091227 19:36
Periodically I fall into a bottomless well concerned that I have gone, and lead you, astray.
I am a passionately political animal. In Junior High School, Riverside, Connecticut, I led the Republican half of all debates until our Social Studies teacher took me aside to answer a question. “There are many things I cannot teach due to parental pressure and restrictions.“
My interest in politics and news events disappeared.
I read many resources, mostly alternative to commercial broadcasts, and listen to National Public Radio--sometimes consistently, and at other times I fall to weeping and don’t return for days. I have made of myself a television virgin, not having or viewing one for three years.
That said, I am now moving into an arena of the eternal versus temporal.
I enjoy writing about the options available to everyone having discovered them in my self and the simple, yet profound truth that I have been saved from insanity, as defined by Albert Einstein; “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
We, as children, love our parents regardless their choice, behavior and what they tell us to do in life. It has taken me many loses, not the least being my children, to fully apprehend the intention of parenthood; to enable the child to survive in a cruel and indifferent world.
My focus in this case is for those of use who received negatives instead of positive attention: abuse instead of love.
We are a people of significant gifts buried beneath lies bequeathed to us from our parents legacy received from theirs. In the past twenty-four hours I have been lead to understand most of the specifics as described in current psychological research.
I was addicted to dysfunctional relationships; starting with my parents. Initially the sense I now see myself in past choices to fulfill what was implied by their abandonment, rejection and teaching me exactly how incompetent and unworthy of their love they saw me as being.
I have had many dreams that, seen in retrospect, now make perfect sense. And I know, we all dream, both in sleep and life. And in most part retain conclusions drawn from those painful encounters with authority. Worse, we seek partners who replicate our parents dysfunctions and attempt to heal people by helping them cross streets they don’t want to cross. Then, when children result biologically or adopted we do to them what was done to us, knowing nothing better to address the inevitable issues and trials life and death; theirs or ours.
What I suggest is a simple, safe, personal, free healing that is available to everyone. It starts by listening to yourself independent the approval or censure of others.
We are a powerful people and our love is valuable to all others since we are persistent and obviously loyal. But our loyalty is misdirected to parents who no long are present and our lives gone awry because of their teachings.
Using myself, as I am now, I realize, accept and celebrate that I entered my whole life, becoming judge, jury, advocate and execute my daily life free, forgiving and loving both myself and my parents.
If I did it, so can you.
No comments:
Post a Comment