120707
16:02 sin
To
waste a life, a self, a consciousness, a soul, is a sin against the
creator and the self imperfect.
Yet
in all life lived I've never known a person perfect.
In
fact it may be a sin against God to place God above loving you as you
are; imperfect. I, a sinner, or merely imperfect, who in accepting
the confessions received, in subtle ways sometimes obvious never
solicited. I imply or state; Pray for me a sinner then go in peace
absolved. Their burdens lain aside for a time, or forever; but like
forgiveness, I've done my part. Most often blessing with a smile, or
tear, a touch or merely carrying them in my heart/mind/soul in
continual prayer; heart enlarged a bit more by degree not kind.
In
AA, if memory serves me, the term is sponsor. But for me mentor
serves better. Too well remembered the phrase for the learner:
pigeon. And there are those who are, in turn, pigeon fuckers.
Predators. Thus not trustworthy and in and of all things trust is
required. All teachers worthy of the title eventually realize the
learning/healing/answer is within the student. And the teacher, if
willing to learn, becomes a teacher taught, win/win or and/both never
either/or.
In
recent time I bemoaned not winning, placing or showing in a Feature
Shoot exhibition. The first I'd had the courage to enter potentially
losing at the only 'good thing' I'd ever done. Reaching backward
these few days past the saying and this realization. I now recognize
the importance of my impending death since the young need the space
to become themselves. At the time of my meteoric ascendancy
decapitated by the deaths of my children I was informed by those I
taught that I was the cause of their not becoming photographers. In
truth I knew the job statistics; not teaching photography as such,
but the art of seeing what you look at. Farther and only implied; the
why you saw as you did.
But
for now, no longer aggrieved, the me I wanted to be 'successful' as
in worthy of attention, acknowledgment, praise and reward, I am able
to enter the maelstrom of creativity using the play with words
unconsciously ongoing; always there from infancy. And in this humble
way know the joy sought.
Be
Here Now.
This
“Here” being within Eternity embraced by infinity. In a minor
way; what Rumi & Shakespeare were and for now remembered immortal
since we may soon lose the eyes & the minds to be their audience.
I
have always identified with those in need. Never the successful who
gloat and smirk at others judging themselves whole and complete;
superior. Yet even in that an inverse ego is revealed; what I need
ridding of.
Atonement
for wanting to love my mother into loving herself was vastly more
than wanting to get laid. In confessing that, the wake and burial
following, entered an new dimension; an unfilled longing for more. If
you want more and more you are addicted and my more was love that I
could trust possibly attended by sexual play ignoring all the wealth
I have need for nothing else the end of more.
Then,
via the Internet, in response to my blog, a woman asked to be my
friend. A dialog ensued. Within which, oddly, all my longing was
healed & fulfilled. No 'happy ending,' no touch, no enveloping
lubricity ending in the divine “O”; not getting 'laid.' Just a
dance of words. Though there is, or could be, so much more, I can now
die happy knowing this divine bliss; a woman who in dancing with
methe highest form of prayerfinds what I thought of myself
unacceptable, accepted; as I am and want to be. That impossible
being; what was impossible with mom; for, from or within.
We
are not things, expendable cyphers, but unique and worthy of love and
respect the indwelling creator who equally is invisible needing to be
found.
.
. . and when you see Him/Her living beneath a bridge say hello for me
please. Ignoring those who say or imply you are merely this or that
an object of their contempt.
We
are an army of giants in need of being who we are; souls in process
becoming whatever we want to be. . . . Mostly freedom from tyranny.
120708
01:28 pooch
An
unspeakable knowing of puppies known
in
North America, as “fucking the pooch”
Thinking
is a sensing function, an inherent way of seeing one depends . . . .
(Note:
Not the adult diaper, a registered Trade Mark, begins with a capital
'D' representing a coping with what is inevitable. The result of
mindless consumption mysterious and of unknowable consequence, wildly
profitable food modifications – or as a result of adult men
fisting, anally one another or just one.
Please
see disambiguation: my two most
favorite political figures Howdy Dowdy & Uncle Bob otherwise
known as President Bush the younger and Momma’s Boy coupled with or
by Vice-President Cheney the greatest terrorist since Genghis Kan
spoken of or at the very least alluded to in previous posts.
Also
see Alzheimer's the evacuation of brain matter which, like our
savings, homes, advanced education of children, automobiles, Social
Security etc. . . .where did the money go?)
.
. . on. In the immature adult, what once was admired; depended upon
exclusively: while there are another three: feeling, sensing, and
intuition.
Farther
investigation might be profitable please see: “Chinese Curse” at
Wikipedia or Google It--for a broader array of . . . before the
politicians expunge not only the resource but we who seek it freely.
. . oh well.
The
balance of these four sensing functions (seeing/experiencing the
World and Important Values) historically was known to have been in
the prescription of very few individuals, namely Jesus, but this
author sees similar proclivities and penchants in other known leaders
Mohammad, Buddha and so on who either died in their sleep or where
expunged, redacted or merely murdered as is most often the response
of those who “think” only.
In
this authors view(s) an attempt has been made to simplify as: sheep
or goat, those who steal or those who give . . . the first being
murders and the latter sacrificially murdered or ignored.
Albeit
there is another system of personality categorization known as the
Enneagram about which there is little common knowledge since it was
derived from mystical Islamic oral tradition. And as is obvious
hysterically suspect since one lunatic faction of Islam destroyed the
Cathedral of Greed also known as, variously 9/11 or, The World
Towers.
A
personal opinion: Had the 'Powers that Be' namely the “Thinkers”
been not so anal retentive, controlling/manipulative, it would be
obvious the attack itself would have been impossible, had the command
& control center been wide spread throughout the nation.
“Thinkers”
tend to only see what they want to see, or, are subject and object of
their thoughts magically caught in the concept and execution of those
they perceive as a threat to their greed. Jesus was murdered not by
Jews but by Scribes and Pharisees; the thinkers and lawyers of that
time.
Imagine
we the people owning a candy store requiring a manager. While we go
about the serious business of: raising our children, maintaining
shelter and acquiring food. In our absence the employee becomes
curious sampling the candy. Upon our periodic return we discover the
the store broken apart and employee grown enormous, the mouth of the
candy jar worn like jewelery with pride. And then the manager wants a
bonus. In this instance we do not have a choice; the reward of
failure is more. Obsessive Compulsive Addiction to candy.
Perhaps
we need define differently, economy, as neither free market
capitalism or socialism or communism. Could we think in terms of
collaboration?
.
. . Discovered after the above written; please read and make your own
discernment.
A Sistine Chapel fresco depicts the expulsion of Adam
and Eve from the garden of Eden for their sin of eating from the
fruit of the Tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
©
2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved
