. Time passes but he
never lags behind. Neither glory nor shame can move him.
Censure
yourself, never another. Do not discuss right and wrong.
Some
things, though right, were considered wrong for generations. Since
the value of righteousness may be recognized after centuries, there
is no need to crave immediate appreciation.
Live
with cause and leave results to the great law of the universe. Pass
each day in peaceful contemplation.
I
stand reproved not diciplined with the rod but with compassionate
passionate love empathy and forgiveness. In closing the women I have
loved perhaps could not stand the rarefied air of my adoration or my
molsetation desired of their unique difference between us lusted for.
Oh
dear sweet Jesus I adore you and playing with words.
“I
am a man; nothing human is alien to me.” --Terence
