120802 0838 slogans

Father Denis, my power of attorney, has said "it is impossible to disprove a negative." When I hear something that I can neither agree nor disagree with I fall into silent contemplation for days, years or an eternity seeking the knowing of what is implied but never hasten to expose my inferences. Since to do so is to fall into a collective monolog . . . merely He said, She said, a pissing contest, whose is the biggest, the longest, the greatest stream of urine.

In sadness I have avoided the media I most trust: National Public Radio since, as they must report the nattering's of politicians who seek power to bend us to their will & i for one am bored by slogans.

I would if I could debate God for us our freedoms to be fully informed of God's Will for us. Yet knowing God as poorly as I do am richer than any man or institution I might otherwise blindly parrot or follow unto the death of me or mankind collectively. That said i sense, think, intuit and feel God is our friend and no enemy.

I listen to the affairs of men (generic for persons as Angels without gender definition) and have concerns I attempt here to address. As I see our species slowly dying of excess. From which I will gladly leave this moment for I've had enough of life so defined . . . so defiled as the crucifixion by humiliation and torture the future of love impossible.

--Simón Bolívar
“The three biggest fools in the world have been Jesus Christ, Don Quixote, and... me.”
"Those who have served the cause of the revolution have plowed the sea."

--sachineha
"As a child, I used to collect all the good quotes (kindness, friendship, right behavior quotes, etc) that I encountered in my routine life in my 'quotes diary'. The purpose was merely to find nice quotes at one place to write on cards that we used to give our friends on special events. But I now realize that my diary served a greater purpose. Writing and repetitive reading of those quotes instilled in me a sense of righteousness, kindness and justice which is the foundation step of my motivation to be kind all along my life."

--Stewart Udall
Plans to protect air and water, wilderness and wildlife, are in fact plans to protect man.
We have, I fear, confused power with greatness.

--Steward B. Johnson
Our business in life is not to get ahead of others but to get ahead of ourselves-to break our own records, to outstrip our yesterdays by our today, to do our work with more force than ever before.

--Stevie Wonder 
We all have ability. The difference is how we use it.
You can't base your life on other people's expectations.

--Stephen Sondheim
Art, in itself, is an attempt to bring order out of chaos.
Over a period of time it's been driven home to me that I'm not going to be the most popular writer in the world, so I'm always happy when anything in any way is accepted.

--Stephen King (author-writer)
"Fiction is a lie, and good fiction is the truth inside the lie.”
“I'm a salami writer. I try to write good salami, but salami is salami.”
"Show me a man or a woman alone and I'll show you a saint. Give me two and they'll fall in love. Give me three and they'll invent the charming thing we call 'society'. Give me four and they'll build a pyramid. Give me five and they'll make one an outcast. Give me six and they'll reinvent prejudice. Give me seven and in seven years they'll reinvent warfare. Man may have been made in the image of God, but human society was made in the image of His opposite number, and is always trying to get back home."
--The Stand: The Complete & Uncut Edition (1990), 3rd paragraph of Chapter 42, Glen Bateman speaking
“The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them — words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller, but for want of an understanding ear.”
"The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool."
Ah. Oh yes. At last what I sought:

--Elie Wiesel
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference.
and the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.

"What is indifference? Etymologically, the word means "no difference." A strange and unnatural state in which the lines blur between light and darkness, dusk and dawn, crime and punishment, cruelty and compassion, good and evil."
“Once you bring life into the world, you must protect it. we must protect it by changing the world.”

--Primo Levi
In countries and epochs in which communication is impeded, soon all other liberties wither; discussion dies by inanition, ignorance of the opinion of others becomes rampant, imposed opinions triumph. … Intolerance is inclined to censor, and censorship promotes ignorance of the arguments of others and thus intolerance itself: a rigid, vicious circle that is hard to break.

We who survived the Camps are not true witnesses. We are those who, through prevarication, skill or luck, never touched bottom. Those who have, and who have seen the face of the Gorgon, did not return, or returned wordless.

