. . . for the commonweal of all life!
Can't say her name, because of HIPPA and Medicare; besides Mesilla Valley Hospice and minions will have another rhinoceros. . . . But she passed away the day I decided to leave Hospice.
Where the few who cared to know me . . . maybe love me just a little bit . . . knew me a writer using the forum of Journal Keeping as a matrix to publish with.
Otherwise I simply kept mum about it. Wisely as it now seems. Yet even those curious enough to ask what I did for my spare time or Second Job; I'd say; "I write."
"What do you write about?"
"God" walking away attending to another request for whatever.
Could be; maybe not. Perhaps her last whispered words, those mouthed but never heard. See, it takes a very long time for some of us to die. And come to think about it; Jesus had it real good. Dying in what? Three days? Not sure. But you should know that there are lots of things worse than death. Parkinson's disease being but one of them. Long time, taking maybe a decade to do the deed.
She was there my first day on-the-job-training. Not theory but reality. At that, maybe, not sure, but she'd been there two years before; on her back waiting; refusing to die. I came to love her in my way feeding her early before my shift began. Two days a week, four hours each. If things were slow, the population low, I’d take off after four hours. Otherwise I would stay until it calmed down again
Never thought of it before writing the last sentence. All my working life was parachuting in, hitting the ground running forward towards trouble. Not knowing what to expect: adapt, improvise, prevail. Maybe that's why I laugh at my own death? A little bit like my first child; Randy. Celebrate beginnings and endings. What really matters is the middle part: Life. Either of quiet desperation or OFU sometimes, at other's, just smile and get on with it.
Her birthday is Valentines Day. I won't bore you with my associations; after all this is not fiction or something to amuse you. It is my truth . . . the experience of discovering God is as really REAL! This is about you, not me or God. Dare I say? We're here for you!
Not extensive, but curious, I did look up Saint Valentine thinking he must be something special. Discovered there were four of them! Which one did my distant 'relative' a Catholic Priest in Dublin. Petitioned the Pope for a Holy Day? “Holiday?” Oh well. The parasite merchants. Those who's sole purpose, or so it would seem after listening to the Vice-Presidential Debates. Is to live off the sweat of other people’s toil and work. That is the essential nature of usury: Criminal. They create nothing but personal wealth and then pervert the laws of our nation to validate SELFISHNESS!
Nothing is hidden from God. Get over attempting to hide jerking off, occasionally wearing mommies panties over your head. God, is, in fact far more forgiving that you or I would imagine. Little boy and girl saints love one another BUT don't fool around sexually; just like Angels.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is a wonderful example of a Nazi Musselman. Or just another example of a spoiled child attempting to be better than his dad.
" I teach you beyond Man (superman). Man is something that shall be surpassed. What have you done to surpass him? " -Nietzsche
My question, based upon personal experience and lengthy inquisition of my father is: why do we attempt to emulate and/or surpass our parents? Try as hard as I will, or might, God is insuperable. In a sense, Jesus having died to prove His point. What can I do or say to top that?
After the thousands of pages written, most destroyed or abandoned, I have begun to see an emergent pattern. A covert direction for my Self/Soul.
Inactive, indecisive, previously, or mostly all of my life. I've changed. Could it be that the balance between work and faith is an example of the same issue expressed as being, in Arnold's case, 49% female and 51% male.
Maybe those who witnessed Jesus naked discovered He was a hermaphrodite? Unwilling to acknowledge his torture the Popes screwed the pooch by having him in diapers; nice and clean no shit, no piss. Atypical of a capital punishment designed to destroy the illusion of being: The King of The Jews. Assassination or sanctioned murder by both the Hebrews and Rome? Talk about free market socialism! Or possibly George Orwell's Animal Farm wherein the PIGS are more equal than the rest of us mere farm animals.
I love playing with these questions. Theology bores me to tears. But I love eating politicians for lunch and stock brokers, bankers, commodities speculators, ticket scalpers, and Pay Day Loan Business any time for a snack. I used to think I had to be an artist ethereal or cutting off my ear. For me it was an either/or question. Through writing a journal I came to listen to the other more analytical sophist part. So I am astonished to recognize being both methodical and ecstatic. All my problems solved, not exclusively by my perception or judgement, but by balancing, reasonably all the component parts equally = and/both. I am a soul redeemed both by choice and by God.
Free Will meet the Judge!
These are just words. Take them as you may--or can--or don't read me at all. I care more for you than I care if you read me. So go read yourself.
I know God sends a few of us along every once in awhile just to season the stew. Or heady brew of cupidity and dictators who want women exclusively as breeding stock so they can overpopulate the world with more Mormons or Catholics?
What do you think?
I remain essentially a universal Protestant. All women should be taught to think for themselves exclusive of the urge to merge and make life for children who will never have a future in this world. Not a prophet I am convicted that we must presume the current course of action and options terminal. When requested I say grace “remaining ever mindful of the needs of others (especially the widows, divorced mothers, their children, the AIDS babies all over the world but predominantly in Africa where politicians emulate American Leaders as dictators.
I'm not perfect, you're not perfect, They are not perfect (Democrats or Republicans) and that's okay by me and by God. But there is consequence to everything. Nothing is for naught or nothing is for nothing. There are no accidents. Saying I’m sorry won’t cut it.
God being perfect informs me that it is our choice formed by informed consent; not the current circumstance. Thanks in large measure to Republican shenanigans. Use your consciousness and add those who lie about and to you.
My secret is that I know Hell. After all I live there and have been living here for seventy-two years. Add to which: God willing and the creek don't rise. Mr. Bert Crisp, Jr. will be here lording over me his divinely given landlords privilege of throwing my skinny, wrinkled posterior out into the rush hour traffic . . . add to which I have a very strong instinct and intuition that J. L. Gray is not only cooking the books, like the Federal Government, but equally running a crooked set bilking the Human Urban Development folks out of tax payer's money. Facts can and do lie. Or like logic become the wanton whore for the use of any man capable of paying the price.
Are we For Sale?
My prayer for you for me for us is that we find good trust and truth individually. Then wherever two or more are gathered together there will be authority of, We The People! not just one more spoiled brat Republican, the Koch Brothers, Inc. & their expenditures to throw the will of us under a passing municipal bus. I am conservative of ancient truths self evident.
121012 01:11 Saint Who?
©2012 by Jack Spratt - All Rights Reserved
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