120602 09:25
    Most often I seek seeing the good as a willow-of-the-wisp more a vagrant breeze or dragonfly upon my shoulder for hours across Narragansett Bay sailing cat's paws upon landfall dad calling out to a man nearby digging for clams toes embedded in the shoals beneath us; “What state is this?”
    She was Lisa,the vessel bearing us, resurrected a ruin from hurricane tossed aside ashore and very shallow of draft centerboard up she could sail downwind in six inches of water. Such are the mediums of dreams informing me of the why but not the how to write.
    Children I write for the child who was and returned to dance in joy before The All knowing we are essentially children lost in a thicket of lies conceits vanities vagaries sold for profit power and control by merchants selling the same thing with different labels “good, Better, BEST!
    Though he left me penniless alone often and finally I weep for the joy of knowing him at all his greatest and final bequest a soft shoe shuffle laughing in jest touching all comers blest with his healing joy in the moment healing embrace.

    Epochs ago long before time recorded I longed to make love with mother who despised being a woman in her turn made me despise being a man nascent of course then but neutered nonetheless through her many masks of joy rage suffering pleasure I watched her for those explosions of whichever came next chimerical as time-lapse movie reprise her moods mercury dropped from a great height splashed and writhing about in whatever
    Of course she gone long ago buried her using The Episcopal Prayer Book ritual form reading in turn each phrase beyond required a paean delaying interment forgiven now surprised my longing rehearsed over and again with others Women/Woman only but understanding celebrating the sacrament of union between all healing touch fusion.
    Of joy and suffering I am familiar indifference too abandoned never abandoning not really since as obvious I carry them all within the precincts of consciousness beloved impossible unions flesh and spirit willing able yet celibate since to dance with God must be danced alone save for winters dance naked in deserted moonlight we all dance circles for a time rapturously

--George Balanchine
“I am a choreographer. A choreographer is a poet. I do not create. God creates. I assemble, and I will steal from everywhere to do it.”

“God loves each of us as if there were only one of us.” --Saint Augustine of Hippo

120602 12:44
    Sorrow seldom visited with such depravity I bereft fall in despair generations to come educated if at all as slaves to profession/vocation in service of merchants and their maundering prostitute politicians whose greed exceeds their morality and ethic through addiction to power and prestige.
    The Devil is within me barely restrained and were I otherwise a 'nice guy' I'd simply ignore the issue having mine mate; I'M ALL RIGHT JACK, UP YOURS!
    The obscenity of these Internet censorship laws and attendant Thought Police beggar the 6 &/or 60 million slain by other dictatorships. At least theirs was a clean death not by attrition the possibility of self-education for the promised trillions to come long after the fun of those playing with us for their own gratification. The word congress has potential as innuendo in this context being both sacred and profane what difference the upper lower case? Rape is Rape all the same.

“Wit lies in recognizing the resemblance among things which differ and the difference between things which are alike.” --Madame de Staël

"Everyone once, once only. Just once and no more. And we also once. Never again."
--Rainer Maria Rilke
We the people are scraped off the sole, like dog dodo, the shoes of those who profit from our poverty . . . be life, light, love and care deeply for all living things with forgiveness doing no harm  . . . there will be no written test, it is now; to the barriers!

120602 04:49
    god not God
    . . . or adapt, improvise, prevail--endure but not subsist
    Imagine yourself in a dark room blindfolded attempting to stand upon a floor covered with marbles. You are now living in The Untied State of America: 2012.
    Your senses inform there is an enormous presence with you essentially benign--at least not growling, snuffling, sniffing your throat.
    Allegorically I am with you, we’re both naked as is this unknowable, for now, presence. Our mission is to make a risk assessment with our bare hands/selves. In order to do so we must not only traverse the floor, and the marbles, but eat our fear of being eaten; or otherwise disappeared.
    The beast is CHANGE!
    We have a potential adversary with a name yet remaining essentially unknown; like being born or dying without choice in either event.
    There is no way out.
    We must engage the friend/foe/fiend or lay useless sucking our thumbs attempting to bury ourselves through the marbles into the floor and hide in the ground beneath the basement below.
    Metaphorically the infant Adam & Eve were followed by Jesus as adolescent. It is now incumbent of us to stand to election the new paradigm mature prophets like God but not God . . . no body does God like God.
    All life dies except God whom, for convenience, we’ll just call Good. We must do what we want to do--but cannot escape the room--the ‘beast’ or death.
    Do we just lay down and quit hopefully dying in the near moment or persist moving into the opportunity?
    We grope together attempting to come to terms with what is possible or impossible--what gives life or destroys it. . . . Not just US &/or THEM, but all life forever.

