‘Winters of discontent.’

091214 07:18
I’ve had many ‘Winters of discontent.’
And within those long nights, longed never to wake up.
Without reference to my daily expanding journal of quotations; I do transliterate them, now, accepting a newly discovered sense of great and humble thoughts as seeds attempting to leach the rain from my darkest frozen night, rain/snow clouds.
The torrent of my tears, resulting, is blest best in solitude since they do alarm even me. Happily they, being my tears, will drown no one except myself in joy, become bliss, then pacific, humble, gratitude; serenity.
. . . or acceptance, the foundation of love.
I’ve no idea why, or for what, this has been bestowed upon me. Accustomed to hard-scrabble subsistence farming daily reality. Yet in reflection upon all of what was then, and is now, my life I am discovered wandering unfamiliar pathless deserts lead by a distant, yet to loom light; a star? A new day? Or as I spoke, and thus stunned myself, yesterday; “Today is the first and last day of eternity”?
Did I say that?
What does it mean; “Be Here Now”?
I’ve said, and seen, the slogan so often it remained a pebble in my mouth become a bolder. Metaphorically, i once was a lemming now become a dragon, overleaping the cliffs of life and soaring amongst the stars within my heart.
It is not for self-pleasure that I write but for my love of humanity with all its warts, wattles and wrinkles seen when I briefly shave in mirrors should I be so constrained, or obligated, to leave my crib. Let us not speak of, or praise ‘Morning Dragon Mouth’ -- ‘Bad Hair Day ’ Please. Least I slay myself with exhaust.
Of Doves & Seeds--“they neither reap nor sow” and from whom &/or why am I fed like the birds i feed daily? In and of myself I am now voluntarily impelled to be servant as those or he who in servitude saved me from myself loathing.
I love women inordinately yet would never enslave another to my imposition again. How do I know this? Mother was taught to despise being a woman and I, the worst evidence.

Now go in peace rejoicing tranquility past all comprehension, apprehending fear never more. . . .Awaiting the near day celebration of the eve all new creation.