Jack Spratt

all my friends from childhood are dead or utterly other than they were
and of them i remember our times together with fondness bordering on obsession since in their presence I was able to escape the barrage of indifference i abandoned and despised defined myself
by
&
by
that I remember how I'd describe my love for them my parents who to me seemed gazing balls lawn ornaments shedding my love for them like rain off the roundness of their apparent indifference to me
but
&
then
i learned that i described myself taught to despise my self indifference shedding the love of others massive gifts to me & of those friends best remembered and attended to now is God for whom and to whom i've become nothing at all no self as we dance upon air the Aeolian harps the hearts we touch
yet
i still play games with roles
what
is
or
was it like to give birth after virgin insemination or be raped like the Jews or Russians by their 'parent' government the 6 & 60 millions it follows in order to integrate the rape and slavery of mankind i must become the rapist and slayer there finding what we destroy is ourselves the hammer blows upon our victims make us small mean petty and despicable to ourselves and of our victims tempered steel swords of truth to slay or capture the psychopaths who would destroy everything competing to define the true meaning of life as meaningless a trillion bodies piled like cord wood never buried suffocating myself in my meanness never dying but never living or breathing forever
i
am
a
man
to two too in a tutu
soon
to die
and perhaps arise again by God's will or remain as those self condemned merely in hell forever happy for these few moments in heaven's regard the greatest joy i've ever known

120803 07:20 friends  ©2012 by Jack Spratt All Rights Reserved