100112 05:14
Journal keeping has been a primary healing commitment for many. A few have become famous for the effort but the purpose is to become whole and in process towards the full potential of your self--whatever that self wants to be.
It is now obvious that I personally need to go-as-far-as-it(I)-goes. Furthermore that my motives, once thought insanely excessive, was considered personally important for C. G. Jung as well.
Recent activities have lead me to realize that I not only edit whatever I read but additionally analyze everything in process; experiencing difficulty staying “on message” and usually writing my own novel in process, if in fact I am reading one at the time. My analogy is witnessing the process of making movies thus I am generally unable to enter the flow without deconstructing the process technically. That said I now realize a new dimension; being hyper-vigilant, I tend to give all weight to the author of any experience; intent, message, body language et cetera. In a sense I am deconstructing my psyche both in this journal-ling process and in the ordinary of my life experience.
It is now much easier for me to see a feasible transition/departure point between fact and fiction or poetry.
My ‘problem’ is common to all people, yet what is uncommon in me is my growing self-respect and that to whatever end is implied or suggested--in addition to a longing to help/heal others like myself who are/were taught they had no brains and no life worthy of love or attention.
“17:28
Gravid with light the days grow distended with organic promise, the longest tumid night of depression fled. My spirit soars towards the next longest day another annual to live. My soul doth magnify life lifting all with me towards the future confident the sun burning away the tears of mankind; the indwelling spirit magnificent.
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