I am loved now, with a transparency inconceivable and lifetime longed for.
There is no motive to redact, vacate or expunge past relationships. Nor to rationalize and thus avoid responsibility for not being able to receive the love proffered. Nor is it a clever recitation of Rumi’s recommendation, “that we seek the barriers within ourselves.” I humiliate myself, the greed for love, buried within my profess to others. Rendering my expression of love, seen retroactively, a manifestation of need/greed. Fill me please -- I’m on empty.
The term, “inappropriate loyalty,” is not indicative of disloyalty to those loved and loved still--present, past or future. In point of order. I awoke filled with gratitude and recognition my ongoing love for the Anglican Communion, expressed in America as The Episcopal Church. That I have not attended ‘church’ in years does not mean I don’t still love it. My communion is with hospice now; the staff, patients and volunteers. Is it false to say that I celebrate peace and gratitude daily wearing that consciousness as an invisible skullcap or vestment? My sense is that of continual prayer not isolated to forty-five minutes one day per week. In the end if I am not accepted as loyal then I have less meaning or value than a grain of sand.
120421 00:51
. . . that was then, this is now, the wheel turns grinding my vanity to a finer dust. The future lover, fact to face, will be God. The personage of many names who awoke me again with the simple sense/message that I adore writing. It is nearly obscene; the laughter and tears spiraling around in my head. My sense of humor is that I might just be ‘crucified’ chemically or at the very least incarcerated in The Cuckoo’s Nest. OM the ALL is primary yet there is nearly equal protest the injustice of the 6 Million and the 60 Million Russians and the millions of lives sacrificed to end the insanity.
"Not being able to govern events, I govern myself." --Michel de Montaigne
I need regurgitate, at least here, my snarky skepticism regarding the choices of those representing my nationality. My chosen vocation, as in “The Shoe Maker should stick to his last,” is tending my soul and the souls of those who care to follow the communion/community of Higher Consciousness.
I am incited by a recently heard remark from a man whose dedication for justice I respect, if not actually admire: Elie Wiesel. Is that Snarky? Inferred or implied, given his age, a bit more antique than I, he will have words with God about the 6 Million. Ignoring completely the 60 Million.
Free Will is not a comfortable dodge, nor is Democracy, in reality, not how we are governed. Neither is easy to take responsibility for, to participate or process . . . any more than it is easy to do the same for our self/soul/mind. All institutions and nations, in one form or another, solicit the franchise of God as absolute power and force. Prancing about vainly decrying their choices as justice retributively delivered.
All God’s children are in the same sandbox with God. There is no “Let Mikey do it.”
Those who profit from crimes against humanity, on both sides, miss the message: “Thou shall not kill.”
And in closing may I remind us that God by any name, in recent history--the minor part of our recorded time on Earth--is essentially now defined as beneficent, slow to anger, merciful . . . go on read it, Paul said it better in: 1 Corinthians 13 . . . essentially Love not Retributive.
“THERE IS NO GOD HIGHER THAN TRUTH,” Gandhi, who forgave his assassin.
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