--Heraclitus
“There is nothing permanent except change.”
"Whoever cannot seek the unforeseen sees nothing, for the known way is an impasse."

Please dear reader forgive my trespass and infliction of these closing thoughts:
When I hear the slogans of those who would farther destroy our nation I also hear the slogans of Al-Qaeda who parrot their patriotism to hypocrisy & bigotry . . . I am neither for God yet remain a conservator of love versus Hate & Fear, Inc.

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

120802 05:21 no soul

I awoke from an ongoing dream interrupted by a need to void several times over. It seemed that God was asking me to write a prayer somewhat akin to The Lord's Prayer set in the context of these end times.

I had many opening lines and quietly began this new next day bewildered . . .

I've never met a soul I could not love and amongst men consider myself most blessed for this seeing of their qualities oblivious to them. I no longer judge anyone as anything but themselves a precious prism of potential and of those who have achieved love and peace I bless and those still in process I engage with humor never leaving any one or another as unworthy of my affections.

Our lives individually begin and end, while in life we are the problem or the solution defined by what we embroil ourselves in. Either a maelstrom or a gyre; one sucking in the other giving out and up drawing the love of all life into the light.

Have no fear of anything especially not death for God is both within us and for us in any and all sorts and conditions. There is no hell greater than the one we're in and heaven is within our grasp in life or death.

My thoughts are no longer conjecture since I embrace my enemy/myself then all others who would embroil me in their struggle with meaning; what life is for, the why, the where, the how, etc? And in their mortal combat with Self attempt to prove their point by annihilating me.

There is no need for revolution since to advocate violence is merely to replicate that which we wish to replace. Do no harm to either yourself or your adversary but love them into loving themselves. Impossible!¿ Of course. But the process begins I/Thou and spreads outward and upward while the alternative sucks the world into a vortex of -- dare I say the word? -- greed. How do I measure the obscenity of greed except by own greed or God. I could argue that my greed is benign while theirs is terminal yet hypocrisy and bigotry are the same regardless of intent.

There is a place for all of us. I have no clue what it looks like since it is a state in my imaginings. It amuses me to acknowledge that the conflicts embroiling our lives will be transplanted and the resolution is not God's job but ours.

Be light and love for all that you are here and now accepting and integrating everything the good, bad and grotesque and we'll have a head start for the place we all go having destroyed this pretty blue marble we once inhabited left forlorn.

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

120801 22:11 election

"No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent."
- Abraham Lincoln

One might feel safe in the assumption that I am political. But I am so only in the Quaker sense: "Speak Truth to Power" I find myself increasingly concerned with indications obvious to me the psychological manipulation of the electorate.

I am a registered voter and, as indicated, when I get around to it, I will become once more an Independent. Since I feel it will make those who seek power work harder to manipulate me into giving into their addictions.

Without equivocation greed is the most obscene and grotesque aspect of humanity. In a profound sense it is exercised as economic terrorism by the few against the many.

And as I write this I have in mind not simply  Niccolo Machiavelli  (1469-1527) “Ambition is so powerful a passion in the human breast, that however high we reach we are never satisfied. .” indicative of addiction; the operative word is "satisfied" or "never enough." When earnestly asked of those who purport to serve us how much power they want -- inevitably the answer is "MORE!"

When required to define their posture the reply is "more jobs for Americans" yet it is these very people who have moved our industrial genius to other nations in order to glean more profit ignoring the problem of what money is for: a medium of exchange for goods and services in order to drive the economy forward.

My sense is quite grim since I well know that hospice will be, in the very near future, a Growth Industry dealing with the already epidemic levels of dementia & Alzheimer's essentially induced by chemical substances inimical to human consumption increasing profits across the board.

Both Democrats and Republicans want to control the news media while saying on one hand that deregulation is indicated to increase jobs and on the other some other bull roar about censorship of the Internet.

