120718 06:25 rogue thoughts

Confession: Attendance to Sex Addiction Anonymous, no shame in that, especially now that I know friendship more better than the act; acrobatic or not. What I neglected to mention keep it in you knickers (Brit euphemism for under drawers) in this case I refer to knickers as in golf pants with argyle knee socks shoes on with little pointy things called spikes worn. Sex has become instead of a sacrament lethal to body and soul. Best remembered the dictum no fool'in around until after the first 100 dates not the kind you eat but the kind were you meet and get to know each other not Biblically . . . you know that little red book in the bedside table in the No Tell Motel: Gideon International' Tract Rack . . . why don't they issue them with Shagging Wagons? Like a GPS!

I know.

I know.

I too Bitched Wined and Moaned . . . you know the superior race who wrapped their lamps with flesh of dead Jews? For status sake referred to as B.M.W. or to the initiated as “Break My Wallet.”

Let your most ardent desire be congress with a partner who you can grow old together with and still have something to converse about – not some fantasy regarding how good it was in the good old days before you were parents & when you can't get it up and she is desert dry.

Tits and Ass eventually slide downward; like my wattles wrinkles and posterior. Best friends make the best bed partners and you can take that anyway you want but not to the bank where they steal it from you. . . .Bank Of America comes to mind; they take your house, your car, your child's advanced education in another vocational school for jobs that the Uncle Tom or should I say Uncle Romney. That child of pot growers Mexico's cash crop. Avarice no matter how you dress it up remains greed good for them but for us po'folk disaster & bankruptcy.

Of Mormons I could speak about brain washed breeding stock women held in captivity – kiddy porn anyone? Truth is difficult to find but I know things that not even I want to report. Nice choir though. Reminds me upon discovery my father's Masonic Apron I said if you get buried in that I'll pass a quart of Glenlivet Single Malt Scotch Whiskey all over your corpse.

You see he was in life a social alcoholic invariably @ cocktail hour he submerged into a stupor while mother, his drinking buddy rocketed around the ceiling allergic to the stuff not gin but scotch and towards the end when she didn't come home she could be found @ The Greenwich Yacht club after a coupla days unconscious. I never had a father. He told me he found me behind a rock in the desert shat out of a buzzard but he was my best friend ever.

May he rest in peace God bless his soul. & dear old mom wanted me to be her girl and she da man.

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

120717 05:29 self knowing

Adam did know Eve as man & woman

or a herd of polliwogs amphibious become the glory of this species called mankind

viciously self destructive for what we kill kills us

No immunity granted though in retrospect desired

Mother

Shamelessly I wanted her to love herself and knew not then and know not now how to say or do what will make anyone love themselves To do this I have deconstructed my psyche and too well know my own dismissal of all things governmental or religious entering the abyss of me

Father

was a man who lived with us emotionally absent there but not there and when intoxicated became The Living Dead a Zombie breathing evaporating

Half-Brother

of furtive eyes watching ping-pong bifurcated his nose pressed @ net mid line What? His mask a uniform Eagle Scout rescuing a suicide blue gray dead mouth to mouth raping me of my heritage Commander Chuck E Cheese to some known as Commander Stephen Norman Spratt what the fuck chuck did you do to our father to make him in the end that last time I had him for a time as company sob? or S. O. B. = U

I know dad thought me insane and told you so I'm worthless in your eyes & my own

Sister

she loved me terrified I think she once said I'd thrown her down stairs and for a long long time flashed my rage at her innocent betrayal what to others would render them cinders she survived . . . perhaps she disremembers my abandonment of her in stroller Binney Park

That's my story in a thumb nail What about yours?

I'm bored with myself since as indicated those who carry much cannot enter *Heavens Gate but must divest everything naked guilty ashamed or not wealth being not what you have but what you leave behind nude

Think extrusion again and again becoming nothing no ego desire invisible maybe knowing the cartoon of yourself leaving even that behind not the collapsed circus tent but the kernels of pop corn lingering behind the leaves of weeds circus moved on the field vacant once more children laughter not lingering father's sobs nothing remains the grave?

