Dancin'

To say I've flim-flammed the FBI & Secret Service is no lie, nor boast, just the facts Mam.  But then I'd been working for their boss at the time. My dream suggests that I have a too easy familiarity with authority, resented by those who watch me tap dance my way through life. Blessing and curse I've just discovered it my major problem interfacing with bean counters and failed lawyers; all more-or-less ambulance chasers living off the suffering of others.

Odd to think of myself as Wile E. Coyote http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEFmFMeXV3E.

The divine education continues by various means, measures and rods of measurement. My point being: to unlearn all that I was taught by parents, teachers and schools; especially The Greenwich (Connecticut, USA) Board of Education.

I am talking about The Big I AM upstairs. All the rest, from The White House down to the local administrators are superfluous; pikers and wannabes.

"The sins of the Father rest upon the son . ." or something to that dyslexic perception of mine. Means: The sins of the parent (mom or dad or both) rest upon the child (see http://bible.cc/isaiah/14-21.htm) . . . there is so much more discovered in what I sought, enough for many posts.

I am thinking of a vision I received long ago; that of two funnels conjoined; a variant of a speaking and/or hearing trumpet: glass, floating in space. With? A confessional screen between the two??? It suits my following metaphor: of myself a moth drawn to the fiery light hitting the screen like filter and separating essentials from chaff.

I sense now, at times, I write to redeem myself and my parents; who's behavior was less than instructive but more destructive to all that I might otherwise have been or become had I the confidence than that holding me now; feeding my vain pursuits into The Fargo Shredder. Emergent not a pink mist but reconfigured; a kinda mystery meat--me.

If as I do now understand apprehend and celebrate the purpose of pain, obviously not self-inflicted, but borne as I have, I have loved my parents regardless of their intents or absence thereof. In forgiving them I am better able to begin having compassion for myself. In some small measure learning to love me, as I am, or was, regardless what I become . . . a dust mote racing around infinity becoming less daily. A zero: nothing.

These dialogs are not for me alone, but us, all of us, potential to be all that we are yet deny capacity for. Fear makes us small, growing smaller and meaner as we progress towards death. I can prove nothing save to tell, or witness, what happens daily now.

However should you ask it will be given.

Think in the final moments before slumber what troubles or celebrations you have. The reply may take a lifetime to understand but the simple awe of being attended is beyond speech.

In closing; I doubt I have done due homage to the gift awakening me. Possibly lost in my normal mechanics of greeting the next time of being vertical and still alive. I lie not since I do die in bliss and at times wish never to awaken again.

Yet I do, and for what I know better daily. Governance and religion are what they are, human institutions about, but not, God. Truth? And being such go only so far and no farther. It is up to we who care for the life of love, and love of life, to do what is asked and what we are capable of doing no harm. Healing this world, crushed beneath the false god of Mammon.

As for myself, I have enough, yet in giving it away make room for more. In the process all my dysfunctions have been, or are being, healed; integrated reconciled and redeemed. This is priceless beyond any value I can name otherwise.

"You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal part of your body love what it loves." - Mary Oliver

http://www.featureshoot.com/2012/11/you-dont-own-me-mitt-romney/

121104 01:11 MDT dancing
© 2012 by Jack Spratt - All Rights Reserved