120528 05:57

    We remember in this season of Memorial those who fought and died giving their all for us living in freedoms previously unknown. Yet our planet home remains in war and rumors of war to be embroiled issues thought resolved in The War Between The States -- Civil. In whose remembrance ideals of free will struggled to define and proclaim continued here as everywhere unresolved. Spoken of but still unrealized.
    I served in waiting the call to lay down my life--too--defending these freedoms and by grace avoided the death eulogized both sides the ideals regarding slavery. Innocent of both suffering and death in old age now wonder the intent the horrors of war and those words spoken afterward:

“ . . . that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”
            --The Gettysburg Address, Gettysburg, Pennsylvania  November 19, 1863

    Neither part of The Constitution nor The Bill of Rights, specifically invoked or so named or defined, it remains to my youth and old age best blest the ideals for which I would still die.
    Predeceased by my children who in citizenship and by birthright would have also sacrificed as drummer boy or nurse -- cook, doctor or General -- their lives. I prayerfully now ask how we collectively “Of -- By -- For -- the People” have become the engine of profit not prophecy.
    Measure for measure, tamped down, stuffed full I too am tempted to criticize as is the popular coin of those who otherwise have little vested interest than to annotate their ignoble passage across this stage of life. My roll call of nobility grows larger daily and inconsequential by compare i chew the words: cynic and skeptical, seeking their flavor and definition in real flesh and blood terms regarding the value and meaning of life.
    With each heart beat I grow closer to The Maker of Us All in creation life lived and left behind to what end do we live? What truths self evident incarnate in a corpse taught? Or will the students left those who follow will their lives be informed instead or mutilated in the maw of war without end?    
    Enough.
    I see no valor in the victor or vanquished merely destruction. The Family Of Mankind dismembering itself in folly for ideals profited versus the right to live self derived and freely without laws save the hearts eyes vision manifest in harmony now.
    Redemption or Reparations nether will slake the fury within me In patient confidence do I await the giver of all names Nameless to inform me my purpose to have lived or to live again or lay eternal dust

Of all the graces of God in man, charity, or love, is the greatest, 1 Corinthians 13:13

    . . . of what part The Creators epitaph Do No Murder is ignored or not understood?

enough
maybe perhaps maybe not it is enough
we share the dawn over saw tooth rock Organs
measuring  from solstice summer to winter’s solstice the next shortest
day afterwards then the next longest a rebirth for ones whose lovers are absent
separated by distantness immutable illimitable

v1 120525 07:42
f2  120527 11:58

120526 13:56

Messages within bottles drown in the mire of what’s left in my leaving
or sent payback the child who loved unconditionally those who smote him
growing crippled for a time until now whole complete finished forgiven resurrected
forgiving all who would or could do it all over again as death no longer has dominion amen


“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity...Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." --Melody Beattie

120525 03:53
"God willing, and the creek don't rise . . . "

    I will endeavor to no longer share the threads and leading's which form my current education; the where, wherefore and why of yours is my concern. And it is my sincere conviction that the function of Jesus, Mohammad, Buddha and the legions of others whose divinity will forever remain unknown to me are/were in essence teachers.
    The primary function of teaching is leadership in the following sense: it seeks to replace itself, fully conscious the inevitability of death--not merely the death of our body but institutions, cultures and civilizations. . . . Even this planet, our home. In the process of teaching it is astonishing that the teacher is taught and the student becomes uniquely more than what was taught. A gift that keeps on giving and bearing the only interest worthy of life's attention.
    Instead of rail against the obvious failure of oligarchy--or any other form of tyranny. Or as I sense it, institutionalized folly lead by ambition and greed become oppressive. Obviously not salvific in or by any means, measure or kind. Were we to be fully educated we might better serve our selves and others that they too live fully and free. Otherwise we become like those who send children laden with bombs to destroy themselves and one or more others in THE NAME OF THE CAUSE. Or as they would have it: "In the Name of God!"
    Win/Win.
    Not I win you lose.
    Since in the process--apparent--is the destruction of our home; communal: not communist or socialist but collaborative and/or co-creation; a world inhabitable for all life not just a few who hoard everything. Ambition and competition become addiction, nothing is ever enough; no more noble than crack cocaine; or a lunatic excuse for more.
    Selfishness.
    What is power?
    How do we define absolute good?
    Follow the money honey it will show who wins and loses.
    I know my death is near and dear since it will provide the next experience. Though I will, like all others, have no idea what lays beyond. The "God willing" is simply my prayer that I serve as servant to others that they too my have my wealth and more; all that they can carry or use.
    The "Rising Creek" part is my experience--first hand--of those whose lives end in dementia then Alzheimer's disease or any of a number of other forms of death by slow disintegration . . . "Death is not the worst that can happen to men.” --Plato
    When we fear anything it owns us. It is oxymoronic that those who rule use fear to control us collectively and individually. Of course I 'fear' God but only in the sense of absolute respect and would be neither God's or any man's pet. . . . But then as with any adversary it should be an agreement to disagree, not I'll kill you to prove my superiority: to you, your family, your anything or everything. Or the what, who, why, where and when of Good.
    I understand that "God" is not exclusively Christian, nor is Jesus "Christian." That said I will close with John 8:32 "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." Or as Gandhi said "There is no God higher than Truth."