Nothing!

My wish to have never been born an inverse vanity since in the presence of The Who whom I love unreasonably I am told to return to Hell this life in America Thank God anonymously again extruded not excreted

PS to those few who in silence pause a moment to read me I am neither cynical or skeptical since I know to well the lover who created us

*Heavens Gate aka the eye of the needle

Be well you & He

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

120717 0424 born anonymous in America

I didn't ask to be born anonymous in America When I was Startled now to realize mother's admonition to become as meaningless as a grain of sand within – She didn't say the the infinitude of the cosmos A dust mote in time meaningless infinitely less glorious than sand in any form Merely the memory of a mountain crushed reduced to a dust mote Then ever crushed farther elemental of what is to come Unknown

Within me are visions remembered better than everything else. Rude, arrogant, imposing my opinions on others like a wannabe candidate the Second Coming If so what would that look like? Jesus returned not to Jerusalem but Times Square waiting the Ball to drop? Or panhandling saying Brother can you Give me a Dime? I am Jesus The soon to become Christ Anointed

Were I so I'd know that to be Jesus there must be others like Mohammad to come who said let the mountain come to Me or Buddha long before me saying I don't want to return again never please I'm tired I won't go on the list is endless those who were born anonymous in time recycled What I see in your eyes dear God whenever I look at any person cat dog or log you writ enormous Too reverent to exist as flesh & blood I see you clearly and want to die coming back to being a dust mote in Your Lovely Eyes

Or

Are you God you who measure my sperm count blood pressure the intimate thoughts my fear and loathing in America Do I wear fishnet stockings and high heels prancing naked orgasmic or merely in my sleep the worst nightmare a trophy on your wall a prized consumer consumed sucked hollow of any worth other than perhaps to electrically resurrect me again to fuck me up fuck me over dick me around with you nose up my posterior inhaling my fetid fetishistic soul seeking good or God? May my dust make you sneeze evacuating explosively the fecal matter of you flecula sense of me you lemming 

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

120716 06:40 parting shot

“congress of baboons” = a herd of them or The Congress of These? United? States

With regret and profound sadness I review and parse the acts of unspeakable greed influencing the governance of 'we the people'

How could I otherwise entitle those who while wonderfully intelligent sell their morality and ethics to merchants by censuring the World Wide Web; than as whores?

Or, at the very least, addicted to power as an aphrodisiac like crack cocaine, those so addicted will sell their children for any pleasure to any John or Honkie who comes along for another fix.

The betrayal, for pay, of access to an education, for those who seek it world wide enabling the end of lunatic fundamentalist; those who kill instead of negotiate a right to their opinion or love. Is not merely foolish but criminal. And, or so I have faith in; in death these people this species accountable before God at the end of everything you've traded for a bowl of porridge the future of the world.

I speak only for myself who lacking an ego think more clearly and mankind by adoption is now my family for whom in humility I would advocate a right to a complete education. What you so glibly sold into slavery for the profit of people who regularly abort or otherwise steal my intellectual property. Note “Work for Hire” clause and Bill Gates while philanthropic is as guilty as any Mexican Cartel dismembering women for their amusement. Please refer to Carnegie Libraries resulting from his despicable abuse of labor. Those who profited by your theft only pander to the bored; to fuck with you is my pleasure.

Merely my opinion we collectively have become Murder, Rape, Torture, Major Violators of All Human Rights Liberties and pocket books or wallets, Inc. More simply stated as THE ULTIMATE SCHOOL FOR TERRORISM, Inc. ever known in human history.

What I think is common coin amongst the people you pretend to represent. Watch your 180/6; reality is not only eating us but destroying our nest at your leadership we've become that curious animal that shits in its nest.

Be well.

Be Glorious and Lead us to safety

. . . The reason Republicans want voter id is to better analyze the majority who have them in any form, think Facebook, I do know what you intentions are. Versus the poor who seldom vote Republican.

Disappear me and I will return a hydra your worst wet dream, not the good type but what you will need diapers for.

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

120716 03:33

I'm called Johnny by my family – just thought I'd let you know.

When I stared to keep a journal it would be written when alone; a precious commodity; absolute silence or dearly so adorable the night being the biggest teddy bear cuddly.

& I would return to infancy in a crib with Mozart long haired white mostly orange tabby purring . . . he lived a long time passing on when I was twenty-two. As Einstein said; “God hides in plain sight.” . . . obviously he knew God is love not eye for eye Republican

And then; "Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish."

But Mozart disappeared before I could talk, one of the legion of thinks/things feared I'd never know the why about. . . .Going to see Uncle John Gault, Walton, KY, astonishing there was MOZART! Mom would do such things, being a neat freak possibly seen, as in now, as anal retentive like most power geeks are. e.g. returning from my annual banishment I'd discover my toy box not bare but half so – empty/full? And being a child I'd bitch moan and wine – B.M.W. – Why would a Jew drive an automobile covered in the flesh of his wholesale slaughtered relatives/race? Is forgiveness a now a tenet or article of their sense of God? Possibly becoming more “Christian” than 'christian' like we pretend to be? Forgive me please my digressions and inflictions please I implore.

I have no idea who reads me; mostly women? Judging by the respondents, four and counting, they are my friends. However being a Hospice Volunteer, rare being male, at least on the outside, in I rarely mention it as the best time of my life: joy, ecstasy and humiliation.

Why humiliation?

Well, girls and boys get together, or long to do so; mostly. I remained a boy hormonal obsessed with the rockets red glare going off even now . . . boys love superficially and often while – Women love deeply and seldom . . . or was that selectively?

Being a woman now that I have a Harem of Guys is a vastly more costly proposition than being a boy who stands up to pee. Whereas mentioned previously woman are multiorgasmic much more better & refractory adj TOO! They, women, girl or crone are subject to a multiplicity of ills and knowings that boys know nothing about and could care less.

Oddly like angels we are same same inside merely different outside meaning what we see when looking at with lust or desire or unconsciously covetous but all that lust and fucking is costly too, as previously stated we're 3 Billion over capacity and these pissant politicians whores for The US Catholic Bishops Counsel who virtually live in the congress of baboons offices selling their brand of divinity. Whores that they are the politicians know which side their daily bread is buttered on and to hell with girls who must now give birth to Uncle Bob's get.

In recent time, discussing my ­-- dummy me – writing up a two to two hundred fifty word description of a yard sale attempting to glean the assholes cutting of our budget to fill the vacuum while they give themselves bonuses . . . I play with a 50 to 75% reduction of pay, benefits, and now, I repeat no on going profit in office or afterward. That is without consideration their insider trading trafficking on the families whose homes were stolen currently living on the street lucky to find an abandoned car for shelter eating out of dumpsters – now – maybe – forever.

The topic of conversation was: “How much time do I have to produce the copy?” During the ensuing dialog the fact of how I triage and parse my time came up: “Who's you ideal playmate? ______ . I replied for me it would be Ava Gardner @ any age.

Then I said; the problem for me is that I've no time for that, should she appear at my door naked or nude cooing, “oh Johnny, Jack or Jacob fuck me; I'd spank her ass with my keyboard and then tell her, either, get lost or I'll pull the plug deflating you now for later future play. . . .I have room for you on a shelf in my closet; or would you prefer the refrigerator?

M&m make more love over Formica tables in public than most will ever know in an eternity of resurrection or reincarnations and I think that's what friends are for. God can you hear me laughing . . . or is it You or an echo?

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

illustration from http://www.famousquotesandauthors.com/random_quotes.html random choice this date's collection


120715 09:44 self revelation inappropriately so


Attending Sexual Additioniction Anonymous; There are several groups of approximately the same name and intention; National. If not listed in the telephone book your location use the web or ask around. For God's sake don't be shy. I was at first.


I came to know a man slightly senior to me trained in social work with a minor in psychology He was forever hitting me up for free rides, here & there hither & yon, a real pain in the sit down He shared that he had a girl friend wheelchair bound with MS in rapid state of decline – the eventual end is slow I know because I have another friend having the same problem, genetic predisposition, I'd lent aid to his dying brother. 


In time one is unable to swallow, there are many things worse than death MS is the lesser than Parkinson's or Alzheimers; a slow shutdown of a once viable life starving to or suffocating slowly to death.


In any case after elaborate arrangements, I helped him move, he arranged for this woman to be nearby for regular fellatio . . . I still pray for them both. Though since our banishment from The Garden of Eden for eating the fruit of judgment good &/or evil. . . . or merely Bad. It may well be that she adored him and merely gave him blow jobs as a tip for the groceries he brought her; I was the chauffeur and never saw her save through his witness.


My lifelong study of my suicide was/is/attended by a fetish for feminine underclothes slippery panties principally but bras and slips will do pantyhose never. Once knew a recently divorced black woman who allowed me to play with hers while wearing them – but she called the “drawers' – just to jerk my chain, promising deep throat. Never happened but she would call me once in a great while seeking a hook up that also never happened lamentably.


Even Kurt Vonnegut mentioned them, panties, with an illustration in, Breakfast of Champions. My point is that once initiated they remain barely contained constrained or controllable . . . 


(brief aside Word Web, Websters, Oxford and American Heritage . . . Tom Wolf's preference Carol his former lover then mine told me so . . . Google's Chrome Dictionary is gonna eat you all alive; faster than http://www.thefreedictionary.com/: deeper but slower i.e. idée fixe: a fixed idea; obsession – Think Tea Party, Milt Romney, conservatism, greed is good, selfishness more better or lunatic fundamentalist Islam or Christian, having your fathers baby no abortions by rapist allowed sniper shot the Gynecologist use women as breeding stock cannon fodder for useless war at least profitable to the Military Industrial Complex Eisenhower mentioned before leaving office Foreign Aid bibs to dictators who promise rape of profitable natural resources. . . .) Oh yes and that Atlas Shrugged is a novel by Ayn Rand a Russian and guiding light to the glitterati, inc. our slave masters the bastards and bitches who own everything included my body but not my soul . . . by poll amongst those who know: United Heath Care a medical insurance company has a woman Chief Executive Officer compensated annually $103,000 + stock options and bonuses extra. AARP one of their largest customers. Had learned she had any part in denying my son or daughter health care . . . well I won't go into detail . . . what the fuck why not: I'd reach down her throat drawing her sphincter over her head and laugh watching her suffocating while prodding her with my AARP card. She wants not ever to see us the people she fleeces preferring instead locked gate communities and resorts where us tar babies can't get in since it costs $5,000 a day. Bye-the-Bye million has six zeros, had to look it upon, on Google of course my new primary browser Chrome, other wise I'd have expired from a nose bleed in their rarefied stratosphere.
Take an executive to lunch and eat him/her alive. . . .Merely a metaphor please Mr. Thought Police man drooling with thoughts of terrorist acts, sedition or treason. Since those good Patriot Act (s) by Howdy Dowdy & Uncle Bob left the stage a shambles another asshole waiting in the wings to 'make it better' Preemptive Strikes & Torture, Inc.


"A republican government is slow to move, yet when once in motion, its momentum becomes irresistible." -- Thomas Jefferson 
(1743-1826), US Founding Father, drafted the Declaration of Independence, 3rd US President


. . . I won't get paid for my endorsement by choice. That said I consider books erotic licking smelling fondling them and the oracle librarians their panties too, my mind wanders the cosmology in wonder at the meanings of words throughout recorded and before history. Those small innocuous characters coupling into new potentials. 


Fuck you Discovery & Chase, Inc. the most important card in my now raped wallet is my library card:)


Theology is the study and commentary on the existence and attributes of God or gods, and of how God or those gods relate to the world and, especially, to human existence and religious thought; more generally, it is the study of religious faith, practice, and experience, or of spirituality. It is sometimes contrasted with religious studies: theology is understood as the study of religion from an internal perspective (e.g., a perspective of commitment to that religion), and religious studies as the study of religion from an external (e.g., a secular) perspective.