I had not intended to attempt a definitive essay on elections or the economy. This is a selection of afterthoughts from a conversation with a fellow volunteer at hospice and his concerns about 'them' meaning the obvious  destruction of freedom and life livable . . . a person unwilling to live and die for something will stand anything to avoid the issues plaguing our nation and the world.

Collectively we are near checkmate upon a chess board covered with would be Kings. This is no game people, you, me, all of us, are dying because of avarice a Cardinal Sin.

Avarice n extreme greed for riches, immoderate desire for wealth; cupidity
syn avariciousness, greed, rapacity, covetousness
related deadly sin, mortal sin - an unpardonable sin entailing a total loss of grace; "theologians list seven mortal sins" greed - excessive desire to acquire or possess more (especially more material wealth) than one needs or deserves
Quotations
"The love of money is the root of all evil" Bible: I Timothy
"avarice, the spur of industry" [David Hume Essays: Moral and Political]

©2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

120801 02:34 Judas Iscariot

I have arisen from a dream which defines me in ways difficult to accept as Judas Iscariot. Inherent in the dream's message was the role of avenger for the deaths of God' Children of which, of course, we all are. Yet some seem called to devour in greed everything in sight.

There are certain aspects of my personality that I am not comfortable with since it implies, at least to me and with my powers of discernment, that I am less benign than my ideal of man god or Jesus.

Baptized Methodist, an occasional Congregationalist, then for a long period of time attendance to no church. Then briefly Baptist and finally my last sincere attendance: The Episcopal Church of America. What I call and sense The Anglican Communion profoundly based upon the absence of a Pope. Or simply: Pro - test - tant.

Without artifice or conceit or intent to promote or advance any specific theology save the significance of Free Will for all, which at the moment, seems the left hand of love, mercy, compassion, empathy, kindness and sacrifice. There is virtually no part of me indifferent to anything.

"God helps those who help themselves"?!

As man and child I have been victim and helpless to stave off the deaths of anything or anyone yet in prayer have I plead to be the one to die in their stead. Simultaneously aware that my sense of death was then simply what it implies: dead and buried, this body to rot -- end of story. Add to which my sense of Jesus or any of the characters within the narrative of The Bible -- Both Books -- The Old and New Testament from beginning to end there is zero sentimentality. What I have come to perceive as idolatrous idolatry of ideas used to sell a belief system and not promote faith. . . .And in faith I would be for God anything God, in His infinite will for me for all mankind decided. . . .Even Judas Iscariot.

Spiritually and intellectually I've wandered far afield of "Christianity" without censure of Our Father. If anything, encouragement to know the divinity inherent in all Prophets who define God differently than I was formerly comfortable with. Yet each stripped of their costumes, difficult to understand languages and customs I discovered a common thread. A will to know, love and submit in life, worship and death "God."

Through, possibly, inappropriate confession, through the agency, or venue, of these pages I have proven my imperfection and ordinary humanity fully conscious of my intention to enable others to know themselves divine of origin. Instead of all the lies explicit to me at least in the various brands of human experience and thought -- the what we are willing to live by and die for in real flesh and blood terms -- I would suggest that you must decide not in belief but faith a choice.

You, though I know you not specifically, are worth my life to teach you the value God given within you.

Chortling here at my temptation to quote the wisdom of another, a Buddhist Master, since it seems now that I must write it myself incomprehensible or not.

What you love incarnates what you will become. I have a cat named Annie but I in loving her will no more be a cat than her love for me makes her human . . . I should have said I have a companion a cat named Annie and in our love for each other incarnate God's love for all life.

"When we love properly, we expand our love for a few to compassion for all. This love can help all beings to live with happiness and freedom, and it is anything but small and powerless–it is the reason for our existence!" --Buddhist Master

04:42 Pause

Typical of my practice I seek affirmation in quotes, and there were several that seemed indicative of what I sought, yet simultaneously I discerned a need to close with my own:

Read the runes and ruins of your heart carefully since the reckoning is soon for all of us.

©2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judas_Iscariot
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gospel_of_Judas

If the rich could hire other people to die for them, the poor would make a wonderful living.
- Jewish proverb

PTSD IS:
I help people as a way to work on myself, and I work on myself to help people… To me, that’s what the emerging game is all about. -- As quoted at "Baba Ram Dass in the realm of Visionary Artist Martina Hoffmann: in the end there’s only one spirit and one humanness" at Elephant Journal (9 October 2010)

120731 0459 death

Upon entry into volunteer service at hospice--I feel disinclined to name 'mine' since it is a universal choice of many. None more noble than those they serve or lower in the sense of Mother Teresa and Sr. McAuley or any Religious Sisters/Brothers at all. Their devotion to the poor. 

I had a dream the night before our first class, it astonished me as most of my dreams do. Visions too. 

It dealt with the funeral of a friend and I a 'civilian' was recruited from the congregation to give the homily unprepared. 

Pre Performance I strode the narthex shabbily dressed in street clothes disheveled stewing the various things I could say: He was near the end of his life an agent of the CIA in Cambodia had fathering a gaggle of red haired children with Cambodian faces. And I remembered him from elementary school, my second faze there having stayed back in the fourth grade, brilliant, a bit odd in appearance somewhat cartoonish like Howdy Doody but tall and lanky sans Uncle Bob. 

He collected his semen in a one gallon jug filled with wood grain alcohol proudly displayed amongst his young male friends -- always wondered -- did his mother know? His sister or our mutual Doris friend next door with the psychiatrist dad who I later sold a Martin Guitar to at list price. He seemed to enjoy my flimflam sales pitch perhaps it was worth paying 100% more than on 48th Street Manhattan.

He played the piano well and we'd formed a group of shorts, can't remember what I played then conversant with so many instruments--probably cornet. In order to better render our nascent talent we patronized a jazz club smokey dark and filled with adults -- how could we get away with our drink orders? I requested scotch like mom drank and another one or two asked for beer and Win. Well. He. Asked. For. Milk!? 

With aplomb or indifference we were served.

What's my point? Oh. Yes. Periodicity of my faith and death and all of that. Starting from now and going backwards: I think hospice should charge a tuition for the experience -- priceless -- since the congress of baboons & goats has decided to cut our budget another 10% while guaranteeing themselves congratulatory raises for killing the world's economy and extending their medial insurance to cover Happy Endings to tax payer sponsored elegant lunches with lobbyist. Especially The United States Catholic Conference of Bishops who sponsor the birth of children produced by rape and incest -- you  know I've addressed this subject before -- oh well I'm a shit head and redundant as hell.

Well. Hell. What do you expect me to say? That's 30% in three years! We are near shutting down the lights and heat at night using candles and matchbooks. The staff is finding more remunerative work flipping hamburgers while the professional whore politicians are covered until death that's when I get them.

Oh sweet Jesus on a moped with and iPhone talking not paying attention direction of travel; do I love to role play. Sometimes I'm Mary getting pregnant sans foreplay or penetration no fun at all. Other times I'm Judas, sometimes Job, but my favorite role is as Osiris who greets the dead upon their departure from life . . . and sometimes Isis or God depending upon my mood: who Judges whom and with what mercy? 

Or none!

At the first class my image, the experience of death, was no death at all, merely buried alive looking at the coffin top three inches from my nose in the dark forever. I never did deliver the homily covered in a fine film of sweat disheveled but awoke then wrote up my dream -- maybe someday I'll go back and read it -- this is from memory.

Well Jesus! Look at me now riding the Milky Way on my tricycle no handed! Ginning at, to beat the band of goats in hell below me.

©2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

detritus sins & virtues

Are 
we are 
we not the 
waste of God's 
dream of us the super-
fluous driving the event 
horizon forward or backward?
God remains the engine of the Universe 
and we the fuel or exhaust?! Virga fallen from 
a cloud like dream never inseminating life again or
are we merely like all the galaxies just one of trillions life vernacular forms a virus Ebola?


120731 0123 detritus sins & virtues
©2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved