tides of time

Adversarial i’ve been near eternally measuring the dragon within become intercessional. Stood on my keel upright the sea sucked from beneath me in Hatteras. Then floated by High Moon Tide. Woe turned weal astonished. Drown in profound gratitude.

A child of my time, in love with the entire pallet of vocabulary, vernacular, as well the King James of Willy Shakes; Hip Hopping in his. Afeard of myself no longer, as always a fool, for love. The tides of time by language defining what it is to live free at last. The pearl inside born of grit nurtured by slander as well as affirmations symbiotic. Greedy Needy for the latter but of the former able to subsist hard scrabble.

Too long ago to accurately remember, the periodicity and number of my prayers for Randy; my long dead son, dying at 10 years-of-age. Remembering only several details burned into my mind through touch, my hand upon his sweaty sleeping head. The wounds of my grief are healed; no longer stabbing the suppuration’s as I did, but now celebrate that they ever were, briefly, mine to steward.

Immeasurable: the height, width, breadth, depth of love—God actually. Within all my searching, finding threads of inspiration: within the voices of others. Absent my former fear they were the enemy opposition and our imagined dialogs a collective monolog. Chagrined, now my sense that they too where singing similar psalms differently to the same interlocutor.

The peace I know is possible by dialog with “Had She Said Yes” saying yes to my sincerely articulated yes to her; as and where she is. We are two time zones away from one another, for now. As we spoke last evening she began to slumber compelling memories of Randy, Johanna, Jodi all missing now . . . odd or not I thought I am both lover and father to her submerging into sleep . . . possibly defining my relationship as even keeled as it is since were she my daughter I would pray for her best but do so in any case emergent between us.

Obviously my feelings, thoughts, intuition and sense are beyond the boundaries defining appropriate relationship between two people of consenting age and mutual consent. By abstract or experience I could define and/or argue the issue in many ways. Such concerns are trivial to me having incorporated my conclusions regarding the numinous speaking through many disciplines. My sense is: love transcends all boundaries, time, this world we inhabit and all prejudicial definitions regarding gender associations.

Does my mind and soul reside in a different time zone? Yes. Of course. I speak from my dreams of time before time was measurable. And I pray I am wrong, since I sense equally, that there will be a time when time will be forgotten.

Thus this intercession for us; we all the community and family of life.

- Irena Sendler

"Every child saved with my help and the help of all the wonderful secret messengers, who today are no longer living, is the justification of my existence on this earth, and not a title to glory." http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wikiquote:Quote_of_the_day/May#15

To close: I sense the child within the all of a woman, men as well tho men bore me generally remaining children growing old, not up, then dying. My concern regarding abortion is that we must weigh both the mother and child lending an understanding the both may be lost in law. My sense regarding the Law of Love is: Free Will. Add: I was followed by another child one year after my birth: aborted. And then later on did father a child with another woman: aborted. It follows that my concerns are well informed by experience and weighted towards the freedom of choice. Least we further enslave women who absent equality will leave us dancing upon one foot.

. . . add, please: The keeper is kept.

Muse: flame, fuel, combustion firing the wick I am.

130515 01:29 MDT tides of time

© 2013 by Jack Spratt—All Rights Reserved