arrival

We, Annie and I, arrived July 7^th 17:15. She was the first to be offloaded. Then into an upstairs bedroom with attic attached quarantine for her gradual introduction to the resident pets: two dogs. One male, smaller than herself. The other female weighing about forty pounds. So far I’ve more often slept with Annie, than Pam, as it has been our custom for the past five years.

I am surprised by my dreams here., being very concerned from the beginning that Annie fit in. Recently I awoke remembering John Steinbeck’s novella Red Pony. While refreshing my memory, I was younger than ten when mom read it to me, I was staggered to realize now why she wept so hard while reading it to me. And why I still suffer grief for my children and Rags (a cat I had to put down for ‘out-of-box’ behavior) who had lived with me since he was a kitten.

Between ideal and real are light years of separation. I am reminded, again, of how little I can protect those I love from harm, or the simple vicissitudes of life. We each in our lives, seem to be a vessel, into which events occur or happen that we are incapable of preparing for. Each does the best we can with what we have and then must let the devil take the hindmost. Or do I mean destiny, fate or God?

130710 07:07

There I stopped, stunned to realize it was the anniversary of a friend’s husband who died eleven years ago. As she says of him now; “Leaving me behind . . . “And it is she who I love similarly to Pam, and she who made Pam a realization. Each of us, the three of us, has had events that irrevocably changed our lives—usually by suffering and/or loss—that we then attempt to reconcile and redeem in the ordinary of such, or what, life is left to us afterwards.

Traveling I could brook no distractions: radio or audio books. Instead my thoughts were of the three I mention M, Pam and myself. Accompanied by with gratitude for those who made the move possible. And celebrated it for the promise of a new life upon my arrival.

Having arrived, I now sense there is a seamless continuity, an organic wholeness, inherent and obvious to me manifest in these past two months. For which many played a part; yet the effort required by the transition nearly killed me. I had sincerely expected to die leaving the task to others completely. Instead I was compelled to examine each memento and choose to either dispose of or carry forward the evidence of my now former life.

130711 EDT 15:45

Closing thoughts. Annie adventured down stairs this morning and seems to feel at home. I now sense I will be able to fully unload the car and settle in. In the coming days I anticipate her curling up with with the two dogs, Pam and I, upon the bed of an evening, one happy and fully integrated family home at last.

Be well.

130709 EDT St Johnsbury VT 13:33 new home

© 2013 by Jack Spratt—All Rights Reserved