Calvin's magnum opus
The opening chapter of the Institutes is perhaps the best known, in which Calvin presents the basic plan of the book. There are two general subjects to be examined: the creator, and his creatures. Above all, the book concerns the knowledge of God the Creator; but "as it is in the creation of man that the divine perfections are best displayed", there also is an examination of what can be known about humankind. After all, it is mankind's knowledge of God and of what He requires of his creatures, that is overall the issue of concern for a book of theology. In the first chapter, these two issues are considered together, to show what God has to do with mankind (and other creatures), and especially, how knowing God is connected with human knowledge.


To pursue that explanation of the relationship between God and man, Calvin adopts a traditional structure of Christian instruction used in Western Christianity, by arranging the material according to the plan of the Apostles' Creed. First the knowledge of God is considered as knowledge of the Father, the creator, provider and sustainer. Then it is examined how the Son reveals the Father, as only God is able to reveal God. And finally, the third section of the Institutes describes the work of the Holy Spirit, who raised Christ from the dead, and who comes from the Father and the Son to affect a union in the Church through faith in Jesus Christ, with God, forever.


If you hear someone repeat the same ideation or phrase expecting different results ignore them they are – insane.


Forgive me my trespass or infliction on your attention but I simply must explain my current totem not fetish: Commander Stephen Norman Spratt, my erstwhile half brother also known as Commander Chuck E. Cheese what the fuck did you do to dad that made him cry while telling me you'd get his inheritance since I made no children to receive his bequest a certainly not “that nigger child {my adopted daughter} He, sobbing now, said you pissant had helped him once? A dictated script you brain washed into him promising to throw his person bodily out of your care taking?


Did he ever tell you why I called him Hawk?


Unlike the Lamb/Lion I am the Dove/Hawk and I will eat you alive and shit you out at an appropriate altitude you to know & remember the punch line: 


“. . don't shit me now Hawk!”


Now when you speak before real men they will collapse laughing at you as I do now.


PS 


Did you know that like Dragons of yore this Hawk farts flames? That's a good thing Stephen you'll be a cinder before you hit the ground.

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved

120715 02:22 knowing

knowing more the unknown
humbles one to listen quietly learning
better the pronouncements of the Other
in silence is wisdom learned we arrive we live
& die merely one of trillions grains of sand within the hourglass passing

120715 06:41 knowing more

Memory serves me too well at times places blur worn smooth by a river of time

In a rare spontaneity my bride still after so many years lent down preparing to fellate me

Rarer she seemed to be willing to not just lick but suck fully an arrival from me.

Roaring up beside Lisa a rescue gaff rigged sloop came Gill Thorpe in his very powerful swift noise maker. I dropped my cap and she with aplomb straighten up

Hello Gill!

Mr. Thorpe was upper middle class a Drug Store owner beautiful wife and children living on Wickford Harbor Where there was a motive to 'improve' certain publicly held property a dock for commercial purposes He had once spoken to both of us saying “I don't like swimming in myself” He had lain down in front of enormous dump trucks to prevent the carnage to his not view but septic tank making it impossible to swim of a morning his exercise at home No other pool possible if so he'd had one.

I rarely forget context and behavior names often especially if ancillary to my narrative fall by the wayside Yet I remember faces and his daughter beloved of Randy . . . I measure my life by his death the before during and after . . . beautiful like her mother she was Randy's favorite babysitter . . . there was then a younger brother a family gorgeous posterity iconic.

Where are we now woven into a tapestry debt the whole Nine Yards standing above us hoarding everything required to survive Money become meaningless all told swimming in an universe of effluent Monetary values meaningless when not circulated politically neutered and we the slaves considering change of any kind to acquire pennies “In God We Trust” become a lie

Generosity like life is its own reward So too greed true not expansive but devalued and murder to boot suffocating in pennies valueless those who “In God We Trust” experiential real

Long curious “The whole nine yards” Caring capacity of an average dump truck became the roaring 40s latitude returning clipper ships sailed beneath waves full standing every sail drawing for speed – Typhoon – The men required to reef the sails off watch drown in their bunks & I with love imagine them and their ghost ships still sailing still beneath the brine

© 2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved